People looking at each other.

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yellowtamarin
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01 Nov 2014, 7:58 pm

arielhawksquill wrote:
I'm curious what the OP thought was happening in these pictures.

They look like flirting, but done by actors of course. However, I myself have looked this way at people in the past. Perhaps there is a *slight* difference due to these scenarios not being natural.

I call this "the look". It has worked numerous times for me in indicating interest in a man. I was curious if it would not work on aspies who say they have trouble reading facial expressions (and can't tell if someone is interested). So far only one person has responded to indicate that they wouldn't have a clue what the expression means. Most seem to feel fairly confident that there is some kind of flirtation involved.

Of course you have to actually look a women in the eyes to know if she is looking back at you like this, so that could be another issue for aspies who struggle to know if women are interested in them.



Stargazer43
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01 Nov 2014, 8:45 pm

It is far different in a picture vs. in person also. In a picture, people are locked in the pose, and you have all the time in the world to look at their expression and analyze it, and their expression is fixed - it doesn't change. In the real world, most people would only hold those expressions for maybe a second or two at most, and be very subtle about it. I find that when I see pictures or videos of people indicating all sorts of nonverbal signals, I can pick them up with ease. But translating to real life, there's always too much going on for me to really notice them, unless I'm consciously scanning for a specific signal.



sly279
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02 Nov 2014, 1:03 am

first two seem interested in each other. 3rd just looks happy.

its also easier to see when two people are interested in each other as a 3rd party rather than if people are interested in me.

ie both making similar looks vs one looking which could mean many things.



rdos
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02 Nov 2014, 4:55 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
arielhawksquill wrote:
I'm curious what the OP thought was happening in these pictures.

They look like flirting, but done by actors of course. However, I myself have looked this way at people in the past. Perhaps there is a *slight* difference due to these scenarios not being natural.

I call this "the look". It has worked numerous times for me in indicating interest in a man. I was curious if it would not work on aspies who say they have trouble reading facial expressions (and can't tell if someone is interested). So far only one person has responded to indicate that they wouldn't have a clue what the expression means. Most seem to feel fairly confident that there is some kind of flirtation involved.


The first one is the best one (and probably most neurodiverse-related), as the woman actually is not turned towards the male, but instead turns her head towards him. The last one looks a lot more NT and I don't react naturally on that one (but I still know it is flirting).

yellowtamarin wrote:
Of course you have to actually look a women in the eyes to know if she is looking back at you like this, so that could be another issue for aspies who struggle to know if women are interested in them.


It could be an issue with stranger women. The eye contact issue in neurodiversity is dependent on if somebody likes a person or nor. Neurodiverse people tend to have too little eye contact with strangers and people they don't like, and too much eye contact with people they like (or are in love with).



yellowtamarin
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02 Nov 2014, 5:03 am

Stargazer43 wrote:
It is far different in a picture vs. in person also. In a picture, people are locked in the pose, and you have all the time in the world to look at their expression and analyze it, and their expression is fixed - it doesn't change. In the real world, most people would only hold those expressions for maybe a second or two at most, and be very subtle about it. I find that when I see pictures or videos of people indicating all sorts of nonverbal signals, I can pick them up with ease. But translating to real life, there's always too much going on for me to really notice them, unless I'm consciously scanning for a specific signal.

Yes, that's fair, the people responding here may be taking their time to figure it out rather than recognising it straight away.

In the real world, I would hold the expression until he smiles back at me (a second or two). Then there's a mutual understanding. Or if he looks away or looks at me blankly I'll get the message that he's not interested (or didn't pick up on my interest). This is a thing that occurs most often in scenarios/locations where flirting is expected, such as bars and clubs, by the way. It would be much less reliable in everyday settings.



rdos
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02 Nov 2014, 5:52 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
In the real world, I would hold the expression until he smiles back at me (a second or two). Then there's a mutual understanding. Or if he looks away or looks at me blankly I'll get the message that he's not interested (or didn't pick up on my interest).


That would fail with me. :-) I'd never smile back at you, rather if our eyes happened to meet I'd look away. Then I'd look your way again some time later, and observe if you also looked my way. If you didn't look my way several times I'd assume you had no interest.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Nov 2014, 6:17 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
arielhawksquill wrote:
I'm curious what the OP thought was happening in these pictures.

They look like flirting, but done by actors of course. However, I myself have looked this way at people in the past. Perhaps there is a *slight* difference due to these scenarios not being natural.

I call this "the look". It has worked numerous times for me in indicating interest in a man. I was curious if it would not work on aspies who say they have trouble reading facial expressions (and can't tell if someone is interested). So far only one person has responded to indicate that they wouldn't have a clue what the expression means. Most seem to feel fairly confident that there is some kind of flirtation involved.

Of course you have to actually look a women in the eyes to know if she is looking back at you like this, so that could be another issue for aspies who struggle to know if women are interested in them.


You're giving reading body too much importance; and that's what you are not getting:

Most guys here are chronically single not because of their inability to read women; but because they are... very non desirable for whatever reason.