Minnow wrote:
Thanks again to those who have responded.
Your compassion and support at this very difficult time has given me hope. My partner is now completely stuck in believing that I cause him to be violent. After threatening to slit my 80 year old Mother's throat (she lives one house away and she has done/said nothing to him) it is clear that this has nothing to do with ASD and is an outcome of the abuse he experienced as a child by his mother & the emotional neglect & lack of protection from his father.
He has moved out which hopefully reduces the risk of harm to our children and myself. He wants 50% care of the children and I am very committed to his right and that of the kids to be with their Dad. However, he doesn't seem to recognize that it is abuse of the children (vicarious or not) when he abuses me verbally in front of them and he doesn't even seem to hear or acknowledge their distress. He is now starting to use them against me and that is a "game" you can't play with children.
I feel for him and I love him and I am so afraid for our beautiful children.
It helps to be able to express myself here as there is only so much you can say to family and friends without causing distress to them.
I know no-one can solve our problems but helps to know there are compassionate strangers out there. I have always believed that neuro-diverse people have heaps of empathy (sometimes expressed differently) and you have shared that with me.
He sounds like he has other issues more serious than ASD and this most certainly has nothing to do with that. Physical assault is not acceptable, threatening someones life is not acceptable. I know that it's natural to want to help him but at this point, you need to look after your own safety and that of your children. I would be worried about your safety as well as your children's safety around him and I wouldn't leave him alone with the children. I don't think that there's a lot that you can do for him.
12 Oct 2014, 1:28 pm
