How To Get A Boyfriend If You're Autistic

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I am not looking anymore so its irrelevant to me....just saying its not particularly 'easy' to get a boyfriend even for attractive aspie females.

How so? Desperation is not a problem for females, only for males.

Regarding #1:

Most guys don't like fat chicks but some guys really DO(so-called "chubby chasers"). But if you're extremely obese you should try to lose weight for health reasons as well as your dating options will be limited.

Oh, no, I've heard plenty of females express despair over not feeling like they are loveable, attractive, or wanted. Oddly, a surprising number of these have been (to my eyes) very visually attractive females. Desperation is most definitely not limited to males. Nor, actually, is it limited to people who are "different" in some visible way. There's no short supply of it in the general human population, in fact.

That is false...I have certainly felt it. I could even say my last hook-up experience before i got with my current boyfriend had some to do with my own feelings of desperation. I was so desperate for a boyfriend I jumped into having sex and being intimate thinking if I could satisfy that way they wouldn't leave me...well I was just one of many girls he was 'getting to know' nothing special to him. I put so much effort trying to ensure it would work with him...only to be discarded for whatever girls he decided he liked more.

Had i not been caught up feeling so desperate, I would have held off on getting intimate so quick till I was sure we had something going on....it probably would have ended a lot sooner as he probably would have decided not to see me again upon realizing I wasn't going to have sex until a relationship was formed. And I wouldn't have gotten attached enough to be so disappointed about it.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 18 Nov 2015, 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Don't guys like desperate girls?

Some guys like them because they see it as an easy opportunity for sex, but as far as I can tell guys aren't actually attracted to having a desperate girlfriend. Many wouldn't hesitate to act somewhat interested to get her in bed with no intention of going on to be her boyfriend though.

I like desperate girls and would accept being in a relationship with one.

Well good for you...I am sure they would prefer that to a guy just taking advantage of their desperate state to have sex with them and than discard.

Why are other guys so desperate for sex? I prefer masturbation, it's much easier to do and less disgusting.
Also, I'd rather cuddle with a girl instead of having sex with her. Sex requires the guy to be horny, is uncomfortable and a bit disgusting. I do have a sex drive, but I'm not very horny in general.

I don't think the guys that take advantage of desperate girls are actually desperate for sex to them I think its kind of a 'game' you could say. But I imagine for some guys who are desperate for sex, masturbation doesn't quite satisfy them...or maybe some are confused and desire a relationship but are fixated on the sex aspect. I mean masturbation is different from sex as it only involves one person and i imagine it feels a bit different then actual intercourse....I know for females it does.

Come back and tell us that AFTER you have been in a relationship with one. There is a reason they are 'desperate' (I hate that word but I will stick with it here) and they are usually quite toxic and dangerous.

There was a 'desperate' female on this site a few years back and I got tired of her complaining about how all men are pigs because she kept going back to the same type of toxic guy over and over again.

I guess she needs to change the way she thinks.

Or one can simply be really craving a relationship and used to them not working out, or maybe that is more loneliness.

Oi, where to start with this.

Ok, I'm a guy, so this is some info for you girls out there who want a a nice guy. Listening to this is probably on the fast-track to finding the jerks.

#1. I do not find any of those girls "sexy", ugh, just ugh. From my perspective, they are probably THE LAST girls I'd ever want to date. Every bit of them is fake. I can't speak for every guy out there but trust me, we are alot more forgiving on looks than you women are. Most of us would probably like you for being YOU. Not some plastic doll covered in makeup. Top "celebs" I find attractive? Emma Watson (if she wasn't a complete idiot as proven by her recent anti-men comments), Jewel Staite, in how she appears in Atlantis (not when out in public trying to look "hot"), Lexa Doig (SG-1, Dr Lam). On the Trek side there is girls who played Dax on DS9, though Ezri was way too thin and would have looked way better with a little meat on her bones. Lacy Green is kinda cute, but her attitude sucks. I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole (probably get rape charges leveled at me ). Now if you are 150lbs overweight, I'd loose some weight, mostly for health reasons but dating options help.

#2 I think this probably the #1 problem most AS/ASD people face, SHOWING interest. If you're dealing with another on the spectrum, and are interested in him, it might not hurt to come right up and say "I like you, lets do something". If you're dealing with a NT guy, he might get scared off by this or get the wrong impression. probably the reason I hate the "dating game", cause its that, a game.

#3. You ARE NOT crazy, you have a different way of processing data and can't handle certain things as well as NTs can. So long as you don't believe you are the next host of the Dax symbiote with 10 lifetimes, you're good. But again, showing interest is probably REALLY difficult if your on the spectrum. I know I have a hell of a time, like one cashier at Bi-Lo, shes drop dead gorgeous but for me, just talking to you is showing interest. I can't flirt, and if I'm that interested in you, You probably wouldn't know.

#4. Should be pretty obvious, but alot of them can put on this facade and do a complete 180 around girls. I've seen this first hand at work. If it's a co-worker, see how they treat most people. As the target of these arses, I can tell you how they view women, BADLY. If the guy is verbally abusive to others (like making fun of other people), stay away. Guys on the spectrum are probably a bit different. Most women I tend to treat well, but I've gone off on the A-holes more than once. If you suspect the guy is on the spectrum, it might not hurt to know the full story because he might be lashing out in frustration. I speak from experience.

If the guy comes on to you strongly, BACK AWAY. If he starts touching you, especially in the workplace, BACK AWAY. If he finds you attractive based on looks only, BACK AWAY. If he thinks he's deserving because of looks or what he owns, BACK AWAY. Again, I speak from experience. I've seen how these guys really act and its pretty universal.

I think #5 should be "DO NOT buy what normal women are telling you". If a woman is telling you that you need to be like this? its probably NOT TRUE, especially if that woman is an extreme left wing feminist. Like I said, Most men don't care, and your "flaws" as much as you think they do. I like glasses, I find it cute. I'd much rather the girl have some meat on her bones, she doesn't need an hourglass figure for me to be extremely attracted. If you have small breasts, so what? Among the anime community, there is a saying "When you hug a flat chested girl, you hold her closer to your heart". I actually prefer a B-C cup, getting higher up there and you arnt nearly as attractive. Bigger than that and I'm probably not interested.

You don't need to dress like a bombshell for a guy to be interested either, might help, but it would probably get you some attention from the A-holes. I actually find a girl in conservative clothing to be WAY more attractive, and you'd probably look more attractive me in a one-piece swimsuit over that bikini that leaves little to the imagination. Probably why when you look up Jewel Staite on google shes way more attractive on the show than in press events, cause in the events she's wearing God aweful dresses.

Yes- story of my life!! !
The other day I was trying really f*****g hard to get the courage to just god damn make eye contact with a guy that keep looking at me/was shy/held his phone in his hand and walked in my direction and then backed off but came back and backed off- I thought he was attractive so I was like oh okay.
BUT NOOOOO I couldn't make eye contact and then couldn't open my damn mouth >___>...
So interaction ends there