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How old is too old?

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Feralucce
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20 Jan 2014, 2:18 pm

Dantac wrote:
EnglishJess wrote:
I'd just feel uncomfortable with anyone over 2 years older than me, and I can't help thinking of those even just a year younger than me as MUCH younger...


At your age, they are. Mentally and emotionally.

Rule of thumb for 'equivalent' maturity, Female equivalent to male:

At 10 she is the equivalent of an 15 yr old male
At 15 she is the equivalent of an 19 yr old male
At 18 she is the equivalent of an 22 yr old male
At 20 she is the equivalent of an 25 yr old male
At 25 she is the equivalent of an 30 yr old male

This is why in my opinion women do tend to select men that are older than them by a 'generation' (+5~15 years). Being in a relationship with a guy that is their own age feels like dating someone emotionally and mentally younger than she is..because he IS. Men grow up slower than women.

You may not feel this now, but when you reach 22'ish you won't be looking so much for a guy to party or have fun/good times/sex/etc but rather for one that 'is going somewhere' and you can look forward to having a long term or lifelong relationship with. At 20 (even at 25) the guy will still be stuck in the party/good times/sex mentality..because usually these date girls 18 to 20.

Many girls I know feel very comfortable dating a guy 10 or 15 years her senior because 'the BS and drama' is gone and the guy tends to be attentive to her needs rather that his needs. Its a more 'on the level' relationship... a more emotional connection rather than just physical.


This is a myth and part of the construct of gender roles espoused by western culture


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nick007
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20 Jan 2014, 2:37 pm

Keep in mind that the OP is an Aspie & us Aspies tend to mature difernetly than NTs. Some say that Aspies on adverage mature a 3rd less mentally comparred to our peers & I know we tend to be behind in things like independence, social skills, relationships, & getting jobs to name afew; that's the case with me but it's NOT the case with all Aspies. Some mature ahead of their peers, other mature less & some mature fast in some ways but are behind in others. Considering the Aspie lag it makes sense that an Aspie woman would rather a a younger guy. I'm not saying this is the case with the OP thou.


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20 Jan 2014, 2:53 pm

Any woman ranging from 18 to 50 is viable for me to date. Is it my preferred age range for a long term relationship? No, but if I happened to fall for someone that's 18 or 50 then that's just the way life decided to go.

I would prefer to have someone within 4-5 years younger or older than me.



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20 Jan 2014, 3:28 pm

Dantac wrote:
EnglishJess wrote:
I'd just feel uncomfortable with anyone over 2 years older than me, and I can't help thinking of those even just a year younger than me as MUCH younger...


At your age, they are. Mentally and emotionally.

Rule of thumb for 'equivalent' maturity, Female equivalent to male:

At 10 she is the equivalent of an 15 yr old male
At 15 she is the equivalent of an 19 yr old male
At 18 she is the equivalent of an 22 yr old male
At 20 she is the equivalent of an 25 yr old male
At 25 she is the equivalent of an 30 yr old male

This is why in my opinion women do tend to select men that are older than them by a 'generation' (+5~15 years). Being in a relationship with a guy that is their own age feels like dating someone emotionally and mentally younger than she is..because he IS. Men grow up slower than women.

You may not feel this now, but when you reach 22'ish you won't be looking so much for a guy to party or have fun/good times/sex/etc but rather for one that 'is going somewhere' and you can look forward to having a long term or lifelong relationship with. At 20 (even at 25) the guy will still be stuck in the party/good times/sex mentality..because usually these date girls 18 to 20.

Many girls I know feel very comfortable dating a guy 10 or 15 years her senior because 'the BS and drama' is gone and the guy tends to be attentive to her needs rather that his needs. Its a more 'on the level' relationship... a more emotional connection rather than just physical.


True



Feralucce
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20 Jan 2014, 8:30 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
Dantac wrote:
EnglishJess wrote:
I'd just feel uncomfortable with anyone over 2 years older than me, and I can't help thinking of those even just a year younger than me as MUCH younger...


At your age, they are. Mentally and emotionally.

Rule of thumb for 'equivalent' maturity, Female equivalent to male:

At 10 she is the equivalent of an 15 yr old male
At 15 she is the equivalent of an 19 yr old male
At 18 she is the equivalent of an 22 yr old male
At 20 she is the equivalent of an 25 yr old male
At 25 she is the equivalent of an 30 yr old male

This is why in my opinion women do tend to select men that are older than them by a 'generation' (+5~15 years). Being in a relationship with a guy that is their own age feels like dating someone emotionally and mentally younger than she is..because he IS. Men grow up slower than women.

You may not feel this now, but when you reach 22'ish you won't be looking so much for a guy to party or have fun/good times/sex/etc but rather for one that 'is going somewhere' and you can look forward to having a long term or lifelong relationship with. At 20 (even at 25) the guy will still be stuck in the party/good times/sex mentality..because usually these date girls 18 to 20.

Many girls I know feel very comfortable dating a guy 10 or 15 years her senior because 'the BS and drama' is gone and the guy tends to be attentive to her needs rather that his needs. Its a more 'on the level' relationship... a more emotional connection rather than just physical.


True


Not true. These are only true for a very specific set of societies... and that is only because of rearing techniques... it does not hold true in other sets


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Dantac
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20 Jan 2014, 8:41 pm

Feralucce wrote:
This is a myth and part of the construct of gender roles espoused by western culture


I read the study about this some time ago but I don't have the links to it. A quick google search pulls up similar results of other studies:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/scie ... -find.html

http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/19/w ... ys-brains/

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/h ... ins-differ



Feralucce
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21 Jan 2014, 3:36 am

Dantac wrote:
Feralucce wrote:
This is a myth and part of the construct of gender roles espoused by western culture


I read the study about this some time ago but I don't have the links to it. A quick google search pulls up similar results of other studies:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/scie ... -find.html

http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/19/w ... ys-brains/

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/h ... ins-differ


All of which were studies conducted in the societies of which I speak, therefore not a representative sample of the make up of the world.


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21 Jan 2014, 4:06 am

AngelRho wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
If they are under 18, avoid.

I prefer 21+, and age top range 31-32 (I'm 28)

You're 2??? You SICK FREAK!

[/kidding]

:lol:
He must be Stewie Griffon! lol jk also!


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21 Jan 2014, 4:08 am

Dantac wrote:
EnglishJess wrote:
I'd just feel uncomfortable with anyone over 2 years older than me, and I can't help thinking of those even just a year younger than me as MUCH younger...


At your age, they are. Mentally and emotionally.

Rule of thumb for 'equivalent' maturity, Female equivalent to male:

At 10 she is the equivalent of an 15 yr old male
At 15 she is the equivalent of an 19 yr old male
At 18 she is the equivalent of an 22 yr old male
At 20 she is the equivalent of an 25 yr old male
At 25 she is the equivalent of an 30 yr old male

This is why in my opinion women do tend to select men that are older than them by a 'generation' (+5~15 years). Being in a relationship with a guy that is their own age feels like dating someone emotionally and mentally younger than she is..because he IS. Men grow up slower than women.

You may not feel this now, but when you reach 22'ish you won't be looking so much for a guy to party or have fun/good times/sex/etc but rather for one that 'is going somewhere' and you can look forward to having a long term or lifelong relationship with. At 20 (even at 25) the guy will still be stuck in the party/good times/sex mentality..because usually these date girls 18 to 20.

Many girls I know feel very comfortable dating a guy 10 or 15 years her senior because 'the BS and drama' is gone and the guy tends to be attentive to her needs rather that his needs. Its a more 'on the level' relationship... a more emotional connection rather than just physical.
Maturity wise that pretty much sums it up but I dont think a 19 year old male should date a 15 year old female unless he wants to go to prison. :lol:


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muslimmetalhead
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21 Jan 2014, 6:57 am

ATM for me, mayne 1-2 years younger, and..like 5 years older...if i could handle her.


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21 Jan 2014, 5:47 pm

hurtloam wrote:
It gets less important the older you get. I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when you suggested that a year older seems like too much of a difference. But I agree when you are 17 years old 3 years younger is too young (is it even legal?)


Yes, I think it's definitely relative to age. A 13-year-old and an 18-year-old will face more obstacles than a 30-year-old and a 35-year-old... potentially legal ones, too.

My rule is that they have to be in the same general phase of life as I am, which is college and independence-seeking, so anyone in their 20's is ideal. I don't think someone who hasn't reached the age where they have to think seriously about job skills (teens) or who's old enough to be in my father's mindset of looking back over a long life of raising kids or watching others raise kids (late 30's and onward) is going to grow with me in the way I need.



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23 Jan 2014, 11:39 am

Feralucce wrote:
Dantac wrote:
Feralucce wrote:
This is a myth and part of the construct of gender roles espoused by western culture


I read the study about this some time ago but I don't have the links to it. A quick google search pulls up similar results of other studies:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/scie ... -find.html

http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/19/w ... ys-brains/

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/h ... ins-differ


All of which were studies conducted in the societies of which I speak, therefore not a representative sample of the make up of the world.


This is not a cultural phenomena. Its biological.



Feralucce
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23 Jan 2014, 4:50 pm

Dantac wrote:

All of which were studies conducted in the societies of which I speak, therefore not a representative sample of the make up of the world.


This is not a cultural phenomena. Its biological.[/quote]

That is not something that can be stated with complete confidence since the studies were only conducted in western cultures... there have been no studies on the REST of the world. As such, with a limited sample size (which is not representative of the entire world, just people from the 1st world, exposed to the same basic chemicals, etc) we cannot make any inclusive statements on those lines.

At this point, indications are that it may be biological in nature, but we cannot confirm it without a completely representative sample.

I will stand by this until a suitably extensive study and sample size has been conducted as drawing a conclusion without proper controls and inclusive samples is bad science.


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FunkMasterMike
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23 Jan 2014, 10:15 pm

I'm 27.
I stay within a 2-3 year guideline.
Women 18-20 are generally too immature for my age. Not to mention they like this plague called "dubstep."
Mostly people that are younger are harder to relate to. (especially things that I knew of growing up)



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24 Jan 2014, 6:42 am

FunkMasterMike wrote:
I'm 27.
I stay within a 2-3 year guideline.
Women 18-20 are generally too immature for my age. Not to mention they like this plague called "dubstep."
Mostly people that are younger are harder to relate to. (especially things that I knew of growing up)

What precisely is wrong with dubstep? OT, I know…but seriously? Reason I ask is that when I was a kid, rap had just exploded onto the airwaves and every white kid I knew suddenly turned gangsta. There was a good 5-year run of that before country music came back STRONG into vogue, not long after Nirvana utterly destroyed rock.

The advantage rap music had over any other commercial genre was its ability to continue to push creative boundaries and yet remain in the commercial, popular mainstream. Where rap has suffered has been in its message, it's preoccupation with a bleak urban landscape in which no hope is afforded except in drugs, sex, and guns.

I look at dubstep musically as a successor to rap, retaining the virtue of its spirit of musical innovation while hopefully abandoning most of its vices.

That's not to ignore the rest of the EDM world in which sound experimentation flourishes, of course, but dubstep seems to have outperformed everything else in the arena of popular appeal, to say nothing of its red-headed, bastard, inbred, step-child "bro-step."



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25 Jan 2014, 6:33 am

It doesn't matter much to me. Youngest I have been with is 7 years younger, oldest is 23 years older. The age difference doesn't bother me. Me and my current BF are 6 days apart, lol (I'm 6 days older).


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