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Anyone else think relationships are irrational or overrated?

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Spiderpig
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21 Dec 2015, 2:04 pm

If I ever find someone who at some point claimed relationships are overrated dying of thirst in the desert, I'll be sure to tell them water is overrated.


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seaweed
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21 Dec 2015, 2:13 pm

there are lots of people now who are choosing nontraditional ways to have love and sex, and there are so many iterations. for instance, my friend is in a "cuckold" relationship with her boyfriend, so she f***s other people and he loves it and encourages it. my partner and I are in love and have been for 6 years, but I play rough (unromantically and nonsexually) with others because he doesn't meet that certain need for me, just as I like him to be a flirt with others because I'm not flirtatious whatsoever and he really enjoys flirting. people in general are becoming much more open to alternative interpersonal relationships, because you're right, strict monogamous love forever everything each person needs never boring happy ending etc. is rare and therefore unrealistic. I don't think this kind of relationship is overrated, it's quite a beautiful thing, but I do think that creative relationship solutions can be beautiful too.



Malaise
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21 Dec 2015, 2:56 pm

I don't think they're illogical, but I do think they're overrated. Only because people who are unhappy with who they are and where they are in life seek them out thinking that it's going to fix that. It makes me a little nervous to date, because do people like me or do they just like feeling important to someone? I've always been very independent.



mr_bigmouth_502
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22 Dec 2015, 8:12 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I think you are thinking of friends with benefits....f***k buddies means you get together to have sex, not much hanging out aside from that. Friends with benefits is people who spend time together as 'friends' and sometimes go further and do intimate things. But IDK I think relationships can be overrated, or some aspects that society may make a big deal of but they can work out and can be satisfying so not necessarily overrated.


See, I always thought that "friends with benefits" was a euphemism for "f**k buddies", or in other words a polite way of putting it. I didn't know there was actually a difference. ;)



Sweetleaf
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22 Dec 2015, 12:14 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I think you are thinking of friends with benefits....f***k buddies means you get together to have sex, not much hanging out aside from that. Friends with benefits is people who spend time together as 'friends' and sometimes go further and do intimate things. But IDK I think relationships can be overrated, or some aspects that society may make a big deal of but they can work out and can be satisfying so not necessarily overrated.


See, I always thought that "friends with benefits" was a euphemism for "f**k buddies", or in other words a polite way of putting it. I didn't know there was actually a difference. ;)


Well IDK maybe it is the same thing, I just mostly hear people use 'f**k buddies' negatively like in cases where someone feels used because the other person only spent time with them for sex like people saying 'I wanted a relationship but we only ended up being f**k buddies....friends with benefits I always pictured as rather close friends comfortable with each other enough to do intimate things.

But not sure that is a definite distinction or just how I've mostly heard the terms.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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22 Dec 2015, 12:35 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I think you are thinking of friends with benefits....f***k buddies means you get together to have sex, not much hanging out aside from that. Friends with benefits is people who spend time together as 'friends' and sometimes go further and do intimate things. But IDK I think relationships can be overrated, or some aspects that society may make a big deal of but they can work out and can be satisfying so not necessarily overrated.


See, I always thought that "friends with benefits" was a euphemism for "f**k buddies", or in other words a polite way of putting it. I didn't know there was actually a difference. ;)


Well IDK maybe it is the same thing, I just mostly hear people use 'f**k buddies' negatively like in cases where someone feels used because the other person only spent time with them for sex like people saying 'I wanted a relationship but we only ended up being f**k buddies....friends with benefits I always pictured as rather close friends comfortable with each other enough to do intimate things.

But not sure that is a definite distinction or just how I've mostly heard the terms.


I'm not sure if it's a definite distinction either, but I like the idea of "friends with benefits" the way you put it. It sounds like the perfect type of relationship to me.



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22 Dec 2015, 5:22 pm

Classic example of the fox and the grapes mentality, life is long and hard and on your own its not really worth seeing to completion. It's nice if you feel you have some sort of purpose and are fulfilled with your life doing whatever I guess but I don't have any passion or anything like that for anything. The stuff I do enjoy isn't too enjoyable really when I start thing, more of a distraction. I dunno, I don't know what I want or have any idea how to get it. Being alone sucks.



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24 Dec 2015, 11:07 pm

I go back and forth with my feelings about relationships. Is it worth it or not? I don't know. I do like companionship and getting laid on occasions, but I also really need my alone time to recharge so I can just deal with having a job and other draining life chores. I've never dated a woman who did not have a problem with my need to be alone. I just ended a relationship because of that very issue. So now I'm looking forward to getting back to a routine where I'm doing things I enjoy and feeling mentally stable.

I think a good relationship could be very rational if both people want the same things and can help each other with practical aspects of life. Marriage certainly seems overrated.



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25 Dec 2015, 3:55 pm

Like one dude in the replies said, being in love can be f*****g awesome. But it can also be f*****g terrible too. Being madly in love is like being bipolar. You go from being extremely happy and elated to being f*****g upset and pissed off when you feel they don't return the favor.


Falling for someone hard does some crazy f*****g s**t to you. Just ask my 2015 Spring self.


Here's a tip though. If you fall madly for someone, for the love of Hayzeus, please make sure they feel the same way. Or else in the end all you will feel is heartbreak and anger. When I found out she started f*****g with the other guy I GOT SO f*****g PISSED OFF LET ME AT THAT MOFO!

I mean, think happy thoughts...


See what I mean? Love does crazy s**t to you man.



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26 Dec 2015, 7:58 am

seaweed wrote:
there are lots of people now who are choosing nontraditional ways to have love and sex, and there are so many iterations. for instance, my friend is in a "cuckold" relationship with her boyfriend, so she f***s other people and he loves it and encourages it. my partner and I are in love and have been for 6 years, but I play rough (unromantically and nonsexually) with others because he doesn't meet that certain need for me, just as I like him to be a flirt with others because I'm not flirtatious whatsoever and he really enjoys flirting. people in general are becoming much more open to alternative interpersonal relationships, because you're right, strict monogamous love forever everything each person needs never boring happy ending etc. is rare and therefore unrealistic. I don't think this kind of relationship is overrated, it's quite a beautiful thing, but I do think that creative relationship solutions can be beautiful too.


Unromantically and non sexually, how does that work? Just curious.


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26 Dec 2015, 4:40 pm

Relationships are irrational, because love is irrational.

When two persons are in love, they can do things that they reason don´t act, only their impetus.

Do you think love is an illness? I don´t think so, love is natural and something that catch our souls.

Love can be beautiful, but it can hurts too.


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FutureVet
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26 Dec 2015, 10:38 pm

Yes to both (irrational, overrated) but I still want to be in one.

I also feel without having been in a relationship that my opinion is not necessarily set in stone. It could definitely change.


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RobotPirateDinosaurs
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27 Dec 2015, 5:44 pm

FutureVet wrote:
Yes to both (irrational, overrated) but I still want to be in one.

I also feel without having been in a relationship that my opinion is not necessarily set in stone. It could definitely change.


I still want one too even though from my experience they are extremely exhausting. I sorta have a bad attitude about relationships right now cause I just got out of one. I still think if I meet someone who is a good match, it won't be so difficult and draining cause they will understand that I have some special needs and that'll be ok. I have sensory and social overload issues and I don't want to be treated like I need to be changed or I'm not trying hard enough. Love can be f*cking awesome and it should be.