Folks, I'm stuck

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I guess what it comes down to is that I don't have enough self-confidence to allow myself to fail at approaching women and somehow learn. I'd rather leave if someone I have a crush on enters the room rather than open my mouth and advertise how socially lagged I am. I have a hard enough time forgiving myself for social faux pas as it is.

No, reality is nothing but perception.

That's what you have to change.
I would also recommend you go on a medication for anxiety.

I'm offended you would suggest I go on medication and I can't figure why.

Do I really exist or do I perceive myself to exist?

Err.. ok..
There's nothing bad about being on medication. I cope with social anxiety a lot better on an anti anxiety medication.

You perceive yourself to exist.

^^ That's way too spiritual way of thinking, but no, you exist, wouldn't a tiger attacks you if he's put in the same room? So you exist, until he makes you his dinner.

No. Human perception doesn't mean it's reality. It simply means it's your reality.

Are you talking about reality (and reality of what?) or existence?

Reality is reality. If a person has cancer, no amount of believing will change that.
Same as me thinking an object has great value when everyone else thinks it's worthless doesn't make it of great value. I value my ipod but society says its an older model and worthless.

I value myself and thought I was worthwhile due to my traits and personality. the reality is society says I'm worthless. Since I alone can not change society's value system, I have to accept it. The reality of which is a negative hit to my self esteem and result of depression. This of course made worst by the increased likeliness of depression that seems to come from one disorder or another.

what you're saying sounds like I i believe I am a cat then I will become a cat. That logic is just crazy. So until the logic and reality of our world changes and being as I want to live in it. I must accept the rule of society's judgment of worth.

Currently I'm worthless. My long term problem is that even I I ever get a good enough job, home, car, body. I don't think even then I'd Feel worth. I'm working to get a min wage job but I don't feel that would be good enough to women. they don't go into detail on their requirements of job, car, house, attractive. or the more vague (have you're **** together) So I don't know why I bother to find work, its currently 70% more likely to make my life worst and 30% to make it better. I not even sure If the damage to my self esteem can be undone.

I'm even more freaked that i'm aware of the issue, its a disturbing mindset . self esteem and confidence are built on experience. It would seem that to increase them good experience is needed. Just reading profiles and ads makes me depressed and feel worthless. I suspect I would do better in some kind singles group or speed dating. Though I suspect the people who post the list of requirements would have that same list in person just unspoken until further involved. Since those people online are real people in person unless they post such requirements only cause they feel being alone allows them to be more judgmental then in person. yeah a run on sentence but meh.

so similar place as the op.

Some people just don't get it.

If society says you're worthless, it's society's perception.

Some people who society says are worthless actually think they're wonderful, and when they have a knock back, they blame other people, because they think they're great. This allows them to have knock back after knock back without falling, and eventually they get a girlfriend.

This is the same reason "alpha" males don't get upset when they get rejected. And believe me, they do. Instead of falling over, they wobble a bit then keep trying.

People who care about society's opinion more than trying to work on their opinion of themselves fall over every time, and eventually give up.

The society's perception is a reality too.

Yeah, I have an idea. Date.

You're going to fail a few times, so what? You have to learn by trial and error. You don't just wake up one morning and have all the answers to social skills and women. It's the only way to build self esteem towards it.

Only to them.

Think about it. Socipaths do pretty well. They don't think they're f****d in the head. Everyone else does, but they don't care. In their reality, they are amazing.

I know of an aspie sociopath who fits this description.

You know in a weird way when I think this through I actually accept what you're saying. It actually makes sort of sense. I will meditate on this further. I've wondered what if the "real world" is the "real world" because people accept it as the "real world?" In that sense, what if perception does help to shape the reality?

What if I chose to reject this paradigm and create my own "real world" Why do I have to accept the paradigm of what society says. Maybe it is time to "Question Authority" and "Think for yourself" instead of being defined by constructs put forth by someone else who has an agenda. Hale_Bopp, you make sense.