more women then men have jobs?

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first whats a propper job? as it seems to some that might be consider only something that makes over 22 an hour and etc. while others might consider a paper route one.

I'ved only had seasonal jobs. one that was all summer for 3 years and then this one working busy times at the college store. I fell into that nonsense that I had to go to college and that somehow a degree would guarantee you a job. it doesn't. it just guarantees you debt. tried anf failed to find work for the year I was out of college. so yeah not 6 weeks, but I'm a aspie so I have gone to voc rehab who has spent the last 5 months slowly progressing and training me for security. though seems they have no hopes of me doing that cause I couldn't do one temp job that was super dangerous and nothing to do with security. so no I have to go fight them about it.

seems there'd be far less trouble for me if I did just coast on welfare which I very well can do. but none of this matters to women it seems.

I've done far more than other people I know. yet I feel I get compared to nts who go and spend every secon walking around hounding shops for jobs, yet they too are also jobless still. I'd rather of been allowed to serve in the military and die, probably all I'm good for really since I tend to be slower then nts, and have a hard time with sounds, touch, anxiety

There are no unemployed women, just homemakers and women misdiagnosed with CFS.

Wait, people actually tell the truth on dating sites? Be still my heart~

The job market has been kind of awful. There are a lot of people without jobs, male and female both. I don't know the statistics, but it doesn't matter terribly much because the job market seems to be bouncing back. Hooray! So I'd hope that a lot of people will be getting jobs in the near future.^^

As to why a lady who works at McDonalds would want to date a guy with a higher paying salary~ people usually try to marry up. I don't quite understand the phenomenon, but the goal is to get a spouse that is a higher or the same social standing as you are. Higher is always preferred, of course. It isn't easy for anybody to jump up the ladder like that. Guys have to be financially super lucky. Girls have to be models, or also financially super lucky. I wouldn't suggest you worry about these people, Sly. They're really not worth bothering with.

I'm not sure what a proper job is. I'd assume one that pays? Possibly one that has benefits? I don't really care terribly much about whether or not people have careers or not. His job doesn't really factor into the equation for me (unless he is a doctor. who tells me doctor stories. which is not okay) because I'm quite confident in my ability to financially care for myself. I'd be a bit iffy dating a guy who'd never had any sort of job, or financial responsibility, but that's just because if it goes past dating then I'd have to teach him that stuff, and... really I'm not that great a teacher.

I do, some others do too at least.

sadly they seem to make up the majority if not all of women in my area. people say don't generalize but its hard when 9/10 ads/profiles one sees say the same or similar things are required. so like if you did a poll and found 51% like Z. the people would preclaim the majority of people like Z(polls and media often do this) so how is it wrong with 90% say you need ____, to say most women won't date a guy who doesn't have ____. anyways. um yeah it seems the majority do, so not sure how to avoid them. O.o

seems to be more about how much per hour one is paid. 22 and up is considerd good/decent it seems. which makes it hard cause the median house income is 19 an hour here and that is house not per person, house could have 2-5 working people living in it, but lets say based on 2 being the parents/couples. so each person is making like 9-10 an hour. 9.20 is about to be the min wage here. so if most people here only make min wage or a bit above it. I don't get how they find it fair to expect me to make the income of most houses here. already getting paid like 3-4 dollars an hour more than a lot of other people in this nation. 19 an hour seems to be near the upper level of pay for a lot of jobs here. haven't met too many people making more than 20. security could pay from 9.21 -17, 19 ish eventually , though going have to fight voc rehab on it apparently.

depressing to have to worry and panic about such things I don't care about. i'd be happy making $10 an hour instead I'm worrying about finding a better paying job and one that will pay more eventually. ugh

I've had jobs, and I am a bit cheap/saver, I have debt from when I was 18 and new to having any money, If I was in the mindset I am now when I was 18 I'd likely have no debt besides my school loans. should be a law preventing 18 year old autistic people from getting credit cards. I made mistakes I wouldn't now, plus technology is better(online bill payments)

I have used them as well. And they totally work. He is saying this because he's trying as hard as he can to act like an "alpha" male and put himself above everyone else here. I wouldn't take his posts in this forum too seriously.


The big reason that not too many women are willing to support their man is because many, many women want the option of taking time off to have babies and they need a breadwinner while they're on maternity leave.

A real job (for an adult, who has completed their education) is one that allows them to live independently, save a bit for the future and have a hobby or two they enjoy (and have the means to participate in).

I've no idea where you live or what you studied in college that left you in debt and without the skills needed to land a decent job after graduation... but, ummm, I went to both college (in state) and grad school (out of state scholarship) on scholarships, plus worked summers (as an undergrad) and as an RA/TA (in grad school), so graduated with no debt.

$22/hr works out to something like $45k/year... that seems like a reasonable threshold to be considered a "proper" job. Landing a position in that range is a reasonable (and not terribly difficult to obtain) goal, even without a degree.

Sanitation workers earn at least that! And, heck, my occasionally on-the-chocolate-teapot-end-of-the-competency-scale summer interns (19-20 yo undergrads!) got paid way more than that --$5k/month (for pretty much all big Houston-based oil companies last summer), which world out to just over $31/hr.

That's a reasonable definition of a proper job and what it provides.

As for wages.. as with real estate, it's location location location.. in some regions it's very difficult to find a job that pays $45k+ for most of the working class. It's possible, just not very probable in an area where most people make just above minimum wage. It can be difficult even in big wealthy cities like the one I live in the suburbs of - we have about the highest cost of living in the country, and also about the lowest wages. So, sometimes making a living/fair/decent/proper wage is easier said than done.

However, it's also about mindset. During times I was extremely depressed a few years ago getting ANY job at any pay rate was simply impossible. Now? Nah, I can get a job, and have one, and have turned down others. I don't make great money right now, but I know I will make better money as time goes on & eventually I'll make good money. But yeah, one's own mindset and any limiting beliefs definitely influence one's earning capacity. I'm still living in the same place where it was once impossible for me to get a minimum wage job, but over the last couple years have earned ~2-3 times that & know that in the future I can do much better.

Still, for the vast majority of the working class it's difficult to find really truly decent living wage paying jobs here due to how expensive it is to live here & the lack of high paying jobs compared to oil rich cities in other parts of the country. So yeah, location location location definitely influences things. (But also mindset, as I'm sure there are happier healthier people in sly279's area earning more than $22/hr.)

The folks who live in places with low salaries and high living costs presumably have the option of moving someplace else (lower living costs, higher salaries) or improving the skills (to obtain a better paying job in their expensive area).

And I got paid waaaaay more than minimum wage in junior high and high school -- babysitting on retainer. My on retainer sitter (he's a kid who lives down the street) gets $22/hr, 4 hr minimum, every Saturday night, whether I need him to work or not.

Have you considered getting a job as like a waiter while you look for something better? You can make a pretty good amount on tips if you're good. You could even try something like retail - retail usually pays ~$10-15 an hr, and it's usually easy to get a job in it and it's a steady income. They're certainly not the most enjoyable jobs, but we all have to do a little grunt work now and then.

I'm confused here. Why does it matter the exact amount you make? I'd think simply having a job would look good on a dating profile. And, really, it'd be weird to tell prospective dates exactly how much you make an hour, because until you're about to move in together or get married, it's none of their business. So why should it matter? If the exact amount is in your profile, take it out. If she asks how much you make an hour before really getting to know you then that...that's just weird. I'm not sure why this is a problem. Do girls seriously put *must make at least 45$ an hour to date me, labels? I've never tried online dating, so I don't know what the profiles usually put in them, but that just seems...shallow.

most jobs here pay $10 an hour which is less then 1 dollar over min wage here. very very few job offers for over 19 an hour. people here don't' value labor so try to pay as least as possible its why my auto teach quit and moved to texas where he gets 25-30 an hour.

I like alot of people got a degree in a job they can't perform, lots of others get degrees that don't lead to jobs or lead to few jobs. think 100 degrees per year, only 2 jobs for that degree each year.

jobs that do pay 19 ish are super hard to get and often given to friend/family. most jobs are hired based on if you know /related to the boss. its how I and just about everyone at the store got hired it seems.

as for moving first you'd need a job to save to move. I can't get any job. as a aspie I have trouble socializing and none of my friends became bosses.

gold, teachers at my college told me over and over that our state and county don't pay good, if you want to make a good money you have to go out of state. suggesting texas, montana, alaska etc. people want stuff fast and cheap.
they want a 10 dollar oil change in under 10 mins with a inspection. when oil cost about 10 and inspection takes longer then 10 mins how do you pay the guy 19 an hour? shops take a loss and pay the guy 9 an hour and try to find work that cost a lot more on the car. same goes for other fields here.

I was starting to get hopeful about getting work in security but voc rehab/job developer have apparently given up on that and switched to other things. apparently quit one non security job that I couldn't do and they gave up. how can I have hope when those who are paid to have hope or fake hop in me don't. think I'm going try to get my info that put together and try applying to security jobs myself next week.

security is one of the higher paying jobs in my area. think about that.

judged by the woman or me?

my hobbies/life style isn't expensive. I find most women really want a guy to live/support their life style. other wise you should be ok with aguy who makes 5 an hour rents a appartment and builds models. as he would meet those requirements.
much as mostly I meet them in my own way.

First of all, moving to a new place where there is a lower cost of living and/or more job options or working to develop or improve marketing skills CO$T'S MONEY my friend. Where do you think that money is come to come from???
Sanitation work does pay well but I'd like to see some evidence that the supply of these jobs exceeds the demand.
There really are people who are so damn poor that they are trapped where they are and have no way out. As far as scholarships go, there isn't an unlimited amount of money available for everyone who has earned one to get one. Some people qualify but the demand exceeds the supply and the only option for them to goto college is to get a student loan. I wish we lived in a world that is fair where people always got back what they put into it, but we don't. I'm not complaining about my own situation nor am I trying to encourage you to feel sorry for those who cannot find work, but I am pointing out that you're out of touch with reality.

Last edited by Lazar_Kaganovich on 08 Jan 2015, 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

they use words like "good paying job" "propper job" "decent job" "life together" "have the same as me" etc. which equates to a pay level. I don't list but usually the first question is what do you do for a living/work. when they hear what I do they stop talking to me. so no just having a job doesn't mean s**t.

I have no must have label on mine. most guys don't either. some have stuff about what a girl should look like. most women have a must have list relating to job level etc.

I suppose I could lie, but I find it hard to do and the truth would eventually come out and they'd be mad. I would also have to go into more debt to fake the lie.

Lying on a dating profile is just a bad idea... if only cuz you'll likely get dumped due to the LIES the second the potential paramour figures it out.

I'm also puzzled as to why you think women who are CLEARLY stating that they're looking for a man who is "employed" and "has their life together" is somehow a BAD thing?

From what you have written, it doesn't sound like these women are looking only for guys with super-high paying, high-status or super-glamourous jobs... just a man who is independent and self-supporting. An EMPIRICALLY low, low, low standard... that you're either unable or unwilling to meet.

This is not so much about those women as it is about you.

He lives in a competitive society, as do I, and the harsh reality is that competition is NOT fair and it never is. In competitive endeavors people want to win at all costs and if that means being unfair to their competitors that's what they're gonna do.

Now the difference between someone who is employed and someone who lives off of welfare is that the the former is dependent on market forces and the private sector whereas the latter depends on the state. True independence is nothing but a myth. As long as you are a member of society and you pay taxes you ARE dependent on others and there ain't no way of getting around it.