27 Dec 2013, 3:24 am
goldfish21
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Age: 43
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27 Dec 2013, 3:41 am
billiscool wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
^Self love & appreciation is definitely a key component to being self confident.
Of all the books I've read on various self help topics, I'd say the single best piece of advice I gleaned from one of them was to treat yourself as good or better as you do others you love. Very simple, but very profound. I contemplated this for quite some time and have since implemented it. Sometimes if I'm feeling a bit low, I think back to this advice and these thoughts and start having much better thoughts about myself. I think about how much I love my closest and best friends, my God children etc & remind myself of my capacity to love - and that I am equally deserving of that very same love that I am so easily willing to show others. Then I think some pretty wonderful and amazing thoughts about myself and instantly feel better for it, because thoughts dictate emotions & emotions dictate actions.. so, once I'm thinking better, I feel better, and once I feel better, my actions are better - and come across as a whole lot more confident to those around me.. because they are.
Of all the books I've read on various self help topics, I'd say the single best piece of advice I gleaned from one of them was to treat yourself as good or better as you do others you love. Very simple, but very profound. I contemplated this for quite some time and have since implemented it. Sometimes if I'm feeling a bit low, I think back to this advice and these thoughts and start having much better thoughts about myself. I think about how much I love my closest and best friends, my God children etc & remind myself of my capacity to love - and that I am equally deserving of that very same love that I am so easily willing to show others. Then I think some pretty wonderful and amazing thoughts about myself and instantly feel better for it, because thoughts dictate emotions & emotions dictate actions.. so, once I'm thinking better, I feel better, and once I feel better, my actions are better - and come across as a whole lot more confident to those around me.. because they are.
none of that matters,confidence is a subjective matter.it's simple,if a woman likes
a guy,in her view he's ''confidence''.People give you confidence.Women decide
which men have ''confidence''.
No. I disagree. Completely.
Confidence is internal. It's expressed on the outside via voice, facial expressions, posture & body language, choice of words etc - but it is you who either possesses confidence internally, or you don't. A woman cannot look at a man and decide she's attracted to him and then somehow project confident thoughts and feelings into his head, granting him confidence because she so chose to bestow it upon him. It does not work that way. At all.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
27 Dec 2013, 3:48 am
27 Dec 2013, 4:10 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Dec 2013, 4:14 am
Venger wrote:
Keep saying "me so great" like 100 times before you go to sleep every night. Maybe you'll start to actually believe it, and then so will chicks. 
That would be delusion not confidence if you are not so great.
Listen boys, forget what everyone tells you to fake confidence or to just "have confidence", it doesn't work like that at all.
From another thread since this subject is repeated 1000 times:
Quote:
Confidence comes from self esteem (the feeling of self worth) and the latter comes competence.
Confidence is overrated and it's not what's really all about.
Confidence with nothing going for him = delusional, grandeur on empty basis.
For me, confidence is the consequence feeling a human gets after series of accomplishments in a particular field, competence is the key to get the confidence, the same how things work for self-esteem in my opinion.
ie. if you study hard and you're competent enough at math, you get A+, after some A's you get very confident when the teacher asks you to solve a math on the board, why else do you think the most math-nerdies are the first to rise their hands to solve a math problem on the board? It's not a coincidence, but because they're very confidence that they can solve it because they did it successfully many times before. While the less smart sporty student would very hesitant to solve it, despite his confidence in basketball. If the sport student shouts "I CAN SOLVE IT, TEACHER" - and end up solving sh** at the board, everyone would laugh at him, he wouldn't look confident in front of others anymore but as a self-delusional and stupid.
When it come to dating, the confidence is also based on past successes too, but competence is the key to get those successes: social skills, career, looks ...etc.
Confidence is overrated and it's not what's really all about.
Confidence with nothing going for him = delusional, grandeur on empty basis.
For me, confidence is the consequence feeling a human gets after series of accomplishments in a particular field, competence is the key to get the confidence, the same how things work for self-esteem in my opinion.
ie. if you study hard and you're competent enough at math, you get A+, after some A's you get very confident when the teacher asks you to solve a math on the board, why else do you think the most math-nerdies are the first to rise their hands to solve a math problem on the board? It's not a coincidence, but because they're very confidence that they can solve it because they did it successfully many times before. While the less smart sporty student would very hesitant to solve it, despite his confidence in basketball. If the sport student shouts "I CAN SOLVE IT, TEACHER" - and end up solving sh** at the board, everyone would laugh at him, he wouldn't look confident in front of others anymore but as a self-delusional and stupid.
When it come to dating, the confidence is also based on past successes too, but competence is the key to get those successes: social skills, career, looks ...etc.
Quote:
Why it's irrelevant? It is not.
I see the same logic can be applied on both:
If you are competent at math ==> you get As ==> you get confident about math.
If you are competent at being interesting to girls ==> you get dates ==> you get confident about dating.
same logic can be applied to relationships, jobs and...everything.
I see the same logic can be applied on both:
If you are competent at math ==> you get As ==> you get confident about math.
If you are competent at being interesting to girls ==> you get dates ==> you get confident about dating.
same logic can be applied to relationships, jobs and...everything.
Quote:
"You must have Confidence" is...well....BS.
Skill is the key.
You get the confidence after you master the skill in order to achieve success in specific field.
When girls say they want a "a guy with confidence" - they mean in English (or Arabic or French) "I want a guy with SOCIAL confidence" or in some instances " "I want a guy with enough SOCIAL skills that allow him to talk to ME with confidence".
A geek for example typically lacks the social skills hence not confident in social events but that same geek might be very confident when it comes to programming or solving math in class while the social butterfly soccer player might s**ts bricks just by the thought of it, then who's more confident? The geek or the soccer player? It depends in what.
Skill is the key.
You get the confidence after you master the skill in order to achieve success in specific field.
When girls say they want a "a guy with confidence" - they mean in English (or Arabic or French) "I want a guy with SOCIAL confidence" or in some instances " "I want a guy with enough SOCIAL skills that allow him to talk to ME with confidence".
A geek for example typically lacks the social skills hence not confident in social events but that same geek might be very confident when it comes to programming or solving math in class while the social butterfly soccer player might s**ts bricks just by the thought of it, then who's more confident? The geek or the soccer player? It depends in what.
So please, let's stop with this "have confidence" BS already, "Be competent" is a more tangible advice.
27 Dec 2013, 4:19 am
One could also say that confidence is going out and not trying to be attractive.
Although I can't talk, when I went for my walk today I totally noticed my really bad tan lines (my arms and face are light brown, the rest of me is white 
)
The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Dec 2013, 4:37 am
Kezzstar wrote:
One could also say that confidence is going out and not trying to be attractive.
Although I can't talk, when I went for my walk today I totally noticed my really bad tan lines (my arms and face are light brown, the rest of me is white )
Although I can't talk, when I went for my walk today I totally noticed my really bad tan lines (my arms and face are light brown, the rest of me is white
)Go to a nude beach next summer.
And share us the pictures.
No solarium, it's nasty.
27 Dec 2013, 4:57 am
yournamehere
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27 Dec 2013, 9:37 am
27 Dec 2013, 10:24 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Venger wrote:
Keep saying "me so great" like 100 times before you go to sleep every night. Maybe you'll start to actually believe it, and then so will chicks.
That would be delusion not confidence if you are not so great. blah blah blah...
He was joking.
27 Dec 2013, 2:27 pm
27 Dec 2013, 5:05 pm
27 Dec 2013, 8:34 pm
27 Dec 2013, 10:55 pm
