The possibility of me ever dating is hopeless....

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Weird people find love all the time. Your biggest obstical is not your wierdness. It's your self-esteem that convinces you that nobody will like you for yourself.

I would agree with this, in combination with the lifestyle it encourages. That is, to be rather reclusive and solitary. If you are not out there, then by what magic are you hoping to meet someone?

If you have become stuck in a rut in you own surroundings, I would thoroughly recommend travelling. It removes so much of the awkwardness of meeting people. Yes, you are the new guy in town. There is no expectation for you to have lots of friends or money when travelling. It is EXPECTED for you to approach strangers and be friendly.

When in countries that speak other languages, it also covers aspie traits very thoroughly.

Because owning your own house and driving your own car are requirements by 99% NT females and if you don't meet these requirements, well plenty of other men do. I came to the conclusion that why would an NT girl go for a Aspie male (unless he's loaded) when she can get a NT alpha male instead.

Again, you're making an extreme exaggeration. 99% of people don't own their homes (many rent) & there's a higher than 1% rate of people who don't drive their own car. For some in cities cars are pointless, and owning a home is nearly impossible.. so it's becoming more and more common that these are NOT required criteria.

Ok, it is higher than 1%, but let's face it, any male who is 25+ and doesn't own a car is a very rare species nowadays.


It has certainly become that way since the economic downturn. However, the majority still do own their homes.

Depends on location.

I live in the suburbs of Vancouver, BC, where we have the highest rate of adult children living in their family homes with their parents in the entire country. This is mainly due to real estate values being through the stratosphere while local incomes haven't changed for decades.

Many people over 25 don't own vehicles, mainly due to the cost - it's very expensive to drive here. Regular gas is currently about $4.90cdn/us gallon. Insurance rates are high on newer vehicles - even with a 43% discount, insurance can still be $2K-ish/year. Mine is only $1K or so due to being a 1987 Hyundai worth $500.

There are also many NT guys with careers that earn them decent salaries who rent because of location location location & not being able to afford to buy in such an expensive city. Ditto with them not driving when they can live/work downtown within walking distance of everything.

Houses & cars are no longer a required criteria for someone to be considered dating material. You're exaggerating and making excuses for other social deficits by blaming them on socioeconomic status.

I know my number 1 problem is lack of self-confidence. When I'm under pressure I catch myself thinking about myself negatively and predicting failure. The result is obvious. literally telling you subconscious to stop being an a**hole and saying that you do have value, are attractive, and are going to succeed can make all the difference.

Wow, gas is really cheap in Canada compared to Europe. In some parts of Europe it's twice as expensive. That's why all cars are small diesel hatchbacks here.

That may be, but for here it's very expensive. we have some of the highest gas prices in all of North America. Our real estate prices are also ridiculously high compared to local incomes, making Vancouver the 2nd least affordable city to own real estate in in the entire world, second only to Hong Kong, and just ahead of Sydney, Australia on the unaffordable scale.

"Cheap," is relative. Here, compared to the average income people earn, it's very expensive.. especially since this place is very spread out and car dependant compared to some more densely populated areas with better public transportation infrastructure. People who live and work downtown don't really need cars, but for everyone in the suburbs where buses are few and far between and trains don't exist, they're pretty much a necessity. without a car it used to take me 2 hours to get to work downtown & 3-4 hours to get home, including a 4km walk from the closest bus stop at the end of the night - 7km if I had to take a different bus.

Navigating life is SO much more convenient now that I have a car on the road again. I'm going to maintain this old free car I inherited and drive it for as long as I can w/o having any payments or high insurance prices. It's going to allow me to save a lot of money.

That sounds really bad. I live 3km from my work. If I didn't have a car and there were no buses, I could still walk to work or ride a bicycle (we have showers at work).


We are moving away from the original topic here, but I'm really curious about your opinion on this car thing. Do you think that your old car decreases your dating chances? Is it about having a reliable mode of transportation or is it about status?

Not really, no. But I also couldn't give a s**t less at this point in my life.

I don't think it really decreases my chances much because the kind of people I'd be interested in dating wouldn't give a s**t what kind of car I drive. I think my attractiveness should come from me and not my possessions. I do acknowledge that having a nicer car miiiiight help me out a little, or a lot with certain types, but I'd rather be able to stay debt free and saving as much cash towards financial and business goals vs. have a newer better looking transportation appliance. If I were feeling insecure and lacking confidence, which I'm not now, then I might consider my old car as a setback to getting dates. But if I can be a confident me, it shouldn't really matter what I drive, I should still be able to come across as confident. For me right now the car is about a-b transportation, obviously not status. Eventually, sacrificing having a nice car will elevate my financial status to a point that I'll easily be able to afford a nicer car, so in the end I'll be able to make that decision without the burden of debt if I choose to buy something "nicer," in order to be more attractive to others. I can only really see buying a different vehicle if I NEED a different vehicle for work/business purposes in the future. This 1987 Hyundai only has 150,000kms on it & serves me just fine for now.

Further, my priorities are savings/investments & planning for my future, not attracting dates - which is a huge part of why I don't give a flying f**k what my car looks like. Also, if I were looking for dates, driving this thing will give me the financial freedom to afford to pay for dates in the first place.. again, priorities. But all of that is kind of moot because I don't really date, but get pretty much as much sex as I want whenever I want, so it's not like I feel like if I had a better car I'd get laid more or by "better," partners. Then there's the fact that I have a crush on my closest friend and don't really care about attracting anyone else at all, anyways.. so there are a lot of complex variables that go into the making of all of this.

I suppose being gay is one of them, too, because it just doesn't seem to be that the gay community here cares all that much about cars for the most part. In part I think it's because there are so many gays that live downtown in densely populated neighbourhoods where they don't need cars that having a car at all isn't even a dating requirement. Also, since cars are expensive to own & operate, many don't have them because they can't afford them on top of expensive rent and basic living expenses. So maybe people are a little more lenient here about what type of car people drive? That could be part of it.

If someone got to know me just a little and realizes I plan to keep driving this old free car as long as I can because I have bigger better financial goals, they might be attracted to that vs. put off by the old car - I'm not entirely sure. It's an old car, ya, but cars don't rust away here and die like in other parts of Canada and the world, so there are lots of old cars on the road here. There are several other contributing factors, but I guess in general it's just not considered such a terrible thing to have an old car here as it might be somewhere else. Heck, many older well maintained a-b cars can be found in the wealthier neighbourhoods (multi-million dollar property values) because these people are savers/investors, not the type to spend on flashy cars. Plus the mix of people here covers just about the entire world, so there's no one single dominant homogenous culture that dictates that old car = unattractive person for dating purposes.

A nicer car miiiight attract more/different people, but I've never used a car to attract a date/hookup so it's moot. I could imagine having a nicer more expensive car/truck for business marketing purposes to give the impression of wealth and success, which I suppose is what many do with cars for dating, but other than for business reasons I don't really need a different car. I wouldn't mind having a much nicer bigger better newer more expensive one in the future, but for now I appreciate this one reliably getting me to and from wherever I need to go so I can make money and stack cash as fast as possible towards much bigger goals than a better car.

I seem to have that problem too, but I'm not even sure if they are showing interest or just being friendly when they are.