Dating and Making Friends: Labels

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Geekonychus
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Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

03 Jan 2014, 10:29 am

billiscool wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
I'm not blaming you 100% but those weird geeky girls that you don't seem to like you, they aren't here to answer for their alleged "crimes." You are here, so I'm addressing you.

Simple logic would dictate that if all these awkward girls were repulsed by you than there's likely something about your behavior that puts them off. The common factor is you. It's also possible that you simply aren't compatible with geeky women in which case there's nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of weird women that aren't geeks. Maybe you just haven't found the right flavor of awkward yet: :wink:

One thing to keep in mind that most of those NT women you are praising are just being "fake nice" because that's how they are taught so judging compatibility based on how polite someone is to you is very misleading. At least with these awkward women it's obvious how they feel. It's the same with awkward guys (certainly in my case.) I've met plenty of awkward people who's personalities that I found to be the repulsive (even more so than your average NT.) The worst OKC date of my life was with an Aspie girl.

My off-the-cuff hypothesis: Considering two parties with mutual awkwardness, it's likely that many compatibility issues would likely be increased exponentially. If awkward ASD, OCD, ADHD, BPD types experience emotions at higher extremes than a NT, it stands to reason that they would attract and repulse each other to a similar extreme.

In other words, love harder, hate harder. Very rough theory that needs refinement but I think aspects ring true.


no,I never did anything,the geeky girls just stop talking to me and ignoring me.
fake nice?what,dude,I have female nt friends,I hung out with one,today.
I have a female friend that flirts,kiss,and hugs me,another female co-worker
that starting to flirt with me,I've had girlfriends before. Please,some nt women
like me.why is that so hard for some people to accept,that,yes women can and do like me.

You still aren't getting it. I'm not denying that you've done well with the ladies (especially lately.) What I'm saying is that you are still only seeing things from your narrow perspective.

Based on some of your posts, you seem to be significantly more extroverted and inclined to put yourself out there than the average ASD guy. That could be one reason why you get more NT attention and supposedly push away awkward girls (who tend to be more shy and introverted.) It's possibly simply a compatibilty issue. In which case neither you or these geek girls have done anything wrong (thats just the way things are.) There are awkward extroverts but they don't tend to be the geeky kind. Maybe the manic ones are more your speed.

One of the most important things an Aspie can learn is objectivism and being able to consider the perspectives of others. It's important for casual dating and absolutely essential for a functional serious relationship. If your default modus operandi is to respond to any interpersonal conflict with complete indignation and dismissal, then it makes learning lessons all that much harder.

In this case, through logic and objective reasoning, I was able to offer you one potential explaination for the issue and even a suggestion. Can't you see that this is way more effective than simply saying "I didn't do anything. There must be something wrong with them so there's nothing for me to learn here" ? You seem more concerned with assigning blame (even when there's none to go around) than you are with learning from it.