I'm going to Talk to that Guy

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You don't know this guy, but you know his schedule and were waiting around at his work for 4 hours? This seems more like an obsession than anything. You may want to take a step back and consider how this might look to a person that doesn't know you, then adjust your tactic a bit.

Thank You! You made me realize something, I hate myself for what I did. With what I did with the coffee house, I did it before years ago, back then was more worse. How can I be so stupid! I didn't realize what I was doing.

Why? I find that really pleasurable. Once I get to know them better, the mystery about them disappears.

OTOH, I would make sure there is mutual interest before I start to obsess about somebody. Otherwise it's likely to end really bad.

You shouldn't hate yourself for that. Just make sure there is mutual interest first.

I spent 100s of hours on a girl like that, and it can pay off in the end if there is mutual interest. Not everybody is shallow, and some people appreciate determination. Especially NDs.

Keywords, "can" and "if". Some people would be rather uncomfortable at the thought of being obsessed over like that. I know if I discovered a stranger was putting that much effort into talking to me that I'd feel quite uncomfortable and take steps to avoid that person.

Well, the girl in question didn't find it creepy, and she didn't avoid me. Rather, she played games with me, also involving her friends in it. My goal was not just to get to talk to her, I had a serious crush on her.

But, sure, it's a delicate issue, and the keywords "can" and "if" are important.

Thanks for understanding I don't really know if he is interested in me or not, I read in magazine articles about relationships & reading his body language, I can't read a man's body language.

You make it sound pretty bad. Crushes means including some obsession & I don't know his schedule, I happen to see him there & when I was at the coffee house for 4 hours, it only happened once, I wanted to stay out, cuz I didn't want to go back to my apartment.

Why people can make big deals if they don't know the whole story? This is the biggest problem I have with my sister.


I'm taking a break from the coffee house, so I won't be seeing him.

Don't take it as an insult, sometimes perspective is necessary even if it's not quite relevant. Go love with all of your damn heart and be happy. There are plenty of people who will never gather the nerve to go do it but wish they could. Those that don't gather the determination to do it like you will never get who/what they want.

You have to ask yourself though, why are you doing it? Just to prove it to yourself or because you really want a chance to get to know this person? Are you open to talking tactics and what you've done/tried leading up to this?

if i were you, i'd go back and try again.

I will go to the coffee house maybe next week, I need time for myself to do other things. I just forget things, I was in a pretty terrible place when I loss my mom & now I'm living on my own for the first time without her being here & that is sooo scary & I can get so overwhelmed that why I'm hyperventilating. I been living on my own for 5 months, I'm slowly getting my life back. I was living on my own before for 6 years, when I lost my mom, I moved back to my mom's house to be close to her, I was living with my sister & my nephew, & then later my drunken brother-in-law moved in, it was a nightmare living with my sister & her soon to be ex. It's still hard living without my mom, I know she is with me, I can feel her spirit & sometimes I can hear her talk For some reason, I felt stronger when she was alive, she is helping me move on. I just forgot what I was doing. I'm putting that guy on hold.

If you go there again, try to catch his eyes while you are sitting there. If he doesn't look your way from time to time then it is unlikely that he is interested. Also remember that people working at such places are required to be nice to their customers, so he being friendly to you as a customer will mean nothing.

If a guy look at you that means he interested in you? I think he is interested in me, months ago, I think he did try to get my attention & I could talk to him, I didn't know months ago. I don't remember when I first saw him, I think it was in August, I just moved on my own. I wasn't coming in the coffee house too much back then, when I did go to the coffee house, I was in line for someone to take my order & one person was there, the guy said something when he saw me, I think he was happy to me. I dropped something twice & I saw him looking at me then later I coughed, he looked at me. Last week, I was walking home & I saw that guy behind me, I cross the street & then I lost my balance, I fell down & he saw it, I think he was worried about me, when I got up, I saw him looking at me, falling down wasn't the only bad thing, I also hyperventilated. I went to the coffee house the next day, someone else took my order, he was doing something else & then after that, he came over, he asked me something, he acted like nothing happened. Also last week, he was looking my way unless he was looking out the front door. Could this be the true? He is interested in me & wanting to get to know me. I'm scared that I'm believing in something that may not be true, I been hurt soooooo many times, I been hurt by men, friends, people that were almost friends, I been hurt by my dad & by a doctor. I'm too scared to see if this is true about him. What should I do? This is hopeless.

When I go to other places, they are not friendly like him, this guy is too friendly to customers, he asked how are they, but doesn't talk to me, he only talk to me when he takes my order.

Remember this guy works at a Coffee house (which is a service chain), one of his main tasks is therefore to "take care" of each person that drops by there, by that i mean to service (help, interact and attent to) each customer. For all people that works in the service field of work, it is very crucial to have the customers feel taken care of while visiting, to make each customer feel like they are seen and heard, each service providing chain (such as for example coffee shops) relays on this to keep their business on track financially and for them to earn an income from it. Smiling at, being friendly, talking and listening to, as well as being patient with and polite to their each of their customers is therefore a qualification each person working within works of service is expected to act out while at work.

What im trying to say is, don't over analyse this guy's interactions with you, yeah chances are that he could be interested in you, but very possibly he's just doing what is expected of him while at work.

(sorry if i misspell any words here and there, english isn't my first language)