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Insight into Aspie dating behavior...

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Jono
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08 Sep 2014, 2:58 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
So don't just sit at home mooning for him. Go out and enjoy yourself. Why do you need to see him every weekend anyway?


Quote:
Also, it is not a dating requirement at the beginning, but if dating becomes a more serious relationship, then it is for the vast majority of people.


But you're not dating the vast majority of people. You're dating him. It's yours and his relationship, you and he make up your own rules.

If you want to know his plans for the weekend and he hasn't told you, I'd suggest asking.


Because if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you want to see them on a regular basis. You can't sustain a relationship if you only see them 3 times a year, for example. The other person feels like they might as well be single if they don't see them often enough. The issue is that aspies usually want more alone time than NT's but you still need to see your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis in order to have a relationship with them. That's why long-distance relationships usually don't work out.



sly279
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09 Sep 2014, 1:24 am

Jono wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
So don't just sit at home mooning for him. Go out and enjoy yourself. Why do you need to see him every weekend anyway?


Quote:
Also, it is not a dating requirement at the beginning, but if dating becomes a more serious relationship, then it is for the vast majority of people.


But you're not dating the vast majority of people. You're dating him. It's yours and his relationship, you and he make up your own rules.

If you want to know his plans for the weekend and he hasn't told you, I'd suggest asking.


Because if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you want to see them on a regular basis. You can't sustain a relationship if you only see them 3 times a year, for example. The other person feels like they might as well be single if they don't see them often enough. The issue is that aspies usually want more alone time than NT's but you still need to see your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis in order to have a relationship with them. That's why long-distance relationships usually don't work out.


I was always told such behavior is clingy. that people need space be it only talking every 3 days or weeks in between. this advice usually came from women. I strive to become ok with biweekly contact even though I would prefer daily.



Who_Am_I
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09 Sep 2014, 3:51 am

Jono wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
So don't just sit at home mooning for him. Go out and enjoy yourself. Why do you need to see him every weekend anyway?


Quote:
Also, it is not a dating requirement at the beginning, but if dating becomes a more serious relationship, then it is for the vast majority of people.


But you're not dating the vast majority of people. You're dating him. It's yours and his relationship, you and he make up your own rules.

If you want to know his plans for the weekend and he hasn't told you, I'd suggest asking.


Because if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you want to see them on a regular basis. You can't sustain a relationship if you only see them 3 times a year, for example. The other person feels like they might as well be single if they don't see them often enough. The issue is that aspies usually want more alone time than NT's but you still need to see your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis in order to have a relationship with them. That's why long-distance relationships usually don't work out.


There is a middle ground between "every weekend" and "only 3 times per year".


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