Not all virgins are ugly misogynist clueless idiots.

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Ridiculous how some people believe this. I don't think a guy who is 18 and still a virgin is a loser. Sex isn't everything. 18 is still young. And whoever seriously thinks a guy who is a virgin as a loser is probably very deeply insecure.

True or not, I think that the title implies that the OP has been accused of being those things by other people. Not that it's true or false.

What about 28 or 38 or 48 year old virgins

Although they have no obvious intellectual springboard on them. Perhaps you mean they are only effective on he gullible.

I will not think they are losers. Why would I? I am in my 20's and still one. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, nothing wrong with not being one. Age is irrelevant.

It might be more enlightening to ask about those who, in addition to being virgins at 28, 38 or 48, aren’t so by choice, but because they can’t find a willing partner. Of course, I know I’m about to be scolded by someone claiming the concept of being a virgin and not by choice implies you’re entitled to sex. Gotta be careful acknowledging hot weather in case someone says this implies you’re entitled to a slave to cool you with a fan.

So did I

There seems to be stigma about being a virgin even as young as the 20's, especially for men. In addition to losing appeal as you age, it appears that older virgins are undesirable for whatever reason. You kind of get perceived as... broken.

I don't have a pie chart or anything about this, so take it with a grain of salt.

The only time I was called misogynistic was after I made a post after another woman who decided to flake just before the first date. I am definitely nowhere close to that definition and didn't fit the virgin stereotype except for being utterly clueless about reading women's cues.

I still don't see much of a stigma about being a virgin. One woman immediately flaked after I admitted my inexperience but to %$# with her. I told my Fiancée (and I really mean it) that I wish I could become a virgin all over again.

I think if you said, apropos a stifling hot summer's day, 'Blimey, I'm baking. But not by choice' you'd get some odd looks. And rightly so.

I think the thing is that, given various social/cultural notions and mores, if someone says they are a virgin the assumption is that it's not a state of affairs with which they are happy. It will be understood that they do not wish to be so. That is, in most circumstances, it is unlikely to be a matter of pride.

If they choose to remain one, chances are they'll have a story to tell about it, usually involving a religious revelation, and will do so with the minimal of prompting.

So, adding 'not by choice' is unneccesary. It has, in its excess, an aspect of blame to it, of 'I've done everything feasible under the sun to lose my virginity' - which is unlikely - 'but women just won't play along'. In that sense there is a notion of expectation, and from there entitlement.

You are a virgin. You do not want to be. You say you are a virgin 'not by choice'. This suggests that there is something that is being denied to you. That your virginity is not down to you but to others, and further that someone else is choosing for you to be a virgin - that they wish you to suffer so. The resentment in the phrase 'not by choice' suggests a sense of entitlement. That you are due something, that you are owed something, but it hasn't been forthcoming.

What's the other one... 'Involuntary Celibacy'. Again, it is something happening to You, rather than anything to do with You, sounding almost medical (particularly when abbreviated to 'InCel'). It makes whoever isn't getting laid the victim; a passive, blameless subject. It suggests the 'InCel' did everything right, everything they were asked, everything anyone could, and yet were still refused sex. And it makes the cause whoever is refusing to jump their bones which, in most cases, is going to be All Womankind.

If you want people to be in no doubt that you don't want to be a virgin, something like 'I'm a virgin. I wish I wasnt' is perfectly clear, and doesn't carry a sense of sulky entitlement.

If it wasn't for the constant virgin bashing I get, I wouldn't care about sex at all.

I think we're just getting our knickers in a twist arguing semantics. If someone can say "I'm single by choice and I'm not looking right now", conversely someone can say "I'm single, not by choice and not for want of looking."

Well unfortunately many women see it as a giant red flag " what's so bad about him that no woman would date or sex with him, best to avoid him"

As I already said a hundred of times the expression "not by choice" means that you don't like but you still are and it doesn't necessarily mean that you think you are entitled to someone else's vagina, you people should really stop running around the forum saying such gratuitous and evil assumptions. A guy who asks 10 girls but all reject him is not single by choice for example, end of the story.

No one has a societally produced negative label by choice, that should just be assumed. Because one has problems does not entitle to them to any special treatment, especially when it comes to another person's rights-- namely a female and her body.

The expression 'not by choice' comes with many connotations, whether they are intended or not.

I don't think I can say what I said any clearer. If you can't see it, then so be it.

'I wish I could get a girlfriend' says the same thing, and without any connotations. The odd thing is, 'I'm single, and not by choice' is a strange, clunky way of putting it.