Does he actually know what these words mean? ASD individuals often pick up social behaviors from other people, and perhaps he once either knew someone, saw a show, or listened to music, etc., that led him to latch on to the language as a way of expressing himself. Because ASD individuals can also be impulsive, even though he may have since learned they are not the best method, he may continue to default to them. My son dropped those words really fast when he learned what they meant.
I know he is your boyfriend and not someone you can boss around, but if you can both agree this is a pattern that should be stopped, then I would initiate a zero-tolerance / consequences type policy towards it: any time he starts talking like that, your time together that day is over. That gives him incentive to see the patterns leading up to the reflexive behavior, and to learn how to stop them. He should be capable of controlling the behavior given the overall life situation he has been able to achieve, so force him to. Things like this are hard work for ASD individuals, and he isn't going to do that work unless he sees a good reason. Perhaps he thinks it is too hard - reactions like "I don't care if I get hurt" can be defensive for things someone sees as outside of their control - so maybe you need to help him understand the patterns that lead into the behavior; that is a fair role for you to play (IMHO*), but he still needs the incentive to do the work.
If he says he really cannot control it, I would ask him to look into an evaluation for tourrettes (sp?).
(* I can really see whoever my son ends up with having to sometimes simply act more like a parent. Sometimes that is just what he needs; it isn't insulting to give someone what they need; that is what partner's do. You both want to be able to help each other become your best selves, whatever that takes)
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
Last edited by DW_a_mom on 07 Jul 2014, 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.