LuckyBunny wrote:
diniesaur wrote:
I STRONGLY recommend that you break up with her, at least until she's gotten over that.
Addiction to marijuana is real--I mean, em_tsuj posted from experience.
The question I have is this:
Is it really conducive to overcoming the addiction to actually remove oneself as a possible source of emotional and practical support? I understand that it would be a severe threat to the relationship to continue, but a severe threat is not necessarily a killer blow. Getting through it together would strengthen the relationship, while abandoning the relationship and forcing her to go it alone might end up with the situation being worse on all fronts. It may 'wake her up' and make her realise something really big is wrong, but I've never really been a fan of using relationships as bargaining chips like that. Why gamble the good for a 50/50 chance of eliminating the bad, when you could appeal to logic to make her realise she has a problem, and then work it through as a radically strengthened couple?
Just because you're not dating someone doesn't mean you can't be helpful and supportive. On the other hand, staying with this person AND being a "tower" to cling onto is a bad idea because it makes for a really unhealthy relationship. I'm kind of obsessive about the healthiness of relationships but it's for good reason. This person needs to not become emotionally dependent on the OP, and it's not healthy or fair to the OP to be in the position of boyfriend AND addiction support. Yes, in the short run, it can be painful to her, but in the long run it's a LOT healthier for both of them.
Breaking up isn't using the relationship as a bargaining chip. It's protecting both of them from an unhealthy relationship. As for the "50/50 chance of eliminating the bad," if this DOESN'T end up going away, it's even more important for both of them to get out of that relationship. At least breaking up protects them either way from a dangerously unhealthy relationship.
22 May 2014, 6:53 am
