Afraid of being alone forever?

Page 2 of 18 [ 279 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 18 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

25 Jan 2015, 11:39 am

em_tsuj wrote:

i have a feeling your non-verbal communication is off.

Specifically, you don't know when a guy is attracted to you, and you don't know how to communicate your interest in a guy using non-verbal communication. I had no idea if a girl was attracted to me until I was in my twenties. Somebody had to tell me what to look for. I think this is an AS thing. We do not naturally use the non-verbal language that NT's use. We have to study it like a dictionary. With practice and hard work we can use it but it never comes natural.

I don't know how old you are, but I am assuming you are in your late teens. It's just a matter of time before a guy works up the courage to approach you. In the mean time, study up on non-verbal communication.

I'm 19 years old. Do you know any good resources that will help me learn nonverbal communication?

Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,539
Location: Europe

25 Jan 2015, 11:58 am

It's all over the internet.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

25 Jan 2015, 12:49 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

It's all over the internet.

I can't ever find anything to help me. I guess I'm stupid.

That's why I asked....

mpe
Deinonychus

Joined: 26 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 379
Location: Exeter

25 Jan 2015, 2:07 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

I'm afraid no one will want to date me, love me, or marry me.

These are far from synonyms. Some people even find they can be mutually exclusive.

Quote:

To this day, no one has asked me out. I even go to college and talk to people, but that doesn't affect anything. I really have no clue how I should go about this. Am I going to be alone forever?

Might be a good idea to start with the basics, which includes things the majority of people never ask.
N.B. none of these have a "right answer" and "don't know" is always an option.
Are you hetero, homo, bi, pan or a-sexual?
Are you mono, poly or kind of both?
Are you an askee, asker or both?
Are vanilla, kinky or a bit of both?

Quote:

It seems as if everyone is with someone except for me.

Whilst wanting to "be like everyone else" is an understandable desire it's a poor basis to build any relationship on. What should matter more is what would meet your actual needs and desires.

Quote:

I want real human contact, real human love and acceptance.

It's important to remember that "real" in this context is a very ambiguious term. It can mean very different things to different people. Unless you can clearly explain what you actually mean you can't possibly know who might be remotely compatiable with you.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,132
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

25 Jan 2015, 3:57 pm

You could try meeting guys here on WP. I bet there are plenty who would be willing to give you a chance if you live near em or be willing to relocate if you don't.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

Rhapsody
Deinonychus

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 367

25 Jan 2015, 6:39 pm

I have the exact same problem! So, no worries, you're not alone. <3 And you're nineteen so you have plenty of time to figure out this mystery. (And when you do figure it out, please tell me. xD) I don't know why, exactly, but I figure that the rest of the people who posted about it being a body language thing are right because the only consistent is us. The guys keep changing.

As far as fixing the body language thing, I've got no tips for you. I've been trying to fix it, but I've gotten nowhere, and I'm nearing 25 and I've never been asked out. (Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do better than me <3) And for those reading along who are asking “why don't you ask guys out?” the only people who show any interest in me are drunk people. Of all genders. I have no idea why. But it bothers me because drunk people are scary when they're fixated on you. Do you have this problem too, Goofygoobers?

I've tried reading online stuff. Implementing the things I read are difficult, though, for me at least. But a basic google search on body language, or how to flirt will give you plenty of reading material. I've also tried to mimic my NT girl friends when I go out, so you could try that. That's slightly easier to do, but it's also awkward, because I'm always second guessing whether I'm doing it right, and I don't want to be too obviously mimicking them. xD But you can always try those two things and see if they help! Anybody else know any other ways?

arnoldmcguire335
Velociraptor

Joined: 19 Apr 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 497
Location: Fairfield, CA

26 Jan 2015, 6:50 pm

To the OP:
I just checked your pics, they're not bad at all! I for one hate it when I feel too much jealousy that most of my friends have bf's/gf's to love and I don't. Even worse when I see the white girls I befriended and they'
re taken for forgotten me, which only adds up the pain of being single. Not to mention being grounded on one city annoys me because the place I live in (Fairfield, CA) has nothing for me to love or enjoy. NOTHING!! !

So yeah, I too am afraid of being forever alone. Mind if I befriend you?

_________________
LISTEN TO MY SONG! -Basara Nekki

Vomelche
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Nov 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 789
Location: Ontario

27 Jan 2015, 9:18 am

It seems that you are hanging out with the wrong groups of people. Try finding ways to meet different people so you can get experience, like meetup.com. Also, going to conventions might be your thing for meeting like minded people.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

27 Jan 2015, 2:25 pm

nick007 wrote:

You could try meeting guys here on WP. I bet there are plenty who would be willing to give you a chance if you live near em or be willing to relocate if you don't.

I doubt it.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

27 Jan 2015, 2:31 pm

arnoldmcguire335 wrote:

Go ahead and befriend me.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

27 Jan 2015, 2:36 pm

mpe wrote:

goofygoobers wrote:

I'm afraid no one will want to date me, love me, or marry me.

These are far from synonyms. Some people even find they can be mutually exclusive.

Quote:

To this day, no one has asked me out. I even go to college and talk to people, but that doesn't affect anything. I really have no clue how I should go about this. Am I going to be alone forever?

Quote:

It seems as if everyone is with someone except for me.

Whilst wanting to "be like everyone else" is an understandable desire it's a poor basis to build any relationship on. What should matter more is what would meet your actual needs and desires.

Quote:

I want real human contact, real human love and acceptance.

I'm bisexual, but I tend to like men more. I tend to initiate friendships, but I don't want to in romantic relationships. I'm SEVERELY CRAVING hugs, kisses, cuddles, and yes, even sex. I would like to be with someone who enjoys talking and spending time with me, patient, non-judgemental, intelligent, physically affectionate, and gives me the attention I've craved for years on end. Does that help at all? Also, I do have many kinks, but I recommend PMing me if you want to know what those are.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

27 Jan 2015, 2:40 pm

Rhapsody wrote:

I don't really hang around drunk people, so no, I don't have that problem. I wish I had female friends that would help me. All they say is "Aww. You'll find someone someday."

Rhapsody
Deinonychus

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 367

27 Jan 2015, 10:12 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

I don't really hang around drunk people, so no, I don't have that problem. I wish I had female friends that would help me. All they say is "Aww. You'll find someone someday."

Whoa, if you're managing to avoid all the drunk people at college, kudos to you! I never hung out with them. They always found me. Which is terrifying now that I think about it.

Also, my friends gave me pretty much the same sort of “advice.” xD So, I took matters into my own hands. I extrapolated based on what they were doing (because they'd give me a play by play if they were interested in a guy), and from observing other girl's social interactions, to figure out what I was supposed to do. It would be nice to be able to rely on NT friends, but that's difficult because they don't totally understand the issues. You can learn a lot from observing other people. So hopefully that helps you some.

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

29 Jan 2015, 9:58 am

Rhapsody wrote:

goofygoobers wrote:

I don't really hang around drunk people, so no, I don't have that problem. I wish I had female friends that would help me. All they say is "Aww. You'll find someone someday."

Unfortunately, it doesn't help me at all. I don't know how to show interest the way other girls do. I check guys out and talk to them, but then I see them hold hands with girls much prettier than me...

KayteeKay
Snowy Owl

Joined: 3 Jan 2015
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

29 Jan 2015, 9:11 pm

Alone forever is a possibility. For everybody.

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

02 Feb 2015, 1:37 am

As you have discovered, most women don't get asked out all that much. Why don't you ask guys out?

Page 2 of 18 [ 279 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 18 Next

Jump to:

Afraid of being alone forever? Post Reply New Topic

Afraid of being alone forever?