I contacted my boyfriend's ex after he told me not to contac

Post Reply New Topic

Hare Psychopathy Checklist

Psychopathy is most commonly assessed with the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, Revised (PCL-R) created by Robert Hare, based on Cleckley's criteria from the 1940s and on research on criminals and incarcerated offenders in Canada. Each of the 20 items in the PCL-R is scored on a three-point scale, with a rating of 0 if it does not apply at all, 1 if there is a partial match or mixed information, and 2 if there is a reasonably good match to the offender. This is said[15] to be ideally done through a face-to-face interview together with supporting information on lifetime behavior (e.g. from case files), but is also done based only on file information. It can take up to three hours to collect and review the information.[1]

Psychopathy Checklist-Revised: Factors, Facets, and Items[1]
Factor 1

Facet 1: Interpersonal

Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Conning/manipulative

Facet 2: Affective

Lack of remorse or guilt
Emotionally shallow
Callous/lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Factor 2

Facet 3: Lifestyle

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Parasitic lifestyle
Lack of realistic, long-term goals
Impulsivity
Irresponsibility

Facet 4: Antisocial

Poor behavioral controls
Early behavioral problems
Juvenile delinquency
Revocation of conditional release
Criminal versatility
Many short-term marital relationships
Promiscuous sexual behavior

It doesn't matter what he thinks, you're breaking up, you don't care anymore, you're done, he can think whatever he wants, he doesn't matter anymore. You say "I'm done with you, it is over" and you back it up with actions - physically packing things up, kicking him out, etc. and not seeing him anymore. You don't say "I'd like to be single" and stay put where you are and don't enforce an actual break-up. What reason does he have to think you're serious if you just passively suggest something and don't back it up as a real intent?

Oh no! He has a bad feeling! No person in the history of the world has ever had to deal with anger!
TODDLERS are expected to deal with anger. He is 31.

You need to be more clear, obviously. State outright "We are breaking up, stop contacting me."

I'd be cutting all contact just for



Have some damn respect for yourself.

I am having issues with it even when it is stated clearly that contact is not wanted. Worst case tell him you are going and not coming back and that you will block him on everything if he doesn't stop. And if he doesn't then block him. I wish I was blocked because I'm stupid but if he's an a**hole that's the best choice you can make.

He told me I owed him - you see I dated him when I was 23 then decided not to pursue anything. We met again years later and he claimed I f****d up his life and I owed him. He was a mixture of being emotionally distraught and angry. I thought he just needed to learn to socialize again, work (he used to lock himself indoors for hours on end and think of committing suicide) and and realize he hurt me very much. Instead he told me I wronged him and I owed him the right to sleep with his ex. I thought - this man needs support blah blah.... and here I am.

New idea: Ignore every word that comes out of his mouth, dump him, forget he ever existed, and like mentioned above learn an ounce of self-respect for yourself.

The problem is - he has some things of mine that I would like him to delete. I feel like I have to be polite to get him to do as he promised before he got really ill, but now I talked to his ex-girlfriend he might not do them. I am so angry with him, I'm scared of visiting him in the hospital and punching him on the toe.

Agreed, as many issues as I have sex isn't something I expect to share with more than one woman.

I asked if he has autism, because he makes booboos when it comes to social interaction and is very socially avoidant. He thinks what's going on in his own head is miles more interesting that talking to people. He is a bit of a narcissist, every topic of conversation will eventually work it's way back to him.... how he has finished reading a chapter, how he wants to eat food.... It's exhausting listening to him knowing that his routine will not alter because I enjoy being more stimulated. He doesn't need much external stimulation and doesn't get much out of food. His lifestyle has been very parasitic and nomadic.... I assume this is part of the psychopathy checklist because it shows qualities of not wanting to integrate into society and earn money in a stable way. I think that is definitely him.

He's in hospital; get them and delete them yourself. He can't do a thing.

I can't I don't know his laptop password or his email password.

I'm about ready to swim the Atlantic and beat this guy's arse. He's probably in the mental wing of the hospital. If you don't specify what is so damn important that he needs to do for you, all I can assume is he has givin you a major inferiority complex. You need a man who builds you up, not tears you down.. Obviously you care for him, or you would have stabbed him by now.

I know, I know.... he's not in the mental wing... he's in the 'I got a post-operative infection after having my appendix out' wing.... and only because I told him to get his ass down to the doctor as his wound looked necrotic.

Usually when two girls who have a guy in common are speaking to eachother, it is often to exchange information about said guy and offer advice on what to do. So whatever advice she gave you, maybe you might want to use it wisely. We don't really need to give you any answers as I think the help you needed most was on the other side of that phone call.

My answer: But how do I think he would respond? Not well. Whatever control he might have had is now gone. Don't give him any chance to regain it.

So you called him yesterday asking if he had autism? Because in your other thread you said you wondered if he was on autism.

Honestly, I'm starting to think you are trolling all of us, but if you really aren't (you don't have a reason and if you are a tool), here's my advice.

1) He cheated on you. And yet you still latch onto him. You are showing him you will never leave him no matter what. He thinks he has you tied around his finger.

2) Who gives a s**t about what he has on you. He's gonna look like a douche if he reveals those things. Brush that stuff off, don't care about it.

3) You don't show any respect for yourself. You stay in a relationship with a person who you don't have feelings for. You said you wanted to dump him to his face and you know why he laughed? He doesn't think you have the guts to go through with it, he was laughing at the suggestion. Show a little backbone, you are your own woman, you act like he owns you or something.

I don't care if this guy is Aspie or not and frankly it matters NOT ONE BIT.

He is abusive. He is financially and emotionally abusive. I would guess he's verbally abusive as well. I would also hazard a guess that's he's capable of physical abuse if he got really angry or threatened.

He is holding 'things of yours' on his hard drive? Dirty pictures??? Some kind of writings? Blackmail. He will NEVER delete those pictures. Even if you see him delete the files - he will have backups somewhere. So accept that fact and proceed as if whatever it is doesn't exist - because that's all you can do.

If he uses said things prosecute him for harassment.

Go and talk to a hotline about abuse or see a local women's shelter. You will not be the first case like this they've seen.

And don't worry about his debt problems to the NHS...there's very little chance that they'll go after him. And there may not be a way that they CAN go after him if his case was deemed a medical emergency. In fact they may call it a medical emergency just to write it off. I live in the UK, we pick up the tab for folks like him all the time.

You want advice? CUT all contact with him immediately and forever. Don't even accept a phone call. Block his texts. Set up a filter in your email that goes to a separate folder that you delete immediately. You owe him NOTHING. You didn't ruin his life. He ruined his life and the lives of others.

You should not feel the LEAST bit bad about contacting his ex.