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sly279
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26 Jan 2014, 7:21 am

Onewithwings wrote:
I understand. It might be hard for a person who is most visually inclined to feel connected to someone who relies on other senses. I am a painter and most of my hobbies are visual as well, though I have both deaf and blind friends.


yeah. deaf where they can't speak? if so that wouldn't be as bad as at-least beginning i prefer text based communication, and still as of now 90% of mine is via text, more cause my only friends are not in town and phone calls scare me same with Skype

i wish there was a safe way i could get peoples honest opinion on my looks. though pretty sure itd be bad which scares me cause i don't need something to make me more sad and that reddit thread was a big hit, they were so nice to all the others though they were majority gorgeous women/guys seeking compliments, i guess i misunderstood the purpose, i thought it was for less attractive people to hear nice things.

i suppose also that people can feel better about themselves by putting others down



Onewithwings
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26 Jan 2014, 8:31 am

I am sure you have good traits physically, most people do. I try to be honest but looks are hard because one it's a matter of opinion and two it's considered rude and insulting to point out traits you find unattractive. It understandably hurts one's feelings, so asking someone if you are attractive is a loaded question.


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Onewithwings
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26 Jan 2014, 8:36 am

Also you are young still and I think as you get older looks matter less because people start to realize that physical beauty will fade anyway.


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Rigor
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26 Jan 2014, 12:01 pm

sly279 wrote:
so from what i gather there is a universally considered ugly by all women.

so what should we people in this category do, die?

Well, that's my plan.



sly279
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26 Jan 2014, 8:53 pm

Onewithwings wrote:
Also you are young still and I think as you get older looks matter less because people start to realize that physical beauty will fade anyway.


thats true but then you get into the territory of why is this guy x amout of years old and hasn't had a relationship, and they then asume the reasons are cause you a bad guy or a creep. even at 26 i've got that :(



sly279
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26 Jan 2014, 8:53 pm

Rigor wrote:
sly279 wrote:
so from what i gather there is a universally considered ugly by all women.

so what should we people in this category do, die?

Well, that's my plan.


well hopefully its not for a long while



sly279
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26 Jan 2014, 8:56 pm

Onewithwings wrote:
I am sure you have good traits physically, most people do. I try to be honest but looks are hard because one it's a matter of opinion and two it's considered rude and insulting to point out traits you find unattractive. It understandably hurts one's feelings, so asking someone if you are attractive is a loaded question.


hmm true but i cant judge if i look urgly or good but as you said its risky for both people i guess, so idk what to do . though the people on reddit had no problem hurting peoples feelings



goldfish21
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26 Jan 2014, 10:45 pm

Stop thinking about it.

Find your passion and focus all of your mental & physical energy on it.

Others are attracted to passion. Someone may become attracted to you because you're passionate about something much more important and valuable than vanity.

Fact.


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sly279
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26 Jan 2014, 11:12 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Stop thinking about it.

Find your passion and focus all of your mental & physical energy on it.

Others are attracted to passion. Someone may become attracted to you because you're passionate about something much more important and valuable than vanity.

Fact.


video games, shooting, cars, and airsoft. all are male dominated and not very social plus can only afford to do video games. so if i dont seek girls out they won't find me lol

my area pretty much has, movies, bowling, shooting, and movies i often wonder what its like in a bigger city with more things to do and clubs and dating groups. though all the people of big cities would be scary hehe
oh and online browser games

what do women do anyways o.O



Onewithwings
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27 Jan 2014, 3:15 am

sly279 wrote:
what do women do anyways o.O


I paint, I cook, and I interweb. Wish I was more interesting, lol. Trying to find a new hobby, but it's hard for me. Recently started learning to write code. I'm not the most social. I love having one or maybe 2 people around who I'm close to, but I hate big crowds.


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sly279
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27 Jan 2014, 9:28 pm

Onewithwings wrote:
sly279 wrote:
what do women do anyways o.O


I paint, I cook, and I interweb. Wish I was more interesting, lol. Trying to find a new hobby, but it's hard for me. Recently started learning to write code. I'm not the most social. I love having one or maybe 2 people around who I'm close to, but I hate big crowds.


idk that sounds interesting to me. painting is cool and cooking is fun. and theres lots of things on the interweb

i can't do anything art like i surpose i'd be more interesting to women in my area if i could well if i looked better too.



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27 Jan 2014, 9:51 pm

I used to be fat, bald, and ugly.

Now I'm just bald and ugly.

Don't sweat the looks…it's all just a state of mind. I've known people who where fatter and uglier than I ever was who had personalities that filled the room well past their physical girth. People couldn't help but be drawn to them. The main thing is to have something to offer beyond looks that make you interesting, that make people WANT to get to know you better.

And I've known physically beautiful people on whom good looks just seemed a waste--people who once you got to know them lacked any significant intellect, or were difficult to work with, or were so unapproachable nobody'd want to even take the time to get to know them past the regular superficial once-over.

Looks do matter…

…but they're not EVERYTHING.



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27 Jan 2014, 11:10 pm

attractiveness is a state of mind.

If you're focused on how unhappy you are, that aura is felt by everyone around you and you don't come off appealing.

I think we're special in that way: we generally don't come off appealing as it is, but when we're having fun and getting excited, it is appreciated in somewhat of an esoteric way, I guess you could say.

And I'm gonna tell ya: the majority may not find it the most appealing (partially because they're insecure), but the right one will. :)



crubs
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28 Jan 2014, 12:48 am

It's a crying shame to see so many people brainwashed by popular dating advice that lacks basis in reality. Then again, I don't really expect a big difference between aspies and NTs in regards to opinion on physical appearance.

But how about an empirically tested look at how things really work? If you're as ugly as you sound (as ugly as I am) then no normal girl will ever want you, it's as simple as that. Your best bet is to find a blind girl who is physically incapable of judging you based on your appearance. You can take any other girl and lavish her in romance, love, and affection, but she'll never love you because you don't have what she really wants, i.e. looks.

That being said, I have no idea how to find a decent blind girl.



TheDoctor82
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28 Jan 2014, 12:49 am

crubs wrote:
It's a crying shame to see so many people brainwashed by popular dating advice that lacks basis in reality. Then again, I don't really expect a big difference between aspies and NTs in regards to opinion on physical appearance.

But how about an empirically tested look at how things really work? If you're as ugly as you sound (as ugly as I am) then no normal girl will ever want you, it's as simple as that. Your best bet is to find a blind girl who is physically incapable of judging you based on your appearance. You can take any other girl and lavish her in romance, love, and affection, but she'll never love you because you don't have what she really wants, i.e. looks.

That being said, I have no idea how to find a decent blind girl.


and you think you're ugly; you're funny as hell! you could make a great gal laugh her ass off :D



sly279
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28 Jan 2014, 2:26 am

in person around others, i apparently come off as happy and confident. hence no one knows i'm sad. part of it maybe be that i was able to teach my self not to smile(mostly) so doing fake smiles isn't hard, but also cause i do get happier when with people. i tend to make women smile and laugh and guys too, people say i'm funny and should do stand up o.o

as previous discussed dating a blind person wouldn't be doable my hobbies are sight dominated, now if i met a blind woman and we did were good together would i try to make it work yesss, but i don't look them out plus most don't put that on their profile i guess like i don't put down aspergers, add and ocd.

i think if there was a singles group or dating group and after i got over my shyness i'd do great asided from looks, but idk as i'm terrified to walk up to a girl.