What do you find attractive in your partner?

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Sure many poor people find partners and plenty of people with good salaries can't find a partner. Some of us are so 'broken' that no single thing could make us dateable.


It's unfortunate that so often we confuse effort with success.

My top five list...

My NT spouse is:

1. A good cook
2. Dependable
3. Willing to put up with my B.S. and odd personality
4. Animal lover like myself
5. Into similar styles of music as I am.

-Curious (questions things)
-Analytical
-Open to the possibility of being wrong
-Reliable and responsible (like cleaning up after themselves and following through with things)
-Creative
-Kind and thoughtful
-Thinks differently from everyone else / Sees things differently
-Understands me / doesn't constantly misinterpret me
-Smart but doesn't make you feel bad about yourself if you make a mistake
-Can think rationally
-Able to debate without using any logical fallacies
-Love animals and would do anything for their pets
-Loyal
-Deep thinker
-Can make me laugh and finds me funny/gets my humor

Physically:
I don't think I have a physical type...though I do have definite attributes that I dislike. Some basics that I would have to have would be:
-Clean and hygienic (not obsessive or anything)
-No facial hair or really long hair (hair passed the cheekbone)
-Within a healthy weight range
-Has a few little quirks that set him apart (I don't like generic "good looking" guys like Brad Pitt, they're boring to look at)

How dare those mean employers hire better candidates, who have more experience and skill than you! That's evil!

How dare higher-skilled, more experienced workers stay on the job because they GASP want to, thereby depriving you of a well-paying job!

How dare all those well-qualified, more skilled foreigners take jobs that should rightfully be yours!

Everybody else is at fault for your lack of marketable skills! By giving "your" job to more qualified workers with more skills, they're depriving you of a love life too!

So unfair! So wrong!

so what do use worthless men do kaytekay? are you going to kill us, seems that's all you think we are good for.

how do i get experience if no one will hire me because I have none. that's a catch 22. there's no way. someone has to hire someone with no experience for them to get any.

please just go away and leave us alone. you're life must be so great if you have nothing better to do other then come here and attack us.

When I met my husband I was working in a convenience store gas station with a single friend. They were building a huge mall and hotel across the street and the guys got off work and came over for gas, beer and cigarettes every day and there were tons of single guys and it was flirting and dating heaven. We kept an eye out for guys we were interested in and helped each other out wingman style. When my husband walked in I thought he was hot. It was the 80's so I told my friend "He's awesome" and when he came up to the counter she said "This is OOM, she thinks your awesome. She's single. Here's her number". She wasn't usually that blunt but she thought it was needed with him, she had a gut feeling and I got embarrassed and turned around and blushed and he thought it was cute and he hung around and we talked.

He sat around the station every afternoon after work and drank a couple beers and we talked about music, where he was from, what I like to do, what he likes to do, Ford vs Chevy (never resolved, he's wrong, Ford small block is the way to go, he can't even change oil) etc. The kind of things you talk about when you are talking to somebody you are interested in. We enjoyed talking to each other and then started talking on the phone a lot. He lived near me so he invited me over to hang out. He asked if I liked to drink. Yes, I did. Like a fish. I could keep up with him. Another shared interest. I went over and we got drunk and sat around listening to music and watching Carson (remember Carson?) and then it just went from there.

I slept over, in the bed with him and both of us in shorts and tshirts and no sex. I told him I'd go home. I wouldn't have but I wanted to hold out longer and do the whole "you gotta buy the cow cause the milk ain't free or at least take the cow up the road a piece anyway" and it worked. If he had tried to talk me into it just a little bit, I would have and I knew it and didn't mind that at all but he didn't. Holy s**t I had never been around a gentleman before. It was a very new experience for me. Especially when we would spilt a litre of Jack Black in a few hours and pour ourselves in the bed. It's pretty easy to just throw all standards by the wayside, and back then at 22 he could still do something after drinking that much so he could have but didn't.

There were also other different things about him. I was 21 and had been briefly married to a douchebag who is now in prison where he belongs and I hope to be there and watch him fry, and I had dated quite a lot of guys too trying to find a guy who seemed to be the right guy. One that gave me a different feeling. I can't explain what I was looking for, I just knew I hadn't found it yet. About two weeks before I met him I gave up looking for that and decided to just do what guys do and play the field and see what happens. I wasn't one of those clingy marriage talking pushing into a relationship girls kind of looking, I was looking at my feelings for the guy in question and seeing if they were what I was trying to find. I didn't know what I'd do when I found it, but I gave up on it. Then when I didn't want to find it anymore it hit me like a ton of bricks and I tried to make it go away but it wouldn't. It was love. f**k. So much for my life of playing the field and just having fun, because in my head it would be the 80s forever and I'd stay young and pretty because I was young and stupid and didn't know much better. But I kept going over there in spite of not wanting to be in love, or rather in spite of thinking I didn't want to be in love. I obviously did and was so I went. He was too.

He was just different from the other guys, most of whom were douchebags of some sort or other. Jobless by choice, petty and not so petty criminals, guys with jobs but who were drunks, guys who did too many drugs, guys who were too clingly and needy and guys who were jealous and guys who treated me like I was lucky to have them. They weren't all douchebags, but after dating a lot of them for a while and being used to a high level of drama and s**t, along with actual fun adventure, a lot of regular good guys were just boring because they didn't hold my interest without some kind of s**t happening. My husband could though. We talked and talked for hours for years actually. Even ten years in we would sit around and talk for hours and enjoy it.

He also had a real mans job and no guy I had dated yet did. Construction. He also had body hair and actual facial hair and not that dirty lip douchebag half beard thing that a lot of the others did. It was a totally new experience. He actually seemed responsible at first and was compared to the rest of the guys I dated. He's not actually but I am and it works out cause I don't mind being the one to do that business stuff.

Those are just some of the things I guess. Mainly it was just the feeling I had never had, even for my ex husband who I had married simply because my mother didn't like him and I wanted to get out of the house. But I was interested in him because of all that I mentioned. Also he was a Yankee and he had the cutest accent ever. He's lost it and sounds normal to me now that was interesting and exotic to me. Plus he came from what seemed to be a normal tv show regular family and I had never known anybody like that. I found out about the money much later on after we were in love and moved to DC together and were planning our wedding. I was surprised and thought "Wow, when we are old we will get some money" but didn't worry about it then. Haven't got it yet, it's his inheritance and all. But the money didn't matter. Not at all.

So, there ya go.

Was that what you wanted, or were you just looking for general stuff that each gal likes in a guy?