I contracted Genital Herpes (HSV 2)! Help!

Post Reply New Topic

I have been using Olive Leaf Extract pills with (partial) success (I think). But taking anything other than natural herbs would be terrifying for me. It would really settle that I have a serious illness, that I need medication for. This reminds me way too much of a HIV infection. I feel like it is so close to that, and I cannot stand the thought.

I cannot truly forgive myself for this. I just did not have to do it. I am such a careful person in general, and then I do this.

I can sometimes feel like other people's view on me as a "lower existence" because of my Aspergers Syndrome is intensely solidified by this event. It's like all those bullies in the past finally got their way with me to show me where I belong - beneath them. It's horrible I connect this disease with those feelings. It's like I have become a prisoner in my own body.

HSV does not turn into a disease like HIV turns into AIDS. HSV stops at HSV, period. You should not have intimate contact during an outbreak, and not that you would want to anyway, as it would be uncomfortable. Open sores can let other viruses in, but as I said, you have to have an open sore for that to be a possibility, and I'd venture to guess if you have an open sore you don't want anyone going near it. You are more likely to have outbreaks if you are under stress. So, take a breather and do your body some good

You are not subhuman. If you read books on virology and microbiology, you will find some interesting factoids. Humans are only a very small percentage human, LOL. There are many ways that viruses and bacteria may alter our behavior in general, even seemingly benign ones. There are viruses that can make other species go contrary to their own nature (turning a male to act like a female, as one example) in order to spread to continue their life cycle. Our gut bacteria may change our dietary choices and moods. It is fascinating how we are driven by the microcosmic world, leaving nobody exempt. You know that croissant you wanted for breakfast? That craving may have been triggered by a microbe in your small intestine!

You do not have to be the sum of your fears. You can be the sum of your hopes and dreams

Also, consider taking Lysine supplements. Arginine is what the virus uses to reproduce, and it can be found in huge amounts in nuts. Especially peanuts. High levels of Lysine in the blood can make it difficult for the virus to replicate itself.

You need to go easier on yourself. I have been in intimate relationships with 3 different men with herpes (two of them for >10 years) and never got it myself. In the two long-term relationships, I remember each of them only having one outbreak the whole time we were together, and neither of them took the antiviral to control it. They both said that in the beginning they'd had outbreaks maybe a few times the first year or two, and after that, it became extremely infrequent (obviously, if each only had one outbreak in a 10+ year span).

Many women I know also have it, and have never transmitted it to anyone. Most of them take the antiviral drug, and most of them report going many, many years between outbreaks before starting the drug, and having NO outbreaks since taking the drug. I do understand that women, in general, are less squeamish about taking meds than men.

Just be up front about it to potential partners--you will be surprised to find how many people have it already. Aside from myself, I can't think of more than one or two people I've known well (well enough to discuss that sort of thing, anyway--a rough estimate would be a couple dozen people) in the last 15 years who *don't* have it.....

I suspect that the vast majority of people who have it and who don't take meds for it have never reported it to their doctor, so it may be much more prevalent in the population than the 1 in 6 figure that is stated earlier in this thread.

What you need here is a grip. It's a virus, that's all. Virii don't know from morality. And there happens to be effective medication. Go get it. Yes, you do need to disclose to any potential sex partner, but odds aren't bad that she's got it, too.

Something to avoid, btw, is believing that a girlfriend's safe if you just go down on her, meaning you don't have to say anything. It's not true -- virus sheds preferentially near site of infection, but it doesn't just stay there -- and a lot of HSV gets spread around that way.

My boyfriend's got both AS (undiagnosed, I know I shouldn't but baby please) and HSV. I'm NTish and, so far, no HSV. Won't be the end of the world if it happens. As others here have said, majority of the world's population carries it. I'm guessing the susceptibility's likely a dominant genetic trait.

This sucks for you man. Just know you can live and love with it, especially with an informed partner.

The HIV thing is complete BS. It's misreading statistics.

In statistics there are independent variables and dependent variables. When the independent variable changes the dependent variable changes, but not vice versa. In this case you seem to think that herpes causes or facilitates HIV infection, which is not the case. This is called a fallacy or 'spurious correlation.' Herpes does not effect hiv at all in anyways, being promiscuous raises the risk of both, however. Promiscuity is the independent variable, and promiscuous people are more likely to have hiv, herpes, or both. Conversely it is more likely that someone with hiv or herpes is promiscuous. Having hiv or herpes are effects of the same cause, and do not feed back into the equation to cause additional maladies. So focus on the problem you do have, not fears fed by irrational propaganda meant to prevent you from having sex in the first place rather than to provide accurate or helpful information.

Thank you for all the well meant and kind words. It is just that I do not really believe them, to be honest.

I mean, why would it be true that,

- "What you need here is a grip. It's a virus, that's all"

- "You need to go easier on yourself."

- "It's really not that bad."

- "You are not subhuman."


when at the same time


- "just because it is common does not mean you are exempt from doing the moral thing by disclosing your status to an intimate partner. You weren't given the information and choice and now you feel pretty crappy. Don't do that to someone else.

- " Just be honest about it."

- "This sucks for you man."

- "WOW, barely any physical contact and you contracted it? That is seriously bad luck man, I feel really bad for you."

- And all the social stigma that is attached to it. It WAS because I was promiscuous that I contracted it, it was a one night stand, the stigma is true!! !


I just do not feel I am that kind of person. Had I known the risk would I never have done it. Now it is too late. If I was not subhuman before due to Aspergers Syndrome, I definitely am now. As if I just had to make that all clear for myself.

Oh, come on. People have sex all the time (which is part of why so much of the population has HSV). Some subset of of the population identifies non-deadly-serious sex with sin. You don't have to include yourself in that subset if you don't want to.

All you were guilty of was ignorance. In the meantime, yes, it sucks, because outbreaks are an annoyance and can be painful, in the US medication can be expensive, and it's something you'll have to deal with forever. And yeah, if you did contract HIV, having preexisting viral conditions like this could become a more serious problem. So don't get HIV.

It's the right thing to tell someone else about it because you don't want her to have a lifelong annoyance if she doesn't have to have it. Also, for all you know she might have some condition that'd make HSV a more serious thing. But this is not 1800, it's not syph, and her nose isn't going to rot off from it. It's more serious than having a cold, but it's hardly a death sentence.

My bf deals with it by refusing to have physical contact if he feels a tingle coming on and by taking antivirals. Not a big deal. If I do pick it up -- and I certainly could -- then I'll just deal with the occasional outbreaks like the rest of the world does.

I had a friend (almost a gf) who was bumbling around like a lost puppy because she got so depressed about her condition. I pushed her to get a job with insurance because her condition was going untreated (which for some reason I thought the post office had benefits because it was a gov't job). IDK where she is now but I feel like I helped her live with it.

I would also like to point out that having herpes was not the factor that prevented the relationship except as it related to my insensitivity and directness and her insecurity.

One thing is having to deal with the condition myself - needless money spent on medication etc. and the physical and emotional pain from outbreaks.

A whole other thing is having screwed up the marriage I, hopefully, will some day have. A whole marriage just for a one night stand. It's insane.

And before finding an accepting girl (why should she), I will have to face possible rejection just for that reason.


I still cannot fathom I did this to myself. The body my parents have nurtured and taken care of, and I decide to just throw it all away. So extremely disrespectful to my parents.

As other users have said this condition is not a death sentence. One of the posters said that AFTER he got the condition he had 2 long term partners who did, in fact accept him AND that he did not transmit to them.

Your body is not ruined, you are not walking dead now nor should you find it acceptable to hasten a fate which is yet long in the distance.

You're starting to really get warmed up to this "woe is me" thing. I really do suggest you back up a few steps, calm down, and re-think this. It simply is not the tragedy you make it out be.

I knew my partners had HSV and I still was willing to be with them (and marry two of them!! !! !), and I honestly didn't care if I got it or not. Yes, it would have been a mild inconvenience (although I understand it is much less so for women than for men) on the rare occasion of an outbreak, but taking a now-generic drug that (IIRC) cost my ex $4/month is simply NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

Pete, the Aspie obsessiveness is kicking in and you need to step back and learn the facts. HSV has nothing to do with HIV.

Here's a few stats that should help you feel so.. not alone:

I've read that at least 20% of people in North America over that age of 12 have HSV1 or HSV2. That's a lot of people. You're far from alone on this.

There's only a 1-3% chance of transmission while using a condom and not having an outbreak, so the chances of passing it on to others if you're responsible are very slim.

I went and had a bunch of std tests done last year just to be certain I hadn't contracted anything serious. I hadn't had any high risk sex, but did have some health problems and I wanted to be sure they weren't related to any STD's. The CDC nurse that drew blood samples to test for everything under the sun and gave her little counselling speech told me that while they test for a half dozen or so different STD's, they don't even bother testing for HSV1 or HSV2 anymore unless they get a specific special request to do so because it is just so ultra common and tends not to really impact anyone's lives much, if at all.

If the CDC doesn't even bother to test for it anymore because it's nearly as common as the common cold and doesn't pose much of a health risk to anyone, then that should tell you that you're magnifying the issue and should reeeeally just relax a bit about it - especially since stress can cause outbreaks.

Get yourself into good physical/mental health and build your immune system as best you can and you may never have another outbreak in your life. Also, be sure to follow the advice online for people that do have outbreaks and make sure you dry off thoroughly after a shower (use a hairdryer if necessary) and use something like baby powder afterwards to keep your groin/genitals dry - as HSV prefers moist conditions for an outbreak.

Just had another outbreak due to a stressful situation.

This brings up all the negative emotion again. Just when I have "forgotten" about the condition, I get an outbreak, and all of a sudden all the emotional pain returns.

I will only take natural remedies to relieve the symptoms, taking pills would be the definitive acknowledgement that I am a irresponsible loser.

I cannot accept I did this to myself. I should be the responsible person I believe I am, but clearly, I cannot be that.

I feel like "damaged goods", like I am someone infected with leprosy, you should keep yourself away from.

As if I should have a bell around my neck warning everyone around me to get away.


The only good thing I can see about this is that I get more thankful for not being in a wheelchair for instance.

But still, that is little comfort.

I think this is a problem with Aspie obsessiveness as Metal_Man states it. I felt bad about social judgments before this ever happened, but now it is even worse because there is actually something real about those judgments (besides the autism obviously).


I do not feel I can ever become complete again, that my confidence will ever truly be the same again. This condition makes me feel broken. Any sexlife will forever be compromised because of a one-night-stand. It is horrendous.

Your problem is more your way of thinking rather than what you've contracted.