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Is it too soon?

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coffeebean
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18 Jan 2014, 6:04 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
Hooraydiation wrote:
I think it's worth asking what risk you're taking if you start looking for someone new too soon. They're not negligible, but maybe they're not so bad that you shouldn't take the risk anyway.

Also, you may not ever feel ready before you take that step, because taking the step may in fact be an intermediate part of the process rather than its conclusion.

I've never experienced anything like this myself, though, so I can really only guess.


The biggest risk I fear is hurting someone else's feelings because I'm not "ready" yet...so I want to be careful how I describe myself and my situation so as not to mislead anyone.

The bolded part is very insightful. Hadn't thought of that, but I think it's an excellent point.


I think setting up a profile is a good first step. If you're not ready to be dating again, there may be signs long before things turn serious enough for it to be more hurtful than any other rejection.



Eureka13
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28 Jan 2014, 11:44 am

I think it *was* too soon. While I enjoyed "talking" to several different guys, as soon as any of them suggested getting together, I kind of freaked out. I did meet the one for coffee (and was freaking out over it the whole time), but he wasn't any more into me than I was to him, so no harm, no foul.

Once the guy who lives 1500+ miles away started talking about coming to visit, the light bulb went on. Nope, definitely not ready for that!

I am still talking to one guy locally. His work interests me, and he hasn't suggested we meet yet, but I suspect that if he does, I will bow out of that, as well.

I can't decide if I should delete my profile from OKC (I spent THREE WHOLE DAYS working on it!! !), or just add a line at the beginning saying "temporarily out of contact" or some such......