Is marriage Hell for introverts?

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Ganondox
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22 Sep 2015, 3:43 am

Marriage with children is NOT hell for introverts, introverts have been having children for thousands of years without problem. It might even be more hell for extroverts, as they are more likely to have problems with commitments and might feel their marriage is holding them back, especially if they have children, from hanging out with people their age. That being said, children are a lot of work for anyone, but one way or another you'll be able to manage as long as you're stable. My parents have six, btw, six very troublesome children, and yes, they are introverts, so you could probably manage two.


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AusWolf
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27 Sep 2015, 6:35 am

Both I and my girlfriend are very introverted, but we have such a good connection that spending time together is actually more fulfilling than alone time. I've never thought it was possible, but it is, and it's amazing. I want to spend my life with her anyhow, but marriage would make it official. It would be the most magnificent thing ever.



BirdInFlight
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27 Sep 2015, 9:51 am

I'm fairly deeply introverted, but I find that if there is someone I really connect with, and they with me, that person tends to become someone in my life that I have no trouble spending lots of time with -- even while most other people remain a problem for me to spend time with.

Basically the things that AusWolf describes in his post, I have experienced also.

So, my marriage itself, and spending my time with my husband, wasn't in itself the problem. I'll tell you what part of marriage IS hell for introverts:

Dealing with in-laws and the additional family obligations/family times.

That is hell for introverts, because you are thrust into a social obligation to spend time with THEM too. Sometimes when you don't want to, don't feel like it, don't like them, etc.

You never just marry the one person you're marrying.

You marry the whole freaking family. It's true. You HAVE TO DEAL with that person's family. People you didn't choose, a bit like a workplace -- some co-workers you'll get along with, some will be a nightmare, some will cause you misery, some may be another good friend you make.

But if you're an introvert NONE of this is going to be on your terms, and that's how marriage can be hell for introverts -- because you're taking on not just ONE person's company, but a whole family of people whose company, and opinions, and judgements, and meddling, will be thrust upon you too.

If I ever marry again I'm seriously hoping that his family -- like mine -- are all dead now. :|



Last edited by BirdInFlight on 27 Sep 2015, 9:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

glebel
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27 Sep 2015, 9:57 am

My late wife was an extrovert, and I'm an introvert. Sometimes it was rough, but we found a modus vivendi. Don't let this minor issue stop you from living a full life. If you two love each other, you will work through this.


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