If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

Post Reply New Topic

I think it's the "other areas" of your life you have to get right before a successful relationship is even possible. You've got to be a whole person first. Don't look for a relationship to fill a void in your life.

For the record, I was 39 before I entered into my first relationship. I had myself convinced I was asexual, which was complete nonsense.

I will admit, the lack of a girlfriend, the lack of companionship, the lack of a sex life has made it very difficult for me to focus on other areas in my life, I would feel it is also probably one of the factors as to why i'm not financially stable, well-established yet in my life.

A relationship isn't going to make you financially stable. Unless you find a responsible person, you could even end up in worse shape financially.

Marrying =/= getting a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I have to be more cautious as a female aspie because it's so easy for me to get stuck with someone abusive and not even realize it. It seems hopeless at times, but I still have faith that maybe someday I'll meet someone good for me. As cliché as it sounds, you just gotta keep looking.

But isn't marrying the goal of getting a boyfriend/ girlfriend? A monogamous romantic commitment is a monogamous romantic commitment.


I'm also 27, and see myself walking down the aisle as an old lady with a multiple-time divorcee/ widower (assuming I lose my crush)... if I'm lucky.

If you think you're depressed or going to hurt yourself, please please please get medical help.

I think it's the "other areas" of your life you have to get right before a successful relationship is even possible. You've got to be a whole person first. Don't look for a relationship to fill a void in your life.

For the record, I was 39 before I entered into my first relationship. I had myself convinced I was asexual, which was complete nonsense.

A relationship isn't going to make you financially stable. Unless you find a responsible person, you could even end up in worse shape financially.

no help for this. some people just born wrong and unloveable.



what about all the thousands of years of poor families and couples.



for a lot of people a relationship is the drive to be financially stable that wouldn't be there without the relationship. they have a reason to try. the old quote of behind every successful man is a successful woman. comes to mind. women tend to care more about that stuff and push the guy to do it. I for one am content working a lower paying job, pays for stuff I would want/need. like people turning their life around when they have a kid.

well I often feel that if I was more successful socially, in terms of dating and relationships, like if I had a girlfriend a long time ago, and had a more fun social life that consisted of more friends, that made me more outgoing, it would have provided me with the self-esteem, confidence, validation to have inspiration, motivation and drive to succeed in other areas of my life, unfortuneately, and it really pisses me off, that life, society, culture, or reality, expects us guys to be the more independent, self-reliant gender.

Would you want to date a bitter, anti-social, dead broke girl who expected you to make her self-confident and socially/financially successful?

:oops:


WantToHaveALife --

Clearly, not being financially stable/established as a strategy for finding a girlfriend hasn't worked for you. Perhaps it's time to try a different approach?

You're also a grownup who has completed his post-secondary education who isn't financially stable -- many women (myself included) will not date you because of that. I don't expect a guy to support me (& have dated plenty of guys who make less than me, which is no biggie).



That being said, the giant chip on your shoulder is HUGELY unappealing -- the universe doesn't owe you friends, financial stability, self-esteem or a girlfriend. There is no magic wand that can be waved to give you some (or any!) of those things... you must work for them.

The place to start would be with the things that are 100% within your control -- financial stability, social skills and self-esteem -- otherwise, you're dooming yourself to fail. There's no guarantee you will EVER have a relationship -- NOBODY's guaranteed that!

Is raging at the universe for being single working for you?

Is being bitter at adult women who GASP expect the men they date to be independent adults capable of supporting themselves working for you?

You have a big-time over-entitlement complex and expect a relationship to find you -- without any effort on your part!

Would you want to date a bitter, anti-social, dead broke girl who expected you to make her self-confident and socially/financially successful?

I'm guessing NO. So why would girls wanna date YOU as-is? I'm genuinely curious. Give me a list of reasons.

:oops:


WantToHaveALife --

Clearly, not being financially stable/established as a strategy for finding a girlfriend hasn't worked for you. Perhaps it's time to try a different approach?

You're also a grownup who has completed his post-secondary education who isn't financially stable -- many women (myself included) will not date you because of that. I don't expect a guy to support me (& have dated plenty of guys who make less than me, which is no biggie).



That being said, the giant chip on your shoulder is HUGELY unappealing -- the universe doesn't owe you friends, financial stability, self-esteem or a girlfriend. There is no magic wand that can be waved to give you some (or any!) of those things... you must work for them.

The place to start would be with the things that are 100% within your control -- financial stability, social skills and self-esteem -- otherwise, you're dooming yourself to fail. There's no guarantee you will EVER have a relationship -- NOBODY's guaranteed that!

Is raging at the universe for being single working for you?

Is being bitter at adult women who GASP expect the men they date to be independent adults capable of supporting themselves working for you?

You have a big-time over-entitlement complex and expect a relationship to find you -- without any effort on your part!

Would you want to date a bitter, anti-social, dead broke girl who expected you to make her self-confident and socially/financially successful?

I'm guessing NO. So why would girls wanna date YOU as-is? I'm genuinely curious. Give me a list of reasons.

I will admit, the lack of a girlfriend, the lack of companionship, the lack of a sex life has made it very difficult for me to focus on other areas in my life, I would feel it is also probably one of the factors as to why i'm not financially stable, well-established yet in my life.

... and it really pisses me off, that life, society, culture, or reality, expects us guys to be the more independent, self-reliant gender.