How does she see me?

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Pursue both girls to double your chances of succeeding with either of them. If one finds out about the other it might result in competition between them, which is ALWAYS good for you.
Don't worry about getting attached to both of them, you are already biased toward one of them. Right now it's about options, not decisions.

Maybe but I don't think so. We're a pretty tight knit group. We don't act all impersonal.But our group always has lunch together. Either in-office or sometimes we all go to a restaurant.That's kind of what I thinking. Even though I want to be monogamous, I should maintain an interest in more than one girl for now to make sure I don't end up alone. To increase my chances as you say.

That's what I was thinking until...

It's funny what you can learn over lunch. We were in a restaurant. Girl-from-work? I was trying to figure out if she likes the tall guy who sits next to her. I think maybe he likes her. I wanted to know how she saw the tall guy and then I saw how she acts around the short guy who doesn't sit next to her. I think she him, not the tall guy.

Sure, the tall guy is better looking and more confident (some of the time) but the short guy always dresses like he stepped out of a Jules Verne novel and I think that's what girl-next-door is into. She could find him adorkable.

I should have seen it. I didn't realize they were into each other because they don't sit close but I should have inferred more from the way he was always asking if he could come to her ice hockey games or even if she was only practicing.

I think the fact she was the only girl at work caused me to think of her like a commodity. When I realized I was thinking that way I stopped myself. I know it's wrong to think that way. I know there are other offices packed with twentyagers where they all end up pairing up, I've heard of it happening before but that's easier when the sexes are more evenly distributed.

But was she into me once? Maybe. I remember when I asked for her number in the kitchen she was about to tell it to me until some other guy came in. She was silent until he left. Then she told me. It makes me think if she was acting that secretive she did like me... once. I think she found me adorkable too.

That's in the past now. So maybe I'm destined to end up with girl-next-door. She's cute, she's sweet, she's flawed. Could I really love someone who's imperfect?

I don't know. She doesn't share my love for classical music. She has severe myopia. She gets cranky with me a lot.

Maybe she has her upsides. She's a lot more open then most girls. I can talk to her about anything. And she has time for me, whereas girl-from-work is only happy if she's super busy. She never has time for anything and she likes it that way.

Girl-next-door shares my love of video games, unlike girl-from-work (who dislikes video games and only plays hockey), girl-next-door could be my player 2 (even though I think some of the games she likes are kind of corny (like Maple Story)). Also unlike girl-from-work, girl-next-door gets bonus points for being Asian. I know I shouldn't fetisize Asians but I can't help myself because Asian girls are so cute.

Anyway I already know girl-next-door is into me. She's been dropping subtle hints like "I love you" and "I want to marry you" and "what should we name our children?"

Also I should mention that girl-next-door is that girl I was dating a few weeks ago before she left me. Now she's saying she wants to come back to Adelaide and get back together with me. I won't go into too much detail because she made me promise I'd stop gossiping about her on the internet.

I wouldn't consider these subtle. lol

From the way you describe it, it sounds like a push-pull kind of relationship with her, which usually isn't a good thing. Also, personally, I wouldn't tell someone that I was talking about them on the internet.

I stopped talking to girl-from-work because I just couldn't see the point and I just felt too tired to make the effort when all along I thought all my conversations with her had a sort of a forced quality. Like if I didn't think of something to say and then wait too long to get a word in edgewise, I'd never say anything to her. Most of the time I'd make some sort of joke.

I know this is the proper way to interact with someone. Other can people speak casually with her. I can speak casually with other people. I can speak casually with girl-next-door. If girl-from-work noticed my conversations sounded forced, she never let it show. She was always friendly. She always laughed at my jokes, yet increasingly I'm feeling this is an exercise in futility. I think instead my fate is to be with girl-next-door.

Is my sarcasm too over the top?What do you mean by "push-pull relationship"?

Dating coworkers is the most common path to marriages.

Those who say otherwise aren't much in touch with the workplace life.

she doesn't like you at all. if she did, she wouldn't of blown you off the first time. if she was truly busy she would've offered an alternative time to hang out, and she didn't.

she's probably just very outgoing and wants everyone to like her, there's a lot of people like that. don't waste a second thinking about her as anything but a friend.

why do you care so much? just be friends with her, why is it so hard to just get along and co-exist with a coworker like that?

I think you might be right.Why do I care so much? Because I worry if I misinterpret the situation and do nothing, it would be a missed opportunity. If I knew for certain she wasn't in to me then I'd be quite relieved. I'd feel like there was no longer any pressure on me. I'd feel like I was no longer passing something up. If I was certain she wasn't in to me, I could quite happily just be friends with her and get along and co-exist with her as a coworker.

But I keep thinking if she's not into me it's because I mistakenly gave her the impression I'm not into her. Like a couple of months ago when she was poking me saying "tease", which I interpreted as some sort of flirting and I didn't respond because at the time I was dating girl-next-door.

Anyway I think the evidence is increasingly weighing in favour of she's not into me so I should instead focus my efforts on girl-next-door.

Valuable advice for anyone. If she is into you, she will not make excuses and will always offer to reschedule. No exceptions. I run three times a week, play hockey three times a week, work full time, volunteer and still make time for a relationship.

Yeah, I know. But I'm not sure if I can do better than her. Actually when I tell her that it really makes her mad.

But your recent success story makes me wonder if I really could do better

As I said, you have already tried, IF she changed her mind and started to like you then the ball is in her court this time to make a move.

But can you please make the "Pffff, I have few dates next week, and I am not sure who I like more!" in front of her? I wanna see how she would react.

You two are my rat lab.

Gee, I wonder why. If I was your Girlfriend I would be very tempted to slap you one before walking out. Come on RetroGamer87 you aren't THAT dense. That's not even touching on the fact you are STILL gossiping about her and insulting her.


The better self-esteem I had, the better my dates got. It was almost like magic. Focus on you and the rest will follow without effort. Oh, and get rid of that 'girl next door' once and for all, for her sake and yours. I also dated 'girl at work' and she can be equally as frustrating and draining trying to please.


Reminds me of the advice a guidance counselor gave in school. "Go around acting big and tough and the bullies will leave you alone".

Ugh. I don't want to remember that. No wonder the bullies ramped up their attacks. They probably had to hold back laughing first though watching me make a fool of myself.

I told my GF about the various PUA advice and she said "no self-respecting woman would fall for any of that crap!" Stop reading articles about dating as like most Aspies you are taking things far too literally. My GF has few common interests with me but she is willing to meet me halfway and merge her life with mine. THAT is what you should be looking for above anything else.

No, I'm not that dense, I was just hoping if I gave the impression that I'm a total jerk you'd no longer think I was dating below my league. I wanted to give the impression that I deserve her.

Also that she deserves me. The reason I said that is because it really bugged me that she kept on asking why I'm dating her. She kept on saying she wasn't good enough for me. It really annoyed me so I said that on impulse in hopes it would make her stop. It didn't.