What's it like being an attractive woman?

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Eureka13
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25 Mar 2014, 11:47 am

Tell me about it. My employers keep hiring large-busted bombshells for the admin positions here, and then they show cleavage, bat their eyelashes, and wheedle their way out of actually doing the work. Since I'm the only other woman in the department, although I'm engineering staff, all the admin work that the barbie dolls are too special to do gets dumped on me, even though there are men of lower rank than me in the same department.

Ultimately, it comes back on them. I can be promoted in my position. They are already at the top tier of theirs. I just make sure to document on my evaluation every year that I am doing most of their work, in addition to my own, and at the end of the day, I can sleep with a clear conscience knowing that I'm carrying my weight, even if they're not.

NB: If I wanted to play off my looks, I could (although I might have to get implants :P ), but since I am a woman working in a traditionally male field, I refuse to "take advantage of the system" as a "minority." Or use sex to get ahead in the workplace. Bottom line, the barbie girls may get off easy, workload-wise, and otherwise get special treatment, but they'll always be viewed as decoration rather than valuable workers and will never get ahead, career-wise.



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25 Mar 2014, 11:56 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
To make it easier for the readers:

http://www.quora.com/Physical-Appearanc ... attractive


Moral of the stories: LOOKS ARE VERY IMPORTANT!! !! MORE THAN WE EVER THOUGHT :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

8O :? :?

I'm guessing the emphasis here is sarcastic.

In any case, these stories are reinforcement that humanity is bad and this planet should be nuked.



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25 Mar 2014, 6:04 pm

You know, all eye-rolling aside, reading stuff like that does make me wonder if I should put more effort into my appearance. After all, I already do put effort into getting along with some people. If, say, dressing better could help me to do that with less effort overall then it would be the rational thing to do. Of course, I have no way of knowing without putting significant effort into it up-front - which is why I haven't tried it.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The world is just nicer to attractive people. Just like the world is nicer to rich people.


That's an interesting parallel. I guess it's also one good reason to strive to be rich. :) Your genes are purely a matter of luck, but your wealth is something you may have a bit more control over.


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Ann2011
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25 Mar 2014, 7:27 pm

This is going to be vain, but here goes anyway: I've always found it makes a difference. I know I have received special treatment because of my looks (more so when I was younger.) These days if I dress up I can still turn heads, but I don't bother much - I don't like the attention.
But for sure, it can be used as an advantage.


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25 Mar 2014, 8:00 pm

Falloy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moral of the stories: LOOKS ARE VERY IMPORTANT!! !! MORE THAN WE EVER THOUGHT :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

8O :? :?


I've always thought that looks were massively important in determining how people treat you. I'm male and I think this goes for men as well as women. People don't like to admit it though - we're conditioned not to admit it. We like to think we have more depth than that.

I've always felt that I am unattractive. I've always been told that I'm unattractive and mocked for it, despite the fact that since my early teens I have taken a great deal of care over personal grooming, hygiene, clothes and manners.

People often make unflattering compare me to some monster or other - the most frequent being Lurch from The Addams Family. I currently have a surgical wound on my forehead (having had a BCC recently removed) and last week my (female) boss suggested that I look like Frankenstein's monster...

I am beginning to wonder if my Autism has something to do with this "appearance" - that it is my blank, expressionless face and awkward body language. I try to counter this but of course I can't do it convincingly all the time. As I say I expend a lot of effort on my grooming and hygiene so these are not an issue. I dress in clean and tidy clothes but I can't wear the latest fashions because they just don't make these clothes in my size (plus, I'm 47...)

I guess that I will never know how much of what puts people off is my physical appearance and what is non-verbal communication but it is heartbreaking. Throughout my working life it has been very easy to see that when a good looking guy starts in the office, some women start putting out an "I'm interested" vibe to him (even before he has spoken a word to them). This doesn't happen to me. Flirtiness in the office environment seems to be behind an awful lot of who gets promotions, who gets trained and, in downsizing situations, who keeps their job. I'm at the bottom of the pile.

I do think that good looking people just get better treatment across the board. Often really good looking people are really nice because they have received such good treatment from others; I don't believe that it's the other way around: i.e. that they are attractive because they are so nice). In my experience it has been the less attractive people who have tried to bully or ridicule me as a way to try and claw their way up the social totem pole.


I think it's mostly the opposite. I think good looking people treat others not as good because they think they are hot stuff. If they see someone who is not even average looking they won't even consider dating them, or they will only talk to them to make them feel better and aren't emotionally interested in a conversation.

I was at an event this weekend and a girl I talked to online was there. She was fading on me so she didn't approach me. However, after seeing me for the first time in a year and seeing my weight loss and better overall appearance, she is now starting to hit on me. Good looking people do get better treatment, as unfortunate as it is. I feel like I'm a 6-7 out of 10 now while I was a 3-4 a couple years ago do to being overweight and not as confident. People who use to bully me about appearance and take advantage of me treated me very differently. This opened my eyes, while they might have matured a little bit, some of it was due to my new appearance.



em_tsuj
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25 Mar 2014, 10:21 pm

Hygiene, clothing, and hairstyle also make a huge difference! I have become an astute student of fashion, seeing particular items of clothing and accessories as clues to the person's social standing. I have different uniforms I where in different situations, so that I can fit in with whatever tribe is dominant. The way I shave and how I wear my hair makes a difference too. You'd be surprised how well I get treated when I wear a suit! Guess how I get treated by strangers when I wear my street clothes, which are as cheap as possible and deliberately meant to make me appear working class? Perfume and deodorant are good too.

I don't know about anybody else but an ugly girl who dresses well immediately gets my attention. I immediately think she have something to offer. It says something positive about their personality. A good looking person with poor hygiene, for me, looks like something is wrong with them mentally (like they don't care or maybe they are depressed or have poor self-esteem).



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Mar 2014, 4:59 am

Eureka13 wrote:
Tell me about it. My employers keep hiring large-busted bombshells for the admin positions here, and then they show cleavage, bat their eyelashes, and wheedle their way out of actually doing the work. Since I'm the only other woman in the department, although I'm engineering staff, all the admin work that the barbie dolls are too special to do gets dumped on me, even though there are men of lower rank than me in the same department.



Obviously most recruiters/bosses are men thinking with their dicks.

Ah yes, revealing cleavage is a must-have especially for secretary and receptionist positions :lol: - from what I've seen, only doctors' secretaries don't fit this description, I dunno why but probably because doctors are less likely to care about looks?

I am noticing a growing trend of specifying the gender on local and Arab job boards (there's no law that forbids this) and what's more disturbing that they are demanding females for non-front and non-sales positions ; the other day I came across a vacancy for "Female Accountant" - whoaaa! What difference the gender makes for an accountant job?? What's their excuse this time? I bet the boss wants her to be hot otherwise he wouldn't specify the gender.


Quote:
NB: If I wanted to play off my looks, I could (although I might have to get implants :P ), but since I am a woman working in a traditionally male field, I refuse to "take advantage of the system" as a "minority." Or use sex to get ahead in the workplace. Bottom line, the barbie girls may get off easy, workload-wise, and otherwise get special treatment, but they'll always be viewed as decoration rather than valuable workers and will never get ahead, career-wise.


They don't care to get ahead, those are rarely that ambitious, they marry a good earner man and often quit after first child.



leafplant
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26 Mar 2014, 1:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Eureka13 wrote:
Tell me about it. My employers keep hiring large-busted bombshells for the admin positions here, and then they show cleavage, bat their eyelashes, and wheedle their way out of actually doing the work. Since I'm the only other woman in the department, although I'm engineering staff, all the admin work that the barbie dolls are too special to do gets dumped on me, even though there are men of lower rank than me in the same department.



Obviously most recruiters/bosses are men thinking with their dicks.

Ah yes, revealing cleavage is a must-have especially for secretary and receptionist positions :lol: - from what I've seen, only doctors' secretaries don't fit this description, I dunno why but probably because doctors are less likely to care about looks?

I am noticing a growing trend of specifying the gender on local and Arab job boards (there's no law that forbids this) and what's more disturbing that they are demanding females for non-front and non-sales positions ; the other day I came across a vacancy for "Female Accountant" - whoaaa! What difference the gender makes for an accountant job?? What's their excuse this time? I bet the boss wants her to be hot otherwise he wouldn't specify the gender.


Quote:
NB: If I wanted to play off my looks, I could (although I might have to get implants :P ), but since I am a woman working in a traditionally male field, I refuse to "take advantage of the system" as a "minority." Or use sex to get ahead in the workplace. Bottom line, the barbie girls may get off easy, workload-wise, and otherwise get special treatment, but they'll always be viewed as decoration rather than valuable workers and will never get ahead, career-wise.


They don't care to get ahead, those are rarely that ambitious, they marry a good earner man and often quit after first child.


You two (Eureka13 and Face of Boo) need to imagine me giving you "The Look", including the raised eyebrow that suggests you should stand in the corner and think long and hard about what you've just done.

Love,

Barbie-plant



Geekonychus
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26 Mar 2014, 2:22 pm

It can be hard at times being this good looking.........

Especially with all the Boos leering lustfully at me........with their faces........



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Mar 2014, 3:03 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
It can be hard at times being this good looking.........

Especially with all the Boos leering lustfully at me........with their faces........


*Drooling* Oh Geeko....bring on the tissues.



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Mar 2014, 3:04 pm

leafplant wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Eureka13 wrote:
Tell me about it. My employers keep hiring large-busted bombshells for the admin positions here, and then they show cleavage, bat their eyelashes, and wheedle their way out of actually doing the work. Since I'm the only other woman in the department, although I'm engineering staff, all the admin work that the barbie dolls are too special to do gets dumped on me, even though there are men of lower rank than me in the same department.



Obviously most recruiters/bosses are men thinking with their dicks.

Ah yes, revealing cleavage is a must-have especially for secretary and receptionist positions :lol: - from what I've seen, only doctors' secretaries don't fit this description, I dunno why but probably because doctors are less likely to care about looks?

I am noticing a growing trend of specifying the gender on local and Arab job boards (there's no law that forbids this) and what's more disturbing that they are demanding females for non-front and non-sales positions ; the other day I came across a vacancy for "Female Accountant" - whoaaa! What difference the gender makes for an accountant job?? What's their excuse this time? I bet the boss wants her to be hot otherwise he wouldn't specify the gender.


Quote:
NB: If I wanted to play off my looks, I could (although I might have to get implants :P ), but since I am a woman working in a traditionally male field, I refuse to "take advantage of the system" as a "minority." Or use sex to get ahead in the workplace. Bottom line, the barbie girls may get off easy, workload-wise, and otherwise get special treatment, but they'll always be viewed as decoration rather than valuable workers and will never get ahead, career-wise.


They don't care to get ahead, those are rarely that ambitious, they marry a good earner man and often quit after first child.


You two (Eureka13 and Face of Boo) need to imagine me giving you "The Look", including the raised eyebrow that suggests you should stand in the corner and think long and hard about what you've just done.

Love,

Barbie-plant


You're a bombshell?



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26 Mar 2014, 3:26 pm

I can get pretty turned on by myself I have to admit



Eureka13
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26 Mar 2014, 3:31 pm

Sorry, but women who perpetuate the chauvinistic mindset that women are only good for decoration really piss me off! So, yeah, I'm gonna bust on them.

I've got no problem with anyone dressing however it suits them to dress on their own time, but I do have a strong preference for dressing at least somewhat appropriately for the workplace.

BTW, these women I'm bitching about show up to work at a place where they may be called upon to go out into the field, or be on their feet half the day, or represent the organization at a public meeting, and they show up in 6" spike heels, micro-mini-skirts, and/or pants too tight to sit down in. And then get out of the work they're supposed to be doing because of the way they're dressed. I think that could be considered "inappropriate for the workplace."



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26 Mar 2014, 9:33 pm

I don't know about everyone else but these huge accounts of people going from 0/10 to 10/10 smacks of arrogance to me :roll:. Not only that but one in particular the change isn't particularly brilliant...


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27 Mar 2014, 5:43 am

^ They didn't sound arrogant at all. They sounded bit cynical about how people care too much about looks, and they're right.

I lived this experience too! Well not from 0 to 10 but more like 0 to 5 or 6 in looks and 0 to 3/4 in self image, confidence and socialization, yet the difference in people's reactions is huge.