May I get some opinions on "May-September" romance

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I worked with a man that was married to a much older woman...the age gap was well over 20 years between them.

He was in his late 30's when she passed away after being sick and confined to a wheelchair for over 5 years...people used to say things here and there, and how it should never have happened (my grandmother was one of them)...but I used to talk to him after she passed away, he was like me and didn't talk to many people ...he loved her...more than anything. He's remarried now...but there were never any regrets I know that for a fact...he would tell you without blinking how happy he was. They met in church also.

Hold on to happiness when you find it...life is far too short. Congratulations!

Okay so we add in she really listens and she has a voice you like, she's got it Ragtime. Those are things my husband also has in that he really listens to me and hears exactly what I mean even if I am not giving off the usual NT clues and he has a voice that just soothes me and calms me.

This really sounds good. Forget what people will say because you know what, they won't go home and live with you (nor would you want them to) so their opinion on it does not count. You two like it and that's all that matters.

I'm very happy for you.

If your asking me would I do it I'd definitely say no. I'm young at heart and typically anyone more that a few years older than me just wouldn't be able to put up with it but you sound like the type who would be perfectly happy in that kind of relationship so I say go for it. Enjoy your new found happiness man. Congrats

Sounds lovely to me.

Age gaps are not much to worry about if neither of you find it a problem. I don't want to share my own experience here at the moment, only to say that I was most compatible with someone years ago where the age difference was very large and I still look back very happily on those years.

Personally, no I wouldn't date anyone more than a year older than myself. It seems horrible and depressing to think about actually doing that.

Age is only a number. BUT, there are a lot of other issues which do
come up that would disturb me. I'd love to be in a relationship with
someone MUCH older than I am (say 10+ times my age). Especially
if they revealed their secrets to me.

Age gap?

Hah.

I have yet to actually date anyone in my age range.

age 17, I sort of was with a 21 year old.

age 19 (This year) I dated a 27 year old. and I'm currently pursuing a girl who is 21 or 22....not sure.

my age limit is 30 years old for right now. but if anything comes along, I'll take it.

It's a big age gap and you'll become a laughing stock. It does come across as a bit creepy. A ten year age gap, fine. But she's more than old enough to be your mum!

A lady I know was in her 50s and dating an 18 year old, it lasted about four or five years and he was deeply in love with her and wanted to marry her but she dumped him!

I have no problems with it as long as both individuals are mature and enjoy each other's company and all. Now if the older condescends the younger, yeah I would have a problem with that as already experienced it. My live-in partner and father of my sons is 43 this year and I'm turning 34.

Hey, it can happen! One of my fears is that she'll find an older man near her own age! But I want her to always choose the best overall man. Still, the logic of her finding someone near her age would help to soften the blow for me, I think, but I'd still be sad to lose her to someone else.

Thank you all for your positive words. And I understand that those of us young at heart greatly prefer people their own age or younger -- makes perfect sense. It takes all kinds to make a world, and I'm glad we're not all the same.

Think about the logistics of her having a young, strong man to work around the house, who also has the strength to physically take care of her as the years go by, versus a middle-aged or even older guy. Sounds like quite a blessing to her when looked at that way! (No offense to older couples.) I have a lot of love, and it could be something really special to be able to show it that way. What Beenthere wrote was really touching.

You know what Ragtime, you and I may be completely different religious and conservative-wise, but we are the same in valuing shared morals and interests with those we choose to love. If you have found this, you have found your person. I strongly believe that. I may not be some overly religious person (for many reasons) but I have a strong sense of God (if that makes any sense to you) and I believed almost from the moment I met my husband that he was my gift from God. I still believe that 26, almost 27 years later. I don't think that will ever change. I would feel that way about him no matter his age. It is him as a person that makes me feel that, not his age. If that's how you feel, then you know what to do.

I think age is the most irrelevant issue here to be honest...the most relevant ones are about what you have in common and your feelings toward this person.

Make the most of our time...age is probably the most irrelevant thing in relationships these days...life is too short to worry about that stuff!

Love is a personal thing, forget societies perceptions.

What I can't figure out is why you weren't snatched up a long time ago! (Don't worry, I'm not trying to hit on you. I'm married. ) The more I hear from you, the sweeter you sound. Women are always saying how they want nice guys. I know some of them just say that, but a fair amount of them really do want a good guy, as long as he's not a complete pushover. Do you turn into a werewolf at night or something? How in the world did your ex-wife let someone like you get away???

I forgot to ask if your new woman friend was ever married. Does she have older kids who might have a problem with her dating you?

Well, she has been married before, and has two sons, and they are about my age. One's a fireman, outgoing and social, and the other's an introvert -- kinda like me -- and he lives with her. Don't know much about either one yet, and I haven't met them. It might be a bit of a "new" experience to be introduced to a guy my age who is the son of the woman I'm dating, but if he's at least polite to me, I don't forsee any real problem there. I think as long as both of her sons see how much I really love her, and how happy she is, they'll be okay with it. She's already told her mom about us, and I think her sister as well. We're getting good reactions, so far. (I'm just waiting for this stereotype: the angry, older male relative with the pounding fist, "It ain't right, I tell ya!! !") I understand if some of our friends may have mixed feelings about it, but I think those unsure feelings will quickly default toward positive support and encouragement.

Well, thanks for the compliment. The answer to your question to why I wasn't snatched up before now: I have Asperger's Syndrome. People seem to have a very hard time seeing the real me. I've got a thick social shell, but even when I try to show the real me to people -- they just don't get me. A few do, like my two closest friends. (And interestingly, they also are not often seen for who they are!)