Banned from POF

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I agree that bringing up sex after only meeting her once was way too soon...particularly in the way that you brought it up

Holy crap! How *can* you discuss sex these days without being labeled a creep?

Seriously, I've been grappling with this one myself for years.

(And FYI, lambskin condoms don't work anyway)

POF seems very biased against men in a lot of ways.

When I was working on movie sets 18 hours a day, most of my recent pictures of myself were shot at work. I was contractually obligated not to post pictures taken on set publicly, so I had one good headshot public and a few candid shots kept private.

I was chatting with a woman, things seemed to be going well, but POF blocked the sending of my private images and she got the idea that I was trying to mislead her about what I looked like or something. I sent the images by email, but she was already paranoid.

POF decided men can't send private pictures because we would only use them to show penises. In my opinion this was an incredibly discriminatory decision, my pictures were all clean. I complained, but they just didn't get it. It was like arguing with a racist that thinks he's not racist because he actually believes he's superior.

Some women look way to hard for "red flags." When something they see as odd occurs they imagine there is some perverse hidden meaning behind it. NTs usually don't say what they mean, they assume everything is "just the tip of the iceberg." They say they want someone honest and direct, but they don't even know what honest and direct looks like. Combine that with the NTs' unhealthy fixation with stories of sexual predators and we get accused of things we couldn't even imagine.

By the way, it's not available in North America yet, but google "vasalgel." It's a male contraceptive injection. Probably won't get approved for another decade or so, but it's interesting reading.

No big deal to you.

A sexually transmitted disease or unwanted pregnancy just might be a concern of hers. What are you thinking man? Are you even thinking past scoring?

What exactly was it that you said? Because clearly there was something.

The antibiotics/birth control thing isn't true anymore; and yes, many women have trouble with hormonal birth control.

Also, the problem you're having with latex condoms may not be latex; it could be sensitivity to nonoxynol-9, the spermicide, which is a detergent. Try condoms that don't use that for lubrication and see how it goes.

StrangeG, a ridiculous number of men do send penis shots. And my guess is POF doesn't employ a fulltime photo-screening staff to make sure only non-penis shots get through. Hence: no photos. You'll have to take it up with your penis-shot-sending brethren.

On OKC, the female-posted nude photos were also reported and deleted. I suspect it was the same on POF, and that any of the photos on either site, male or female, had to be complained about before they went to moderation. My understanding of both of the sites is that inappropriate profiles and privately-sent photos were moderated by the administrators of each site, not the members. My takeaway from the experience was that pretty much anything that received a complaint went to moderation of some type, and was deleted if there was any question whatsoever as to its appropriateness. Copyright violations were sufficient reason for deletion, as well as nudity.

The problem was that I was in no way violating their policies. If they actually did a review of my account, they would have seen that. They have a policy against anything sexual in the first message you send, but this was like at least the 100th, and she brought the subject up first. We had been talking on pof and the phone for about two weeks.

Actually, strangeG, that's basically a guy's thing to do on dating sites, the junk shot. Women aren't so into it.

I don't post photos of myself on dating sites, but if some vast number of women on a private dating site were sending crotch shots and the site admin said, "OK! Enough, no more private-photo sending from women" I'd totally understand it. My guess is the only reason they didn't make it equal-opportunity is that they'd lose huge numbers of men if the men couldn't get the women to send pix.

Sorry, StrangeG, but the harassment scale's tipped pretty heavily to the men's side on dating sites. You should read one of those pieces written by guys who totally didn't believe this and then made up a generic woman's profile, went on pretending to be a woman, and were so shocked and freaked out by what they were subjected to that they shut down their experiments early. It does suck for decent guys, but this is one reason why men have to stop standing on the sidelines when it comes to fighting harassment of women and misogyny.