Grrr...I must be so boring.

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In my experience everyone tends to identify pre-existing circumstances as baggage in these contexts whenever they're stressed, making things difficult given how much time my tribe likes to spend in our respective headspaces...

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Hmm, got ignored because I am a blunt jerk who doesn't sugar-coat...wiiiii .

I don't know why you are so focusing on the possibility of being "boring" as a first reason, which it takes quite a time to conclude that of a person anyway (usually guys would assume it's shyness first and this is rarely a turn off for guys), rather than simpler stuff like the in-flesh looks or simply losing to the competition (usually, looks wise). Dating through the internet is initially superficially driven (check hale_bopp's thread, she explained why is that well), even for the 'hippies' who often claim to be so uniquely un-superficial - they aren't.

I myself, know for sure, that the reason #1 of why some dates didn't pass the 1st one was the in-flesh looks. Period. Recalling back these specific dates, I can tell very well what turned them off, and that's the height that they didn't anticipate or didn't check for it on the profile - first impression comments and slip-of-tongue hints such as "you're cute, you looked bigger in pics", "you looked taller in pics" and you "I thought you are taller" are (because I am muscularly lean and for some reason I give the impression that I am TALL and BIG in pictures), that's it, these hints were enough to tell that they didn't like much (or got disappointed) what they've seen.

The dates often went "well", the girls often giggled and smiled and were actively participating in the conversation, and often told me that I am funny and have a good humor, and turned to be liked-minded on many things and them agreeing on many things...etc....but all that won't compensate the lack in my physical looks to them (and the lack of car which also had its hints). Maybe you think they thought of you you're too geeky or too hippie or too introvert or too whatever? Well, these things are often revealed before the dates in profile and in the pre-date chat/messages exchanges - so no, it's not because of that.

Seriously, if you are well-mannered and hygienic, the reasons your dates have to dismiss you in dating are usually that simple and superficial, it's rarely because of some lack of eye contact or because the way you talk or the way of your facial expressions or because of some joke you said or even your AS.....etc. In other term, you're over-digging the possibilities, while the true reasons are often there on the surface.

If you are like me, cursed by being better-looking/photogenic in pics than in real, then this kind of disappointment will happen to you often while using online dating.

Almost any young female on dating sites can get dates on dating sites, regardless whether she is awesome or terrible as a person, so no, it's not an indication for you in any form or shape that you are doing 'something right' - it may be a good indicator for a male that he's doing something right, yes, but for your gender it is not, your primarily indicator should be the frequency of the second/3rd dates.

(Again, being the blunt non sugar-coating as*hole).

As far as making a relationship last is concerned, I would make a couple of observations. I apologize in advance if they don't apply here.

1.) I was once in a relationship with someone who I think may have been on the spectrum (I plan to post about that some day but I'm still somewhat paranoid about that). Anyway, what was most outstanding about that relationship was how "zero maintenance" she was. That may sound like a good thing, but I think it led me to take her for granted. So you should keep that in mind, the next time you're in a relationship, try to communicate about your own feelings, especially how you'd feel if he cheated or left you on your own for long periods. Not sure exactly how, but don't let him take you for granted (but in a nice way, of course!).

2.) For most guys, the early part of a relationship is mostly about the sex, even if they don't say so. Don't let that bother you, instead emphasize your physical attraction to him (even if you have to exaggerate). Talk freely about sex, find out what he wants, tell him what you want, then afterward tell him how much you enjoyed it. If he thinks you're hot for him it will make him want you more. If you're up to it, initiate sex at unexpected times. Also mix a lot of "affection" in with the basics.

Don't worry about being "boring". If a guy really wants to be with you, he shouldn't need constant excitement.

Basically what I mean is that I belong to a culture of obscure creative and/or scholarly types (I'm the latter) in which we spend far more time & energy on our immediate surroundings of technology, music, science and art in no particular order than we do catching up with each other. Although we throw absurdly intense parties, the time gets filled with exchanges of ideas, surrealist humor, drinking/smoking and tremendous amounts of reprisal of just what on earth we've been up to for the last X months. Considering how incongruous our level of platonic tendencies is in contrast to the setting, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if half of all my friends were undiagnosed aspies.

My ex (I think...?) was one of the artist caste. I was/am superseded by her girlfriend even though that was no issue to either of us to begin with.

Lolz by now I'm pretty sure you can guess what town I'm referring to...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

This is probably the same issue for a lot of us

Its not possible to be always lively, it would be like living in a sitcom. Everyone has their ups and downs. Most people are boring anyway; go to work, eat, sleep, always following norms.