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Can women and men can be friends interviews..?

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Vomelche
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08 Jul 2015, 8:25 am

I think its competitive heterosexual culture, which affects both genders but is more maybe more common to women. We are always sizing each other up and looking for potential mates. Its probably possible to be friends with the opposite gender, but requires above average intelligence.



traven
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08 Jul 2015, 10:53 am

Yes, to me women are more difficult, with men you can do things or talk about things of shared interest, ofcourse many men can't handle the thought or the wife don't like it when you get along. There are friendly women though, plenty even, we just don't mingle much.



sly279
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08 Jul 2015, 4:59 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The point here is that men don't befriend women initially just for the sake of friendship; sure exes may become real friends, a guy may move over a crush he befriended and remains friends with her ..... but the initial motif wasn't friendship. Like the Outrider's story here: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=288973&start=45 this is so typical.

And the question remains whether he will be willing to sleep with her if got offered, some of you are saying they won't but I bet you haven't tried to ask them.

Oh well, I don't see a problem with that. It doesn't prevent the two people from being just friends while they are just friends, like I mentioned before. So if there's never an offer...yep, they can be just friends!

If the question was "can a single hetero male and single hetero female ever be friends without either one ever being attracted to the other (or willing to shag them if offered)" then I'd say the answer is "only in rare cases".


you're just friends the guy is friends hoping to be with you friends. doubt you'd like it if you wanted to be romanticly with a guy and he said we'll be just friends.

I have such friends. It's fine. We're just friends.


well men tend to get sexual frustrated by hormones that make us want to sex the woman, so its not so easy for us.



SilverStar
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08 Jul 2015, 11:50 pm

I would say, that in most cases, men and women can't be "just friends", unless neither side is attracted to the other person.

For the ladies out there, if you are attractive, and a guy (or guys) want to hang out with you all the time, it's a pretty sure bet they want something more out of the deal, than just a friendship. Keeping them around, knowing that they like you is considered stringing them along, which creates controversy between them, and other potential mates, and sets them up for a huge disappointment.



cathylynn
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09 Jul 2015, 12:00 am

i had a study partner i had a crush on. he said he wasn't interested, so we became friends. i have other male friends from school and work where there was never any question of romantic involvement. i think it's ridiculous to write off half the world as not possible for friendship.



yellowtamarin
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09 Jul 2015, 12:14 am

SilverStar wrote:
I would say, that in most cases, men and women can't be "just friends", unless neither side is attracted to the other person.

For the ladies out there, if you are attractive, and a guy (or guys) want to hang out with you all the time, it's a pretty sure bet they want something more out of the deal, than just a friendship. Keeping them around, knowing that they like you is considered stringing them along, which creates controversy between them, and other potential mates, and sets them up for a huge disappointment.

I just tell them I'm not interested, and they continue to hang around, as friends, typically. That's their choice so I don't see it as "stringing them along" at all. If I don't have a chance to tell them I'm not interested, because they haven't indicated to me that they are, then again that's their choice, to hang around me without doing anything to pursue something more.

I think it's pretty arrogant to assume that a guy must be romantically interested in me if he starts hanging out with me as a friend. I will wait for him to actually let me know, rather than automatically getting rid of him because apparently "it's a pretty sure bet" that he wants more.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2015, 12:31 am

^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.



yellowtamarin
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09 Jul 2015, 12:44 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2015, 1:15 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:



yellowtamarin
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09 Jul 2015, 1:51 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:

Why is that my responsibility, if I don't want to have sex with them? Isn't it up to them to propose it if it's what they want? As far as I know it's a friendship, it's up to them to say they are wanting more.

The other way around though, I've had friends who the answer to that question would be "sure", but that doesn't mean I'm not just their friend while we aren't having sex. It's not distracting me from our friendship, or making me not want to be their friend just because I can't get in their pants as well.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2015, 1:54 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:

Why is that my responsibility, if I don't want to have sex with them? Isn't it up to them to propose it if it's what they want? As far as I know it's a friendship, it's up to them to say they are wanting more.


You are not getting the point then. I give up. :roll:



sly279
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09 Jul 2015, 2:55 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:

Why is that my responsibility, if I don't want to have sex with them? Isn't it up to them to propose it if it's what they want? As far as I know it's a friendship, it's up to them to say they are wanting more.

The other way around though, I've had friends who the answer to that question would be "sure", but that doesn't mean I'm not just their friend while we aren't having sex. It's not distracting me from our friendship, or making me not want to be their friend just because I can't get in their pants as well.


only if they want to upset you , hav eyou say no and get mad, then never see you again. now they have to play it safe, wait for the right moment. after you grown more interested in them. thats how guys think, we'll never tell you we'd rather sex you ad date you because that would blow eh chance of it happening instead we wait for better odds.

just like how you wait to tell someone you love them, too soon in the relationship and you're scare them off.



yellowtamarin
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09 Jul 2015, 3:05 am

sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:

Why is that my responsibility, if I don't want to have sex with them? Isn't it up to them to propose it if it's what they want? As far as I know it's a friendship, it's up to them to say they are wanting more.

The other way around though, I've had friends who the answer to that question would be "sure", but that doesn't mean I'm not just their friend while we aren't having sex. It's not distracting me from our friendship, or making me not want to be their friend just because I can't get in their pants as well.


only if they want to upset you , hav eyou say no and get mad, then never see you again. now they have to play it safe, wait for the right moment. after you grown more interested in them. thats how guys think, we'll never tell you we'd rather sex you ad date you because that would blow eh chance of it happening instead we wait for better odds.

just like how you wait to tell someone you love them, too soon in the relationship and you're scare them off.

That's fine, but I don't see how the woman in that situation is "stringing him along" as SilverStar suggested, in that type of scenario. She can't know for sure that he likes her, so she's not knowingly stringing him along. Sure, if he has made his feelings known, she should let him know if the feeling is mutual...it would be kind of weird not to, right? If the answer is "maybe" when really it is "no" then yeah, that's stringing along and is bad form.



sly279
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09 Jul 2015, 2:49 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ romantic interest =/= sexual interest.

Insert either type of interest, same applies.



Have you tried asking these single friend "Would you have sex with me?" ? :twisted:

Why is that my responsibility, if I don't want to have sex with them? Isn't it up to them to propose it if it's what they want? As far as I know it's a friendship, it's up to them to say they are wanting more.

The other way around though, I've had friends who the answer to that question would be "sure", but that doesn't mean I'm not just their friend while we aren't having sex. It's not distracting me from our friendship, or making me not want to be their friend just because I can't get in their pants as well.


only if they want to upset you , hav eyou say no and get mad, then never see you again. now they have to play it safe, wait for the right moment. after you grown more interested in them. thats how guys think, we'll never tell you we'd rather sex you ad date you because that would blow eh chance of it happening instead we wait for better odds.

just like how you wait to tell someone you love them, too soon in the relationship and you're scare them off.

That's fine, but I don't see how the woman in that situation is "stringing him along" as SilverStar suggested, in that type of scenario. She can't know for sure that he likes her, so she's not knowingly stringing him along. Sure, if he has made his feelings known, she should let him know if the feeling is mutual...it would be kind of weird not to, right? If the answer is "maybe" when really it is "no" then yeah, that's stringing along and is bad form.

well for nts atleat. women have made it know that they know when a guy is into them. they read the signs he puts out without having to say it. mos thte girls I liked knew it before I told them. like boo said if a guy is always wanting to be around you whenever he can. he likes you in that way. guy's dont' spend large amounts of their time and go out of their way to be around one particular friend. I imagine its the same with women. in fact people say one of the ways to tell if a girl likes you is if she spends a lot of time around you.



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09 Jul 2015, 3:59 pm

I spontaneously tend to think it's possible, as simple friendship is the only kind of relationship which has ever seemed slightly realistic for me to have with anybody. When sex or romantic relationships are off-limits, I don't know what problem there could be.

On the other hand, as years have gone by and I still have never had even one friend of either sex, friendship seems more and more unrealistic to me, too.

yellowtamarin wrote:
But can't a male and female be just friends regardless of whether they might happen to shag each other at some point? Why does that have to change they dynamic of the relationship while they are not intimate? I've had male friends who I would say I was happily "just friends" with, even though possibly we might happen to have sex at some point in the future, if they or I offered, or in a night of drunken passion or whatever.


I wonder why it's so widely accepted that anyone you have sex with can't possibly be a friend anymore. I've heard and read it mostly from women. It's almost as if having sex necessarily means someone is being used as a sex object---not that I really know what that means to most people.

I guess I have no idea what real friendship is, but, if a man and a woman are truly friends, should't they have enough mutual trust to freely discuss what they feel about each other, on the basis that they'll do only what they both want, and with no fear of being pressured to accept something because they accepted something before?


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09 Jul 2015, 4:26 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I spontaneously tend to think it's possible, as simple friendship is the only kind of relationship which has ever seemed slightly realistic for me to have with anybody. When sex or romantic relationships are off-limits, I don't know what problem there could be.

On the other hand, as years have gone by and I still have never had even one friend of either sex, friendship seems more and more unrealistic to me, too.

yellowtamarin wrote:
But can't a male and female be just friends regardless of whether they might happen to shag each other at some point? Why does that have to change they dynamic of the relationship while they are not intimate? I've had male friends who I would say I was happily "just friends" with, even though possibly we might happen to have sex at some point in the future, if they or I offered, or in a night of drunken passion or whatever.


I wonder why it's so widely accepted that anyone you have sex with can't possibly be a friend anymore. I've heard and read it mostly from women. It's almost as if having sex necessarily means someone is being used as a sex object---not that I really know what that means to most people.

I guess I have no idea what real friendship is, but, if a man and a woman are truly friends, should't they have enough mutual trust to freely discuss what they feel about each other, on the basis that they'll do only what they both want, and with no fear of being pressured to accept something because they accepted something before?


This is what happens when I sign on - I start answering stuff and nothing else gets done. Anyway, I don't understand how people can get divorced and remain friends. If you are still friends, then why can't you remain married?

The sex thingy and remaining friends couldn't happen with me either. Once you do the sex thingy, you can't go back - it complicates things. And if you were having sex before, then why stop unless there's a problem and one isn't interested in a relationship with friendship anymore. But what if the other one is still attracted to the other one? A friendship just can't happen after something as serious as sex happens. And I doubt a man would stick around for just friendship after they were getting sex before.


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