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aspies are not virgins

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AuroraBorealisGazer
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10 Jan 2016, 10:16 pm

100000fireflies wrote:
This is true by diagnostic label, but we're out there... Look for the girls struggling with things a lot more than the other girls, the quirky girls, the girls in jeans not all done up fancy, the girl at a party who goes to the back room where there's a book or guitar, or the girl that you see around with animals but never with many people, and you might find us.


Hey now, some of us prefer dresses and skirts :P . Jeans are so constricting!
But the rest is pretty accurate...if there's a kitty at the party you can bet that's who I'll be hanging around with!



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10 Jan 2016, 11:13 pm

wilburforce wrote:
Grammar Geek wrote:
It's not that easy to find an autistic woman, at least a high-functioning one. Many of them are able to hide it better than males are. You're making it sound like it's incredibly easy to do, which is kind of insulting.


I think a lot more autistic women than you guys realise are members of or at least read these forums, but don't often comment or don't comment at all because they feel left out and discouraged by the things men say about women here (they are often talking about NT women, but all women get lumped together in those kind of complaints). Perhaps if an effort was made to make these forums more welcoming to autistic women by shit-talking about women in general less would make a difference and more autistic women would participate more actively in the forums and it would be easier to find autistic women to talk to that way.


Yes I have noticed that most girls here feel very alienated and also I have noticed theres no attempt to communicate with them. Ill +1 that!



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10 Jan 2016, 11:16 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
It's not that easy to find an autistic woman, at least a high-functioning one. Many of them are able to hide it better than males are. You're making it sound like it's incredibly easy to do, which is kind of insulting.


Maybe its whatever you make it. I have gotten dates with autistic girls just by walking up and saying "I think you are pretty. Want to hang out sometime?"
I know even talking to girls is not easy. I get scared and nervous, especially in public. But I dont know about you but I rarely see that happen with my other autistic friends. Its not easy and I am not the best at it but I like to help people practice and all cause we all got things we need help with.
I am no ladies man but I want my friends to have ladies and myself.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:18 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Just don't think that Autistic girls are heaven because there's no guarantee that it will go any better than with a NT girl.


This is true. But it sure worked out well for me, well much better at least, when I started aiming for autistic girls. I never got far with NT girls but last two autistic girls I dated we were talking about marriage and all that.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:19 pm

rdos wrote:
Grammar Geek wrote:
It's not that easy to find an autistic woman, at least a high-functioning one. Many of them are able to hide it better than males are. You're making it sound like it's incredibly easy to do, which is kind of insulting.


No, it's very easy. Just use the eye contact peculiarity (neurodiverse people look more at people they like).


Yes it can be easy if you make it so. Although that is not always easy. But yea I have gotten dates even when not making eye contact at all lol. I did try to act cool though.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
Magi wrote:
Aspies are not virgins.
Are you trying to say that you can not be a virgin if you're an Aspie?
Magi wrote:
... Aspies and NT's are not meant to be together really...
Says who? Why not?


you're right. I take that back. Ill rephrase and add this instead: When I started going for autistic girls only, is when I started meeting girls that I was really into. their knowledge, beautiful soul, more like me, and easier to talk to.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm a Spectrum Wolfman who's married to an NT and who has mostly dated NTs.


lol I dont know what that means. Did your doc diagnose you with wolfman autism. you're funny. when i get banned tomorrow ill miss your posts.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:28 pm

Outrider wrote:
There's just not as much female aspies here as one might think and if they are, like wilburforce said, they might be discouraged/driven away.

Anyway, it also depends on your geographical location.

As an Australian WP user I've noticed Australian males AND females are rare here in general.

Under 18's/teens are also a bit less common than other demographics - they're here, just not common.

If you're talking about users on this sight, it's already hard for me to find ANY Australian here on WP, let alone a female one. In fact, the only two Australian women I saw on WP were a 43 year old woman and 20-something. I've also only seen two other Aussie males, both 20-somethings.

If you're in the U.S or most of Europe, you're lucky.

Anyway, my only option is real-life, and I've only ever met one aspie female in my entire life.

Yeah yeah, you could say I might come across them in public without realizing, but when I say I've only met one, I mean I've only met one I had the opportunity to get to know better (through school).

Other than that, nothing ever comes up. Not even on the internet, apparently...


Hey man did you ever ask that girl out that was a friend?
I wouldnt worry about being single cause you are still pretty young and got plenty of time.
Yea our kind isnt the most socially outgoing but keep communicating.
Hey man I am routing for you so... I have to say man dont be the nice guy too much. Dont be mean just act like ... like its about you and you dont need any girl and they like that. Nice guys finish last.. unless they seem awesome then they go first.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:29 pm

Magi wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Just don't think that Autistic girls are heaven because there's no guarantee that it will go any better than with a NT girl.


This is true. But it sure worked out well for me, well much better at least, when I started aiming for autistic girls. I never got far with NT girls but last two autistic girls I dated we were talking about marriage and all that.
My 2nd girlfriend was an Aspie & things didn't work out between us cuz she was on of those Aspies who wanted a lot of independence & she was my special interest; she didn't think she wanted a relationship with anyone when she broke up with me. My current girlfriend is on the spectrum & we're on a much more similar level with what we want in our relationship. My 1st girlfriend was NT but she had dyslexia, ADHD & alittle OCD which I also have. The reason things didn't work out is because my OCD caused me to believe things were going on that probably weren't. The reason I never had an NT girlfriend after her is cuz no others ever gave me a chance. My point is that it can be very hit & miss with women on the spectrum & I think it can be very hit & miss with NTs too.


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Last edited by nick007 on 10 Jan 2016, 11:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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10 Jan 2016, 11:30 pm

Scaevitas wrote:
I dated an Aspie woman. She was stupid. I dumped her.

My relationship with her was dull, compared to an NT I've been with. Will I try again if that course of fate takes action? Sure, but if she's a dumbass I will leave her too.

Aspie or no Aspie. Not in for the long haul of typical BS, as that comes from both sides.


lmao



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10 Jan 2016, 11:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
This Site is for all who seek to improve the lot of those with autism.


Yea I just come places to meet people kinda like me. Really I dont belong. Im autistic more than aspergers I know. I dont know why they switched me to aspergers last time. Just cause I am a computer scientist. Thats a stereotype and not a good diagnosis and I think I got shortcutted. At least Ill be on another spectrum when i get that $1000 test from the gov again next week.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:35 pm

Feyokien wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
I think a lot more autistic women than you guys realise are members of or at least read these forums, but don't often comment or don't comment at all because they feel left out and discouraged by the things men say about women here (they are often talking about NT women, but all women get lumped together in those kind of complaints). Perhaps if an effort was made to make these forums more welcoming to autistic women by shit-talking about women in general less would make a difference and more autistic women would participate more actively in the forums and it would be easier to find autistic women to talk to that way.


I actually assumed women were here in equal numbers for vets anyways.

I don't think anyone is saying that all aspies are virgins. I don't even think it endemic to the condition. I'm still a virgin because of nurtured emotional issues, not because I was born with my particular personality.


Yea bro. I meant not all aspies are virgins, or its not a heavy stereotype outside forums so much as things like math and computers. And being a virgin is a pretty awesome thing that is worth keeping for marriage. Especially if you have any kind of religon or whatever. Anyway yea I just saw a large number of virgins here and was pointing out its not a aspie thing, like you say I think Its really a pretty normal thing even NTs deal with.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:37 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
100000fireflies wrote:
This is true by diagnostic label, but we're out there... Look for the girls struggling with things a lot more than the other girls, the quirky girls, the girls in jeans not all done up fancy, the girl at a party who goes to the back room where there's a book or guitar, or the girl that you see around with animals but never with many people, and you might find us.


Hey now, some of us prefer dresses and skirts :P . Jeans are so constricting!
But the rest is pretty accurate...if there's a kitty at the party you can bet that's who I'll be hanging around with!


Yes. The last girl I really really liked or wanted to marry makes her own dresses and they are so cute on her.

Your name and icon are perfect examples of why I am saying autistic girls are straight up rad. No way NT girls are capable of being that cool.



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10 Jan 2016, 11:40 pm

nick007 wrote:
Magi wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Just don't think that Autistic girls are heaven because there's no guarantee that it will go any better than with a NT girl.


This is true. But it sure worked out well for me, well much better at least, when I started aiming for autistic girls. I never got far with NT girls but last two autistic girls I dated we were talking about marriage and all that.
My 2nd girlfriend was an Aspie & things didn't work out between us cuz she was on of those Aspies who wanted a lot of independence & she was my special interest; she didn't think she wanted a relationship with anyone when she broke up with me. My current girlfriend is on the spectrum & we're on a much more similar level with what we want in our relationship. My 1st girlfriend was NT but she had dyslexia, ADHD & alittle OCD which I also have. The reason things didn't work out is because my OCD caused me to believe things were going on that probably weren't. The reason I never had an NT girlfriend after her is cuz no others ever gave me a chance. My point is that it can be very hit & miss with women on the spectrum & I think it can be very hit & miss with NTs too.


Ok yea you are right. It can be anything. I think even alot of NT girls have autism and dont know yet. Anyway yea. I guess I was not talking about ticks like ocd or add but just the general way they think, more open minded. Also I think I feel this way cause they say I am a spectrum mix but I feel heavy association mostly with PDD. PDD is knowing things others dont but more about life than technical stuff so another girl having that would really help you bond and communicate.



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11 Jan 2016, 12:54 am

Magi wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
100000fireflies wrote:
This is true by diagnostic label, but we're out there... Look for the girls struggling with things a lot more than the other girls, the quirky girls, the girls in jeans not all done up fancy, the girl at a party who goes to the back room where there's a book or guitar, or the girl that you see around with animals but never with many people, and you might find us.


Hey now, some of us prefer dresses and skirts :P . Jeans are so constricting!
But the rest is pretty accurate...if there's a kitty at the party you can bet that's who I'll be hanging around with!


Yes. The last girl I really really liked or wanted to marry makes her own dresses and they are so cute on her.

Your name and icon are perfect examples of why I am saying autistic girls are straight up rad. No way NT girls are capable of being that cool.


Thanks :)
I think I'm pretty rad too...though I may be a bit biased :lol:.



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11 Jan 2016, 2:12 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
100000fireflies wrote:
This is true by diagnostic label, but we're out there... Look for the girls struggling with things a lot more than the other girls, the quirky girls, the girls in jeans not all done up fancy, the girl at a party who goes to the back room where there's a book or guitar, or the girl that you see around with animals but never with many people, and you might find us.


Hey now, some of us prefer dresses and skirts :P . Jeans are so constricting!
But the rest is pretty accurate...if there's a kitty at the party you can bet that's who I'll be hanging around with!


Hah, indeed! It was an example of several ors that might point us out; since there's often the comfort over fancy, that means "tomboy" look for some (that is - loose jeans, not those painted on things! :) ).but i fully agree, skirts can be quite comfy.


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