IKnowWhoIAmNow
Deinonychus
Joined: 9 Jun 2013
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 314
Location: Suffolk, United Kingdom
13 Feb 2014, 2:54 pm
Eccles_the_Mighty wrote:
In order to find your Prince Charming you must kiss a lot of frogs.
LOL
But it's the same for men too; to find our Princess we have to kiss a lot of frogettes and dating lots of people seems to be the only way to do it. For many people with AS, the overload of the serial dating scene is horrendous as is having casual relationships and in that I include a first date with somebody you only mildly fancy.
I always wish I had met somebody in RL, but due to my AS rarely found myself in social situations or jobs where I met compatible partners. I hoped to have an academic career where, amongst other things, I'd meet a lot of brainy and eccentric women (as I characterised myself before diagnosis), but my AS denied me even that career (for non-intellectual reasons). Even partly recovered, with something of a social life, I don't meet many single women at all, never mind AS or borderline AS/NT women. In any case, even if I could stomach the serial dating scene, the whole thing is just too hit and miss.
Also, and this is my take on what bumble said previously, many people are into (soft) illegal drugs or drink like fishes or smoke. I don't mean out-and-out druggies; even many otherwise sane people don't see anything wrong with those. Smoking and illegal drugs turn me right off and while I would sometimes join after-work heavy drinking sessions to be sociable, my heart wasn't really in it.
So though ideally, I'd meet somebody in RL, the odds are stacked against it; especially for a man. I mean, at least (most) women can just wait for men to chat them up and ask them out; women can reject the no-hopers, check the seemingly good ones out on Google before a date, reject potential threats and choose when and where to date the men.
Even in today's supposedly sexism-free world, men are still expected to make all the running, which I obviously wouldn't want to do unless it was somebody I really liked; so far, in the hit-and-miss world of RL, even finding somebody I like is hard enough, let alone somebody who also likes me. So unless I get really lucky, it's online dating or forums like this one for me
