"Simply doing well in life wont get one a relationship...its more about connecting with someone."
Precisely. I see all this advice on 'working on your own life first' and 'before you must love someone else, you must love yourself first.'
All of this is meaningless. Your chances of a relationship may be increased if you are fit, hygienic, good looking, confident, hardworking and friendly, but considering it seems that for every person like this, there are two unfit, unhygienic, ugly, unhealthy, lazy, rude, selfish, greedy, abusive people in relationships, it makes you feel a bit upset and as if all your efforts of doing well in life are pointless as the effort does not reap the rewards.
Relationships happen almost purely by chance.
"I don't really understand your question of getting GF/sex/dating 110%, there isn't an exact formula to get those things everyone in the world has to improvise and do what works for them."
I think a lot of people have told him things such as 'It's normal to have difficulty finding a relationship'/'Your situation is not unusual', so he's sarcastically asking if it's really all true, as he has observed the majority of people in the 16-25 range already find success for less effort while he hasn't for more effort.
"I mean what are your interests? what do you do for fun, what kinds of things do you want to do with a girlfriend, are you a very affectionate type or someone who needs a bit more space. That is the stuff to think about."
He has mentioned being involved in an extremely high amount of groups, including sports groups and various Meetup groups, and they've done very little for him. He mentions having a social circle of friends, so it's not like they couldn't introduce him to new people to meet.
"Being on point with work or school, having a vehicle, a place to live ect is all good, but that is not what forms a bond/attachment between two people. If your introduce yourself to women just by talking about what you're studying in school, what your job is and stick to just normal life stuff I could see why they might not be very intrigued by you. They want to know what your hobbies are, what you do for fun...all the potential fun things you and her could do should you become a couple and what you think and feel about things."
He frequently mentions his interest in environmentalism. I'm assuming it's his special interest as it's what he's studying right now.
"Plenty of guys have a place, a car and are doing well in work, school or both....what's unique about you that sets you apart from all those other guys? That is what a woman is going to be looking for, unless she's after something less genuine than a relationship with you."
I often mention my stand-out interests and females show little to no interest in it. I try and expand on it but they try to brush me off and change the subject.
I am an electronic musician of a genre almost no one seems to listen to, as it's hard enough finding a girl who likes electronic, but the one's who do like the mainstream cr*p I usually dislike...
Where do I go from there??
"I'm extremely unlikely ever to have sex. I'm resigning myself to that. I'm an ugly, obese waster, so it's a non-starter."
Not at all. In my experiences, many people find success regardless of these things, just as someone working hard to be fit, healthy, friendly and social and happy in life, may not have any success with relationships whatsoever.
It's almost purely by chance.
04 Apr 2016, 5:39 pm
