You know whats not fair?

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I agree. I already have improved my life. I lost 80 lbs, and I'm a bit more social now. I got correctly medicated, so I'm not thinkin' too crazy. I'm also living independent with a stable income. Still stay semi-fit and healthy. I quit playing MMO's and do have 2 friends that come by from time to time. You know, so I really worked hard. (or at least I felt like I did) It's frustrating that after improving myself this much, the last thing is to have some "lonely urge" cross your mind every now and then. You know us non-NT's, we are happy with our hobbies, whatever it may be.

It's annoying to know I have eliminated so many "negative" variables from my life, and this one, can't be eliminated.
It's a really hard thing, for my crazy mind, to embrace.

Anyone have some great embracing tactics for us non-NT's?

Do they have natural pills you can take so you stop feeling this? Because I'd invest in it heavily.

Its not fair that children are born with HIV, or that millions starve while 85 people own more than 3,500,000. The world sucks and its not fair and it never will be.

Why does it have to be so black or white? And why are you predicting that you will lose most of your freedom? A healthy relationship with someone isn't meant to make you feel like you have lost anything. If it does, then it's obviously not right and you should leave. You don't tailor yourself to someone else if you don't want to, or if you find that by doing that you are giving up on crucial values and goals that you have set for yourself. You try and find someone whose values are very much like yours.

I would love to be alone in my own space and find someone who respects that and vice-versa.Thought I had, but he is a stubborn mule. I still think it might be possible, but not unless he figures out there give and take. Not huge sacrifices. I pushed myself a little, out of my comfort zone and despite being terrible tough at times, in the long run it made me feel damn proud of myself

It's not easy, I know that, but it's not impossible either. Don't settle for anything that feels like an insurmountable barrier.

Take me for example. Ideally I would find someone who for starters, understands my condition, and then it would need to be someone I could have a laugh with, someone kind and open to communication, because without that, I doubt anything would work out. It's like sticking someone in a dark room , locking the door and hoping it all goes well.

Try and open up your horizons and ideas. Look for a special girl that ticks more boxes. They *are* out there.

And have that red code handy. Red code means you both stay out of each others way for as long as need be.

Good luck

I really don't like to comment on my own posts that much, but I felt the need to.
You are a female. Men flock to females like white on rice. Women sit back, and men come their way. Talking to a nice-looking female alone feels like a huge barrier. There's too many complexities, (are they single? are they being nice or hitting on me?) and really...its not worth the time.
I heard loneliness is not having what you desire. I want to shut this function off. I don't want unnecessary responsibilities. I don't understand why I feel this (its increased over 4 years), because I like freedom. If humans "hear with their heart" then I wanna make it deaf. Some people can do this with great skill.
But it leads to more time, money, and stress to deal with. Not to mention if I know that if I only had $20 to survive on food in a week, I could make it stretch. Having someone else there is just another person/problem/responsibility there.
I have always had to tailor myself to everyone I've ever met. It's annoying to hear things you don't want to hear. It's annoying to deal with other people's problems, or even hear about them.
I'm not moping around or anything, just looking at this "love" subject at a more literal point of view.

Thanks for replying.

Janis Joplin originally.

You really think that? I was a decent looking girl, back in the day. But I had to work at it to get guys to talk to me. Yeah, I could easily have gone home, kept my mouth shut, got f****d and left in the morning with them, but that ain't dating. That's nothing. You don't even give nobody your real name when you do that s**t!

Yes, I was single in the 80's. Yes, things are different now, but I don't really think it's that much different.

Congratulations, you just described how I used to feel about talking to the guy I like. But I stuck at it and now we're pretty much friends and talking to him is almost natural.

Kris Kristofferson wrote it, though, even if he gave it to Janis and she made the first recording.

we maybe straying off topic here

I agree. Saying women have it easy? What women are we talking about? As for money? I don't know if it's because I'm too kind or too dumb, but as it happens, I always end up being the one who pays for 85% of everything, if not more. I would like it to be fair, and once or twice, and why not, be the one who gets treated. But I either choose the wrong men or I am just too damn independent and proud for my own good. I need to learn to let others be kind to me too.

I don't like how a lot of people here think women have it easy. And certainly not autistic women. We face exactly the same challenges if not more. Like OliveOilMom said, who needs those advances where all they want is a night of fun and then dump you like bubblegum? Some even go to the trouble of pretending they are interested in you, you go out for a a while and once they reach their objective…au revoir!

A good relationship takes 2 people. That's all there is to it.

well,you don't have it terrible either.You may not have it easy,
but you don't have it worst,either.

You don't know that. Sweeping statements. Stop putting everyone into the same box and start discussing personal experiences. I try to listen to individual stories and not judgements made by people who are only interested in scoring points.

Whoever things women have it easy doesn't know how difficult it is to be the girl who gets everything with the guy who has everything. I tried it for a few months, back in 1984 or so. I dated this guy I had known for a while who was in his late 30s, mid level coke dealer. Had his own really nice condo, money out the ass, drugs when I wanted them, trips to the beach whenever the mood struck us, hell he even leased me a car. I'm trying to think what kind it was but for the life of me I can't remember the name of it. One of those little two door cars shaped like a triangle. Started with a t I think. It was black. I honest to God don't remember. I do remember some things from then though.

It was fun and all. The sex wasn't all that because I was about 20 and he was in his late 30's and his butt felt funny when I grabbed it, but he enjoyed it because I was more limber then and enjoyed the credit cards and cash and cars and drugs and takeout food and high end booze and s**t. I did try to keep it up but it was exhausting. Do you know how difficult it is to pretend you are interested in hearing the same story 35 times? In one night? (coke dealer, remember?) Do you know how difficult it is to pretend to always be turned on by a guy you aren't turned on by? To pretend you don't notice that every time you have sex his big gold cross on the heavy chain is smacking you in the face? I tried. I really did. I enjoyed the whole thing when I was there by myself or out driving the car and listening to music or at the library or something or turkey creek or something. I did sometimes enjoy sitting around drinking and shooting the s**t with him like we were friends. But then he would get all TERRITORIAL and s**t and it just wouldn't work. So, no. No, no, no, no, no.

That experience is probably why I did not try harder with the boy who had legitimate money and was my friend and hung out in the same crowd as me and who liked me but I really kind of just liked him as a friend but he was nice and fun so I was willing to try, a few months later. It just reminded me of the time with Billy, and that made me feel like I just wasn't good enough, so I wsn't going there again. Billy never made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Hell, he worshipped the ground I walked on, but I felt like I wasn't good enough cause I never felt like I thought I was supposed to feel like in that situation. I just couldn't pull off the "kept lady" thing very well.