Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Is this girl interested?

Page 2 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

c700
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2015
Posts: 39

20 Jul 2015, 6:08 am

The reason why I doubt that she's interested in me is because she's very close "friends" with a guy who's almost 2 times older than her. She's 23, and he's 43. As far as I know, women prefer older men - and I'm 4 years younger than her. My intuition tells me that she's most likely interested in the older guy. That guy is a part of my social circle, by the way (and so is she). That guy is a friend of mine as well, too.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

20 Jul 2015, 6:20 am

c700 wrote:
The reason why I doubt that she's interested in me is because she's very close "friends" with a guy who's almost 2 times older than her. She's 23, and he's 43. As far as I know, women prefer older men - and I'm 4 years younger than her. My intuition tells me that she's most likely interested in the older guy. That guy is a part of my social circle, by the way (and so is she). That guy is a friend of mine as well, too.


That makes no sense to me. It's you that she throws air kisses at, and it is also you that she looks a lot at, and wants to massage and talk in private to. If she was romantically interested in the older guy, she would do that to him, not to you.

Besides, 4 years is not much of an age difference when you both are around 20.



nerdygirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.

20 Jul 2015, 6:21 am

c700 wrote:
The reason why I doubt that she's interested in me is because she's very close "friends" with a guy who's almost 2 times older than her. She's 23, and he's 43. As far as I know, women prefer older men - and I'm 4 years younger than her. My intuition tells me that she's most likely interested in the older guy. That guy is a part of my social circle, by the way (and so is she). That guy is a friend of mine as well, too.


Can you ask this guy what's going on? Or are you two in "competition" for this girl?

I'd ask her out. What's the worst that can happen? She says no, and you are no worse off than you are now.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Jul 2015, 6:22 am

Yellow, take notes of this man-woman friendship typical case.
These things ALWAYS happen.



c700
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2015
Posts: 39

20 Jul 2015, 6:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yellow, take notes of this man-woman friendship typical case.
These things ALWAYS happen.


Could you rephrase this, please? I don't understand. (I have some verbal comprehension issues).



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

20 Jul 2015, 6:54 am

c700 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yellow, take notes of this man-woman friendship typical case.
These things ALWAYS happen.


Could you rephrase this, please? I don't understand. (I have some verbal comprehension issues).



It was addressed to another user called yellow-something... long story.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

20 Jul 2015, 1:07 pm

I think c700 needs to stop making excuses, and do something about the current situation. If he doesn't dare go talking to her, at least he should make sure he reciprocates her interest nonverbally so she knows he is interested back. Otherwise she will stop being interested and move on to another guy.



c700
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2015
Posts: 39

20 Jul 2015, 4:02 pm

OK, there's an update. The girl in question started putting her legs on mine in a strange way, which I found very scary (I don't find physical contact comfortable). She said that she was "playing footsie". What does it mean?




rdos wrote:
I think c700 needs to stop making excuses, and do something about the current situation. If he doesn't dare go talking to her, at least he should make sure he reciprocates her interest nonverbally so she knows he is interested back. Otherwise she will stop being interested and move on to another guy.


"at least he should make sure he reciprocates her interest nonverbally so she knows he is interested back"

How do I do that?



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

20 Jul 2015, 4:05 pm

c700 wrote:
OK, there's an update. The girl in question started putting her legs on mine in a strange way, which I found very scary (I don't find physical contact comfortable). She said that she was "playing footsie". What does it mean?


She is flirting with you.

c700 wrote:
"at least he should make sure he reciprocates her interest nonverbally so she knows he is interested back"

How do I do that?


Look at her a lot, possibly smile, or start a conversation.



c700
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2015
Posts: 39

21 Jul 2015, 1:51 am

rdos wrote:
c700 wrote:
OK, there's an update. The girl in question started putting her legs on mine in a strange way, which I found very scary (I don't find physical contact comfortable). She said that she was "playing footsie". What does it mean?


She is flirting with you.

c700 wrote:
"at least he should make sure he reciprocates her interest nonverbally so she knows he is interested back"

How do I do that?


Look at her a lot, possibly smile, or start a conversation.


I asked an NT friend who's (partially) a member of our social circle, and he said that she was probably joking. How to distinguish flirting from joking?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

21 Jul 2015, 2:26 am

Playing footsie is not something girls do to 'just friends'.

It's very sexual.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

21 Jul 2015, 2:30 am

Ask her out, you have a very legitimate reason to ask her out.

And if her response is no or 'we are just friends'...or something like that then I advise you to end this friendship because that would mean she's making a fool of you.



c700
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2015
Posts: 39

21 Jul 2015, 2:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Playing footsie is not something girls do to 'just friends'.

It's very sexual.


I was quite shocked (since I find unwarranted physical contact to be uncomfortable) to be honest. She glided her foot from roughly the top of my leg to its bottom.

How am I supposed to react in these situations?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,452
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

21 Jul 2015, 2:37 am

c700 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Playing footsie is not something girls do to 'just friends'.

It's very sexual.


I was quite shocked (since I find unwarranted physical contact to be uncomfortable) to be honest. She glided her foot from roughly the top of my leg to its bottom.

How am I supposed to react in these situations?



I would leave kraftie to reply to this.



CommanderKeen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,138

22 Jul 2015, 11:40 am

You should ask her out TODAY. If you don't soon you'll then be confused why she stopped being flirty with you and the answer is, you waited too long. Think about it, how would you feel if you kept flirting with a woman and she didn't flirt back while at the same time seeming like she may be interested but your not sure, because she never flirts back. After awhile it would feel awkward.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

22 Jul 2015, 1:28 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
You should ask her out TODAY. If you don't soon you'll then be confused why she stopped being flirty with you and the answer is, you waited too long. Think about it, how would you feel if you kept flirting with a woman and she didn't flirt back while at the same time seeming like she may be interested but your not sure, because she never flirts back. After awhile it would feel awkward.


That doesn't mean he necessarily must ask her out, but he at least needs to flirt back so she knows he is interested. Once she knows there is mutual interest, she can wait a lot longer for a move than if she doesn't know. It depends on the girl too. Some girls can flirt-only for months or even years, but most will not do that, rather require guys to move faster than that.