The Magic Key....

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the biggest impediment to having a successful social life is being concerned with some arbitrary bar of "success" in your social life. People are attracted to people who make them feel good. If you stress out about not having a girlfriend or enough friends you will shoot yourself in the foot every time. For NT girls going on a date is a casual affair. Sure they think about it but mostly they watch netflicks or do what they would normally do. If it works out: great. If it doesn't work out... well f**k but not a big deal. Dates are just something to do to pass the time.

Now, if you are anything like I can be, that is not how you approach a date at all. I sometimes catching myself thinking: This is such a wonderful, beautiful person who will make me happy! *cue unicorn farting a rainbow.* Now, if that sounds a bit like the preamble to wedding vows... well it could probably serve. All that emotional sh** is supposed to come later. In order: dating addresses boredom, dating 1 person addresses trust, having a relationship addresses emotion and then sex. Unless you are addressing boredom with sex in which case emotion and trust are a non-factor.

If you try to start the relationship by addressing emotion you are just going to be wayyy to intense. because at that stage of the relationship emotion is not your responsibility. You should not be "happy" on a date, you should be amused. If you are looking for anything more than amusement you will likely get nothing. You also need to provide amusement, since that is what your date is there for.

Some people are going around specifically to find love, but you still need to fill their needs in the order stated. When you are first dating you are just a distraction. And that is perfectly fine. You just need to be a damn good distraction and you will get to be distracting more often. If you come in thinking the other person is going to solve your emotional issues or vice-versa it's like trying to cross a river in one step when there are perfectly good stepping stones to follow if you would just take your time. The end result of overstepping is getting dumped.

Not really. I roomed with a guy who came back to our dorm with a different woman at will. It's a combination of charisma and not being ugly.

Hi TheGoggles

Guess he was part of "the lucky minority", depending on your perspective That description sounds pretty shallow, empty and somewhat meaningless. But, to each their own.

Is there some sort of magical key out there that will suddenly unlock the door to social success.... (and therefore dating ?)

I have always felt like I was massively clued out on this big secret that all of the other normal people out there take for granted....

To me, it just feels like normal people can instantly hook up, flirt, and get into relationships without even trying. I am 28 and no girl has EVER agreed to go on a date with me. (needless to say i have never kissed or engaged in sexual relations of any kind).

To me, it feels like normal people are instantly in this giant secret club, where they can all talk with each-other freely, and can easily pick each-other up for relationships.

All I seriously want is for just ONE girl to show a real, serious interest in me...

this is complete and utter sajifdsjlfdsjlkfds. AN NT in your life may be getting laid every week, so if there are 52 NT's in your life chances are one of them is getting laid and the others are gossiping about it. Only about 2% of people actually have hyper-sex-lives where they have different partners all the time. the rest are lucky to get some action every 6 months or more and rely heavily on alcohol induced stupor to enhance their dating skills.

Then they are wrong, and can easily be ignored.

... to summarize: bulshit bulshit bulshit, wine is good.

bulls**t wine. Is that similar to Cats Pee on a Gooseberry Bush wine?

Yes look it's a real Sauvignon Blanc

This, for the win!

The more a person obsesses about being "popular", the more likely they are to sabotage their social lives. Also, the more anxious a person is about getting a relationship going, the less likely they are to even start one.

These are not hard-and-fast rules, but they do seem to prevail.

For the rest of us, it mostly involves:

• Good personal hygiene
  
• College or University education
  
• Gratifying and stable career
  
• Generosity / Hospitality
  
• Expressive talent (dancing, music, painting, poetry, et cetera)
  
• An optimistic and up-beat attitude (i.e. no complaints or melt-downs)
  
• A place to live (all your own)
  
• Reliable transportation (all your own)
  
• Fashionable clothing
  
• Accessibility and attention to others

That seems to cover most of what is needed, unless you've just won a major award (i.e. "Emmy", lottery, "Oscar", Nobel Peace Prize, et cetera).

Its tricky getting the balance. Look too disinterested and no one knows you want to date them.

that is true, but part of being a "date" is sexualizing the experience. Make jokes about sex, innuendo (in-YOUR-endo). The goal is to make the convo fun and lighthearted while also making the other person ridiculously horny and want to tear your clothes off if not for social customs. A lot of what "love" starts off as is the byproduct of repressed lust. Eventually that solidifies into it's own thing.

Not all "sexualization" is about sex, for example. Playing guitar makes girls who like guitar players horny, artist's painting etc, bodybuilder's bodies and the feats they accomplish with them. Having a talent or skill to show off is exponentially better than just 1v1 sexy talk in the early stages. Why? because she can brag about those kind of talents more freely and receive positive feedback loops from friends. On the other hand that joke that your dick is big but not so big it's going to rise out of the ocean and destroy half of Singapore (cockzilla), is not necessarily something she can repeat to her friends. (no matter how clever it is).

... please dont ask.