OkCupid experiences?

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I've had a few great dates here and there but nothing long-term. I was most successful with my messages when they included thoughtful questions and a bit of humor. From what I've learned\heard, guys should expect to have to send out messages liberally; it's a numbers game. The more messages you send, the more likely you are to hear back from someone. For women, it's more a matter of just weeding out messages (and there will be tons of them) to find someone acceptable. Good luck.

I certainly don't need sex.

Maybe masturbation is sin for Tim?

As a guy, sex is a transition point for me. If after a certain point the girl still is uncomfortable with me and doesn't trust me than I interpret that as a sign that it's not going to work out. The other problem is that the more I like a girl the hornier I get to the point where thinking about her starts to be disruptive to my daily routines. Furthermore sex is a tool for expressing affection and further ingratiating myself with the girl. It's also just fun! Opening up to sex opens all sorts of options in the relationship (including non-sexual ones). The state of the sex life is a barometer for how things are going in the relationship and I use it to tell if there is something wrong that I'm not being told about. That said, if there is no sex life that sends a barometer reading as well.

If a girl doesn't want to have sex after a month or two there are 4 reasons I can think of off the top of my head: religion, a deal-breaker for me; lack of attraction, not a good sign; emotional issues, possibly from bad experiences; trust issues, as mentioned. In my experience sex enhances good relationships and stresses bad ones to the breaking point. The longer you wait to have sex the longer it takes to bring out these issues. I dated a girl who wasn't attracted to me for months, another one with a ridiculously low libido (or not attracted). Conversely I dated a girl who only wanted to have sex in risky situations and I'd known her for months and it came out of left field. I once refused to have sex with a girl because I was in limerance with her and she was just "experimenting," so the issues can exist going the other way as well. Without moving to that level, however, the relationships could have gone on a long time with these underlying hidden issues yet undiscovered. They could even go on to the point where the value of the relationship transcends the failings in that realm... for a few years and then you have a 50% divorce rate.

The larger issue with "waiting" to have sex is the mythology surrounding it. The mythologies surrounding the emotions involved in sex, love, and commitment are powerful motivators in the early relationship but the platitudes fall short when it comes to maintenance. People for whom those mythologies are truer than fact require a level of social intelligence I simply do not posses to maintain. They also a require a level of income that I simply don't have. I am perfectly capable of having a loving relationship and have had several. But with a lot of people the relationship can completely fail for failing to properly dress the stage and put on the proper act at the proper time. Now, for the people who live in these myths successfully pulling off the act is a great boon, my friend recently spent 12,000 getting the circumstances exactly right to propose to his girlfriend at Christmas. She looks very happy in the pictures but she turned him down 2 times before and the only difference this time was better stage direction. 12,000 in lights and whatnot does not change the reasons she said no before, but now she has said yes due to being overwhelmed. How will that hold up in 5 or 10 years??? I don't know. But I do know that I would never be able to do better than that and eventually the glee of having a live action romance novella played out before your eyes will fade.

That is the association I have with waiting. It's a sign that the person I am with has more emotional needs then I can ever hope to satisfy.

OK Cupid is pretty dumb. You tend to take nice people who approach you with a grain of salt - they turn out too good to be true.

The few women on OKC I even find attractive never respond....and many just aren't my type ( have dogs, are too outdoorsy, are wicked shallow and/or too religious. some even smoke or drink heavily, which are turn-offs ). Not really sure why I even bother

After a year, I've had no communications that lasted longer than a month with anyone, let alone any dates. Lots of good conversations followed by abrupt silence and indifference.