What is your preferred way to meet someone?

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Joined: 28 Jan 2011
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14 Aug 2014, 3:26 pm

In principle I'd say I'd like to meet people through friends or just through everyday life. But I'm gay so I don't get the opportunity to meet many...compatible...guys through my daily routine. And I feel too awkward to ask friends if there's anyone they know that they think I'd get on well with. I have actually met someone at work/university that I'm interested in recently and I did get up the nerve to ask him out for coffee, but that was just before he was taking three weeks of vacation. We'll see if he actually is interested when he gets back... Mind you, he might not even have realized I was asking him on a date.

I have met several people through online dating sites previously. The best ones were simply disappointing. As for the other ones--well, there are several stories with that.

Shebakoby
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14 Aug 2014, 7:49 pm

I've never actually met anyone anywhere in that capacity.

My dear old grandma, bless her heart, introduced me to one of the male nurses about 17 years ago. It never went anywhere past "hi how are you" but to be fair I'm pretty sure the guy was batting for the other team anyway. I don't think "gaydar" was something my grandma possessed.

Halfmadgenius
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18 Aug 2014, 11:19 pm

I have neither friends nor coworkers. And the internet dating is coming up short on guys who actually want to meet. :cry: I'm lonely.

autismthinker21
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19 Aug 2014, 12:34 am

BioBird wrote:

I've tried online dating, but the initial messaging parts of it tend to stress me out, and I quite often would ask people out on the same day of first contact just to avoid text-based communication, for the most part. I find it's /far/ easier for me to understand and be comfortable with communications face-to-face, mostly so that I can read their posture, tonalities, and facial expressions and react+reciprocate to them in real time. Also, a lot of the better parts of my personality are almost completely lost when I'm not communicating IRL with someone.
Truthfully, online dating has consistently not worked at all for me (though I may try it again for practice), and so therefore my most favored way of "meeting people" would be through school related things. I find that relations can progress favorably with a familiar and shared distraction such as schoolwork and classes. However, I also have a strict "no dating classmates during the semester" policy, sooo I basically have no way to meet people I'm even remotely interested in, right now. hahah I'll probably just have to try out the online dating scene, again! Not too many interesting or intelligent people on there, but it's better than staying stagnant within the socializing world. Gotta keep up that practice

i am sorry what? am i speaking in alien language saying your better with postures in real life, but the online dating is a practice for you. what the??? whoa. i am starting to see something odd with type of communication from you.

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Virgofall
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20 Aug 2014, 4:28 pm

I can't actually say I have a "preferred" method. What I do know is that all of my relationships were online and we initially met via a common interest (though the first was via another friend, and the other two I met on the common interest at that point, an MMORPG). I note that none of them, I ever (initially) saw in terms of an actual romantic relationship. So perhaps I'm a bit different when compared to others.

nick007
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21 Aug 2014, 3:33 pm

Posting alot in message boards is the only thing that has ever worked for me.

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Belfast
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21 Aug 2014, 8:54 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:

I have neither friends nor coworkers. And the internet dating is coming up short on guys who actually want to meet. :cry:

I'm lonely.

^ I relate/sympathize.
Since I have no workplace, I have neither colleagues nor people I'd meet randomly as result.
Have one friend in town & she doesn't know anyone remotely suitable/compatible for me.

As a homebody/agoraphobe, telling me to "just go out & you'll meet people" isn't a strategy I can implement.
When I do an errand, it's not like I'm skilled or charismatic enough to make small talk with strangers at grocery store, let alone develop that into more with some select individual.
I don't have the quick wit for whatever unpredictable situation will invite comment, nor can I rapidly assess whether this or that person is safe & interesting to suddenly make chitchat with.

So I don't know if I even have a preferred method of meeting new people, because I don't have much for choices, and which ones I have aren't terribly effective.

I met my (now ex) husband through us both calling in to a midnight radio show on college station (for several months), 20 yrs. ago.
I met my long-term (now ex) bf through my ex-husband, bc. they were friends & co-workers, he introduced us.
No way to parlay those past methods into charming and enticing unknown people (who have no existing familiarity with me, either).

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autismthinker21
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23 Aug 2014, 5:19 pm

dating in this century suck ass period and meeting people now is so dumb. i used to be better off years ago. but now it's stupid. texting is the worst part of messaging someone. humans expect to much for dating and it doesn't come pretty anymore. where was the old way of feelings being expressed on a date? doesn't that count to. doesn't your partner need to know how you feel about things and understand your emotional habits along with honesty?

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