Oh The F****!

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It was a Pizza Buffet called Ci Ci's Pizza. Great place! Id take a woman to a nice diner restaurant on the first date but I wont go all out. But if we were at the mall Id take her to the food courts they have nice variety there. Here in America you usually buy fast food for the GF to bring home. And if she's a single mom you gotta get the kids something too--that'll get you a lot of points with her lol

Gawd, she reminds me of one my dates; she told me that she thinks that guys in relationship shouldn't stay in contact with female friends, she told me that after seeing a pic of female friends doing a birthday surpise for me - yet she had a horde of males complimenting on her bold beach bikini pics she loved to post on FB, she even had a pic of her with open shirt showing bra, the only pic I asked her to remove back then (and she did) because it was very sexually suggestive and horny guys were posting nasty comments but I think she liked that (otherwise she would have deleted them).
Not to mention that I found out she was sleeping with one of them .

I knew she was not a gf material but our relationship was purely sexual (never called me a bf), yet I couldn't tolerate her hypocrisy.

Slut people tend to think that all other people, guys and girls, are slut like them.

Well they have been together 4 years and if that guy knows what's good for him he'd better do like Andy Stone told Ace Rothstein in Casino and "Get Out". Lol
And when I saw her friend's page, she had a meme up that said, Women don't like guy who flirts with every woman. But hey, what do I know right? Hope it works out for them 2 though. Four yrs is a lot.

First up, good for you Shaded for asking this young lady out on a date.

You mentioned you're still at school. I am 43, so school ended a long time ago for me. I raise this just for context, and I'm guessing as i am older it just means I have gone through a LONGER series of dating dramas. I too found some "characters", to put it mildly.

If your experience is anything like mine, the bad news is you may have to be patient. And I am not very patient... same way the world is not very small i.e. I am very impatient.

Good news though is Miss Right is out there. I found mine a few years ago. And if I can find someone, I think you'll be fine. So I'm posting because maybe you can learn something from my mistakes.

And there were heaps of mistakes. And heaps....and heaps more. Looking back, the "series of dating dramas" and all the "Miss Wrongs" taught me lessons I needed to woo Miss Right. I didn't know that at the time though. So all the failed dates, then failed relationships often hurt/was confusing/really sad/frustrating etc etc.

Not much went right. Honestly, only reason I found my Miss Right was I didn't give up, I kept trying, but I tried to learn from my mistakes every time.

I also learned everything I could about women (from books, pretty much the same way I've learned everything - theory then practice, usually hopeless at first but I'm pretty determined).

And from chatting to female friends & colleagues (mainly listening, which I am hopeless at but getting better....and I forced myself....amazing what happens when you do though).

I even asked psychologists. They couldn't tell me much but at least them admitting even their wives were sometimes a mystery made me feel like, hey, maybe no-one gets it . I honestly don't think anyone does. But hey, you don't have to either. Near enough is good enough.

Again, as I'd like for you to be quicker than me at finding the person you deserve, here's a few things I noticed from your post. They took me 20 years to learn. If they help you, great. If not, no harm done.

I thought your choice of eating place was fine.....again, nowhere is perfect and you put a lot of thought into it. I learned the place doesn't really matter as much as I thought. What does though is you never ask her where she wants to go....never. TELL her.

Yep, TELL. By doing this, you take charge. And she will appreciate that.

So you might say: "Feeling hungry? I know somewhere good etc." A bit of mystery never hurts

Almost certainly she will say: Yeah? Where?". You can then say: "Let's go to (in your case the pizza place)." Explain why - the food's good, it's nice and relaxed.....whatever sounds fair. But never ask.

Sound rude? Pushy? I used to think so. From her perspective though it lets her know you've thought of her, you've planned this...and you start to look like a a man in control of his destiny. Which you are. But now she can see it. And that's attractive.

Besides, she will let you know if she doesn't want to. Maybe she has an allergy to pizza or something.....so always have a Plan B...another place. You had that - the diner. And that will impress her even more....but you usually won't have to bother.

Just tell, don't ask is all I learned to do. The place doesn't matter if she doesn't mind. And if she minds, nothing else is going to matter anyway.

I hear your frustration too about her telling you about the BF/GF situation. But that's me, as an Aspie. A male one, too.

So in this situation, and similar, I learned just to listen. If I spoke it was just to say "mmm hmm?"....."oh no?....."what happened next?" etc. And eventually she will wrap it up. But never to use logic, tempting as it is.....sometimes It's better to say nothing and be happy, as opposed to right and lonely. I learned that the hard way.

Simply listen......and ironically, it ends. She feels listened to......a win.....and she will appreciate you listening. Again, took me a lot of practice and still does, but it is getting easier. Besides, it's worth it.

Most men fix problems thinking they are helping (and in our world, yep, we are) but she doesn't need a fix. Just a vent. Same way you did.

So just a few quick things that helped me....

In closing, stick at it mate - you deserve to be happy. And your Miss Right deserves you. Good on you.

^ So in another term, a man should adapt with the gender BS thing and live with it?

Good point for mine, MMM, thanks for that.

All I can add, and I'd stress I'm not taking anyone's side, is it sounds like by that stage both people were frustrated.

Exactly how it started? Dunno. Ditto who got who off on the wrong foot. I wasn't there.

Have I said similar stuff? Yep. Regretted it? On a host of levels. Then, of course.

But mainly later when I realised how literal I can be, and just how harsh I can sound when I'm upset. Especially to women, even more so when they don't know me. And just how intimidating or upsetting it is to women, men, kids.....even the cat...when I get angry or upset and cut loose on something or someone and it comes out "wrong", or badly.

So it wasn't too cool, but beating myself up over it wasn't an answer either.

Doing things differently was though. And I got to keep my dignity in the process, so that was a bonus. In a host of situations.

Dealing with relationships also got a whole lot better when I learned "she", whoever it was, probably wasn't "complaining" about a movie or anything else.....she was just communicating differently. I never knew that.....but I never listened much either.

Again, thanks.

I don't think any kind of buffet is appropriate for a 1st date. Women don't "stuff their faces."

I do think she sounds like she has a hairpin trigger which is annoying.

If she would've left I wouldn't have cared. Nobody has time for that. And it could've been worse things said. I could've included; hoe-ass and b***h in the sentence too. But I never call women those things. She didn't spend a dime that day basically. And I still gave her gas money for taking me home. She basically killed the vibe.
This time I asked where she wanted to eat just to be different. Like, maybe she has a craving or something? But I shouldve just said, we're goin here! Lol
I guess when I replied to the situation like I did, I guess in her head she started applying it to our relationship in some type of matter.
Im just saying she could've let that s**t go and came back to it another day at least. When I said "you could've stayed your ass at home" it wasn't in anyway of demonstrative tone. But hey maybe it wasn't meant to be. I never heard back from her which is messed up but I'd prefer it that way anyways.

I hope she doesn't consider me as a friend because I'm not her friend. My rational way of thinking often gets me in verbal trouble and/or misunderstood. I just take my advice and STFU sometimes and reply with: "ohhh", "okay", "what happened next?" etc. But even I know that won't last long. Lol