Will She Buy YOU Dinner?

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It's not self centered or superficial to expect the person who asked you out to pay for the date. It's traditional that the guy asks the girl out and pays for the date, but it's gotten more common for the girls to do the asking and the paying. It's nothing to do with wanting his money, it's really more about how tradition and the usual way things are done slowly changing.

Women do provide for themselves for the most part. Most women do work. In relationships even if the guy pays for the dates most of the time, the girls do give gifts or do things for their boyfriends like buy them things if they have the money for that. Also, after being in a relationship for a few months it's usually not a big deal who pays for things any longer. If they both want to go to something and the guy usually pays but he doesn't have the money for it, she chips in or pays for it. After a while it's more along the lines of "What do we have enough money to do this weekend" rather than "What does he have the money to take me to this weekend?"

In a marriage, most women work as well and people pool their money. Also, many times she makes as much or more than he does, so she ends up shouldering most of the financial burden. Traditional roles in marriage when it comes to earning aren't seen all that often now. I'm one of the very few ladies I know who is one of the old school classic housewives and does everything at home and has a husband who goes to work. However, I still pay the bills. He wants no part of that so he gives me the money when he comes home on Friday and keeps about a hundred for himself for the week for lunches or whatever and I take the rest and pay bills and buy for the house. He goes out to work 8 hours a day and when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything. When I'm sick he helps out, and he does lift and move heavy objects anytime that needs to be done, but he comes home and sits back and does whatever he wants, so it's not at all unfair. He's happy with it like this and I'm happy with it like this and our kids had great childhoods and are happy with it like this and have said many times that they are very glad they had a mom who was at home by choice and actually did things for them when they were growing up.

Also, I know several girls who are with guys who either don't have a job or can't keep a job or have really sh***y jobs. My best friend is with a douchebag who just won't work. He won't keep a job at all. She supports him, although she's getting sick of it and is about ready to leave him. He treats her like crap anyway and all he wants to do is sit around and get high while she goes to work and pays the bills. She's staying with the methadone clinic and he's not so thats another reason. Also it's another reason he won't keep a job - other than him just being a big whiney baby who gets so upset he throws a fit anytime his boss says anything to him he doesn't like, such as "You can't come to work two hours late and expect to work that day, go home and come back tomorrow" or "You can't disappear for lunch and come back three hours later, high. Go home and come back tomorrow". She's also a very beautiful girl and popular too, she just picks real losers for some reason. He's not even good looking. She's got issues.

So, women aren't just out there looking for money. While there are gold diggers, most women are not at all gold diggers. There are plenty of shallow ones too, but most aren't. Also, I don't think it's shallow to want to be with a man who has a job and has a job that supports him even if it wouldn't support two people. I wouldn't think it was shallow if a man wanted that in a woman either, but man guys are fine with women being housewives, although most of us don't want to do that - I guess I'm not mainstream that way.

Bottom line, most women won't turn you down just because you aren't loaded nor will they dump you if you can't take them out to nice places every week. And, the person who does the asking also does the paying.

Of course they do




No, but I can't tell other people how to live their lives, so it doesn't matter much whether I like it or not, or whether it meets feminist ideals.



Choosing their own terms for dating gives them exactly as much power as their dates are willing to tolerate in order to be with them. If you don't like a particular woman because of her requirements, well, you don't like her, so she has no power over you. Pay attention to someone who deserves it more than she does.



Just because you---and I, for what it's worth---want any potential partner to be willing to provide for herself doesn't mean other people should follow the same rules. It's obvious a lot of people prefer the traditional way, and they have a right to stick to it as long as they have willing partners to do it with.



Men have as much of a right as women do to set their rules. You can refuse to have anything to do with a woman if she doesn't have sex with you right away. Of course, this is very unlikely to please her, so she'll probably choose to have nothing to do with you.

I don't care lol.

A girl on my fb shared this and I am still trying to figure the message behind it - I mean.... Lol....Beckham was already rich back in 1999 but now got wealthier - due to his good play and hard work - yet they see the wife has "struggled" with him lol.

Struggled to get richer. What's the problem?

Aww...I got teary-eyed.

first he said that the man pays fore EVERYTHING so idk know why you and others bring up if the guy asked her out, we aren't talking about if the guy asked her out. we talking about no mattter the situation no matter if she asked him out or they been in a relationship for years, the guy pays for EVERYTHING

also you're from the south. I'm from the northwest. completely different cultures. so while in the south two people working or the woman working why billy bob slacks off and stays home w*king and drinkinb beer may fly , it doesnt' with women here.

see heres what I don't get. you don't know the people that live here, you don't look at their proflies, ads, you don't listen to them talk about love and relationships. women here very much do demand a guy make more then them. the reason" well he has to be able to provide for me" yeah they work or they say they work, yet still want a guy to make more then enough to provide for both of them and pay for vacations. because they like to travel and well its on the guy to make it happen. >.> so idk maybe its because in the west we aren't as conseritive christian as the south but its how it is here. I'm not lying. is it all women no, but the ones who dont' got take fast by guys who dont' make much or work at all. see theres a lot of low paid guys here and a lot of unemployed guys. unemployment is high. so women willing to accept said guys are in high demand.

I can show you texts from the girl who was supposed to be my friend lecturing about how life is. she says all the same stuff, all the women at my work say it, women on my facebook say it, women on okcupid, pleanty of fish, and craigslist say it. I'm really not making it up:( why would I make up such a thing why would I purposely make myself feel good. then the ones who don't' list it. well half of them rejected me after messaging and asking if i worked. what I did, how much I made. it makes it really hard to find a woman when you have to deal with the normal stuff of interest, personality similarities, body shape, looks, etc. but then add that 90% even if you match all that stuff will reject you out front for your crappy job. I thought 10 an hour was good, mean heck whats it like 7 an hour down there? is in Missouri. but here they look at 10 an hour as trash.

when I work. I go in work my ass off at whatever I'm doing. I give it my best. I strive for perfection. I want to give my employer and customers the best product I can. I follow the rules. meanwhile the other employees, slack off whenever they can, hide and play on their phones(strictly forbidden they fire people for this.) I'm not lazy when it comes to work.

yeah they want money and everything else. but if you lack the first here you're worthless. I don't make the rules. dating and relationships here is super one sided. though idk like I said all the ones not like this were already taken, perhaps thats why all these women are still single and been single for years?

my job/ssi does support me, and if I got a job making 10 an hour it'd support me just fine, even let me buy fun things I like more often. but its not considered a decent job. which is ironic when you look at the women and bunch work min wage jobs(9 an hour) mean the women at work are working the same job I am yet guys working it aren't considered good enough for them. wtf. I guess I could go troll the homeless camps for homeless 50 year old women. but I do have some standards. I want a girl my age. heck I'd probably let a girl live with me rent free. its not about money with me. I just want a woman for who she is. to enjoy her company.

think if I ever win the lottery I'm moving to indiana or montana. but until then I'm stuck here. I won't leave all my family and connections to live homeless in another state. that would be insane.

difference is if a guy does the stuff you said, society and women all over jump on him calling him a pig, a monster, a pua or a user. so women can use men, men can't use women. how is that equality. simple they dont' want and never wanted to be equal they just wanted to be the ones in power. everyone just wants o be the one in power, so freaking sad that all that matters to the human race at large is having power over others.

yeah I think a lot of people can only dream to ever have the house in the first picture. I would't call that struggling. struggling would be living on the edge of being homeless.

i have bought dinner for guys. i was engaged to a guy who made much less than i did, but broke up because he hit me.

sorry he did that.

hugs

Well then of course you are correct, all women in the Northwest want rich men, and you don't stand a chance in hell so why try to find out if thats really true. I mean after listening to what you said, video games is all you've really got, so there is no reason to think it will ever, ever be different. Also, being Southern and 51, I'm pretty stupid and no matter what kind of life I've had it was probably a fluke that I've done well and me and my poor redneck friends and their double first name guys need to hush cause we know nothing. I mean how would I know anything about other places without going and living there? It's not like there is some kind of device where I can meet and talk to and interact with people from different parts of the country. It's not like I could talk to them with an open mind and find out that not everybody is the same. That would be a ridiculous concept. I'm just stupid to consider that maybe there are girls up there who don't just want rich guys. Well, what would you expect from a stupid old redneck woman anyway?

Good luck.

never said rich, rich is bill gates. they want middle class incoem. ie decent jobs.

also never said you're stupid. I too talk to people from other regions. and this problem isn't limited to just mine. but know what difference between me and you. I don't' assume that because I read some stuff online or talked to a few people I know what an area is like. you just assume I'm lying and women are so sweet and will all date homeless bums. so must be something wrong with me. always gotta be the mans fault impossible that women can be wrong or superficial . what a load of crap. go make an account for my area read their profiles. go check out craigslist. pm me and I'll send you the text messages that girl sends me.

you have this mindset that since I have difference experience and disagree with you I must think you're stupid. well I'd never call anyone stupid thank you very much I always try my best to never hurt people and make them happy.

also stop putting words in my mouth I said most women not all.

how does you as a woman doing well finding a guy to provide for you equal to the struggles of a men to find a woman willing to accept a guy who can't provide for them. sounds like opposite sides of the issue to me. its really no shock to me that women can find a guy. lots of men will take any woman they can get. women only have to lower their standards. and before you say anything this isn't an insult to you or saying that your man settled or you not good woman. I'm just talking in general. if a woman came up to me tomorrow and said you going date me. I'd accept. most straight single men would. but reverse the rolls and it wouldn't go the same.

whatever I'm just tired of being called a liar when they have no proof to the otherwise. I don't make this stuff up. I'm surprised you of all people would take her side on this issue.

really calling people liars is hardly a way to approach a debate or talk about an issue. she ignores all the stuff I say and just assumes I'm making it all up. I've posted quotes from profiles here before. I have no reason to make this stuff up and up until I started trying to date I thought pretty highly of myself. I was just too shy to approach women. it took me 22 years to finally get enough courage to break though my shyness and what did i get. told over and over and over how I'm not a real man and I'm worthless. so I dare anyone to go through that and not get a low self esteem. silly me for growing up thinking all that mattered was who a person was not what they do for a living.

I am with no one side and didn't call anyone liar.

Bur both of you are being dramatic.