Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

How can I be rid of all romantic desire?

Page 2 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

06 May 2015, 1:45 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
You can only get rid of it by having romantic connections with people. If you cannot get a real gf/bf, get an imaginary instead. The latter does work for some (possibly many) Aspies, and if you happen to find a real gf/bf, you can just skip to the real thing.


how does one make up a gf?


You select somebody you like, obsess about her, and then she will be your made up gf. :wink:

A tip is that it's best to select somebody you won't be likely to see with other guys, but still see regularly.

Some people might not even need a real role-model. Another way could be to select some celebrity.

fail to see how that would help and only how it sounds super creepy.
said girl wouldn't fill any of the gf needs.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

06 May 2015, 3:34 pm

sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
You can only get rid of it by having romantic connections with people. If you cannot get a real gf/bf, get an imaginary instead. The latter does work for some (possibly many) Aspies, and if you happen to find a real gf/bf, you can just skip to the real thing.


how does one make up a gf?


You select somebody you like, obsess about her, and then she will be your made up gf. :wink:

A tip is that it's best to select somebody you won't be likely to see with other guys, but still see regularly.

Some people might not even need a real role-model. Another way could be to select some celebrity.

fail to see how that would help and only how it sounds super creepy.


Well, it is not creepy unless you find it creepy yourself, because you are the only person knowing about it. That's unlike asking random girls out without first making sure they are interested, which is creepy for real, and can give you a bad image.

sly279 wrote:
said girl wouldn't fill any of the gf needs.


Depends on your needs. It can fill the attachment need, while the rest of it can be filled in other ways.

I used this during most of my 20s, and it filled my romantic needs for sure. Didn't have any desire for a gf for most of my 20s. I didn't use just any random, interesting, girl, rather I used my college crush. :wink:



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

07 May 2015, 1:21 am

only if no one else including the girl never finds out about it. soon as some heres what you're doing and spreads it around, people will think its super creepy.

from what I understand nts walk up and ask strangers out all the time. its the common way they meet their lovers.

It doesn't and wouldn't fill any of my needs. in fact just make my needs worse.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

07 May 2015, 1:52 am

sly279 wrote:
only if no one else including the girl never finds out about it. soon as some heres what you're doing and spreads it around, people will think its super creepy.


I think on the contrary. If you do a careful selection (a neurodiverse girl that seems to have some interest in you), then her noticing that you are obsessing about her could very well go in the opposite direction, that is she might develop a romantic interest for you that she initially didn't have. I suspected this relation after having experienced this myself, and it is related to neurodiversity in both genders.

Just like asking random girls for a date might give you a bad image, so could obsessing about random girls. It all comes down to knowing if they have a potential interest or not. If you are targeting only neurodiverse girls, then it's easy enough to notice interest. It all comes down to eye contact and if they reciprocate eye contact outside of normal conversations. That's a reliable signal of interest, since amount of eye contact in neurodiversity is related to if a neurodiverse person likes you or not.

IOW, this method not only works, but if you do it carefully it could develop into something real. The only thing one needs to keep in mind is to try to keep it non-exclusive. It's an easy mistake to think of your imaginary gf as something exclusive, but if you do that it will do more harm than good.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

07 May 2015, 2:13 pm

Thats why I sometimes wish I had an emotion chip like Data from Star Trek the Next Generation



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

07 May 2015, 6:03 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
only if no one else including the girl never finds out about it. soon as some heres what you're doing and spreads it around, people will think its super creepy.


I think on the contrary. If you do a careful selection (a neurodiverse girl that seems to have some interest in you), then her noticing that you are obsessing about her could very well go in the opposite direction, that is she might develop a romantic interest for you that she initially didn't have. I suspected this relation after having experienced this myself, and it is related to neurodiversity in both genders.

Just like asking random girls for a date might give you a bad image, so could obsessing about random girls. It all comes down to knowing if they have a potential interest or not. If you are targeting only neurodiverse girls, then it's easy enough to notice interest. It all comes down to eye contact and if they reciprocate eye contact outside of normal conversations. That's a reliable signal of interest, since amount of eye contact in neurodiversity is related to if a neurodiverse person likes you or not.

IOW, this method not only works, but if you do it carefully it could develop into something real. The only thing one needs to keep in mind is to try to keep it non-exclusive. It's an easy mistake to think of your imaginary gf as something exclusive, but if you do that it will do more harm than good.


may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

07 May 2015, 6:04 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Thats why I sometimes wish I had an emotion chip like Data from Star Trek the Next Generation


so we could take it out? I'd like that. or a drug that gets rid of emotions.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

07 May 2015, 6:13 pm

Richard Cole wrote:
I should have chosen my words more carefully, I used a regional colloquialism. My apologies.
Think nothing of it.
rdos wrote:
Well, it is not creepy unless you find it creepy yourself, because you are the only person knowing about it.
That's exactly why I couldn't do it. I would know about it and my conscious wouldn't allow it.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

08 May 2015, 3:32 am

sly279 wrote:
may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.


You cannot ask people if they are neurodiverse. You notice this by stims or eye-contact patterns.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 May 2015, 3:53 am

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.


You cannot ask people if they are neurodiverse. You notice this by stims or eye-contact patterns.

except we dont' notice those things :roll:



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia

08 May 2015, 4:29 am

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.
You cannot ask people if they are neurodiverse. You notice this by stims or eye-contact patterns.
Some of them may not be aware of it themselves.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

08 May 2015, 4:34 am

sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.


You cannot ask people if they are neurodiverse. You notice this by stims or eye-contact patterns.

except we dont' notice those things :roll:


Of course we do. We Aspies are detail-oriented, so we easily will notice if people stim, or look at us. If you don't, all you need to do is to learn how to spot those things, which you surely can learn. However, I think it is more common that we do notice these things, but have learned to ignore them. In that case, you need to unlearn that and start analyzing it instead of ignoring it.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 May 2015, 5:10 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may work for you, but for those of us aspies who can't read eye contact or other non verbal ques it doesn't work only verbal saying stuff does. also no way to know if a girl is neurodiverse without asking her.


You cannot ask people if they are neurodiverse. You notice this by stims or eye-contact patterns.

except we dont' notice those things :roll:


Of course we do. We Aspies are detail-oriented, so we easily will notice if people stim, or look at us. If you don't, all you need to do is to learn how to spot those things, which you surely can learn. However, I think it is more common that we do notice these things, but have learned to ignore them. In that case, you need to unlearn that and start analyzing it instead of ignoring it.

yeah we notice details in objects, not people. this is why women complain their aspie guy doesn't notice they cut their hair or using a new outfit.

woman looks at me. I see women looking at me, sister sees woman flirting with me.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

14 May 2015, 2:30 pm

sly279 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Thats why I sometimes wish I had an emotion chip like Data from Star Trek the Next Generation


so we could take it out? I'd like that. or a drug that gets rid of emotions.

Yes, to make it easier to focus on other areas of my life, since apparently, part of being masculine, is to make your mission, purpose, destiny in life, your career goals and aspirations to be the number 1 priority above all else in life.



FirstOrder57
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

21 Sep 2019, 10:24 pm

I’m with you man. Romance is disgusting. I’ve almost removed all of those desires by now and I’m almost 16. I HATE sex and romance and I go into fits of anger when I think about a girl having the NERVE to ask me out (thankfully that hasn’t happened yet). But there’s still a little bit left. I’m planning on trying to convince my parents to get myself castrated, thus getting rid of all of those disgusting desires. If you want a sure fire way to remove those really annoying feelings, I suggest to consider that. Good luck ✊



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

22 Sep 2019, 6:30 am

The above is absolutely ridiculous.

Don’t take that advice.

Anyway, the OP probably moved on from this 4 year old thread.