Ladies, how do I look and what can I do?
You'll notice most of the people telling you to change are men. They may have felt insecure and felt they needed to conform at some point along the way. You will find that there are plenty of nice and attractive girls that don't want a guy who dresses and styles his hair like every other guy. In fact many are turned off by that kind of guy.
Based on looks, you are the type of guy I would date. However, I recall seeing many posts you have written, and due to the content I would not date you. So if you are running into problems finding a relationship, it may be because of your outlook and your approach.
Sorry you feel that way, that is why I am taking an approach to change. As for my previous posts people go through rough times, nothing I can do to change what happened. Hopefully in the future women like you might enjoy a more upbeat me which is what I am striving for, I would not date you either.
You'll notice most of the people telling you to change are men. They may have felt insecure and felt they needed to conform at some point along the way. You will find that there are plenty of nice and attractive girls that don't want a guy who dresses and styles his hair like every other guy. In fact many are turned off by that kind of guy.
Based on looks, you are the type of guy I would date. However, I recall seeing many posts you have written, and due to the content I would not date you. So if you are running into problems finding a relationship, it may be because of your outlook and your approach.
Sorry you feel that way, that is why I am taking an approach to change. As for my previous posts people go through rough times, nothing I can do to change what happened. Hopefully in the future women like you might enjoy a more upbeat me which is what I am striving for, I would not date you either.

The_Face_of_Boo
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The_Face_of_Boo
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You'll notice most of the people telling you to change are men.
And it's to older men who he should most listen when it comes to this kind of advice.
We are people of his same gender, and many of us went through this kind of transformation, so we know better.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Feb 2016, 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
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You'll notice most of the people telling you to change are men. They may have felt insecure and felt they needed to conform at some point along the way. You will find that there are plenty of nice and attractive girls that don't want a guy who dresses and styles his hair like every other guy. In fact many are turned off by that kind of guy.
Based on looks, you are the type of guy I would date. However, I recall seeing many posts you have written, and due to the content I would not date you. So if you are running into problems finding a relationship, it may be because of your outlook and your approach.
Sorry you feel that way, that is why I am taking an approach to change. As for my previous posts people go through rough times, nothing I can do to change what happened. Hopefully in the future women like you might enjoy a more upbeat me which is what I am striving for, I would not date you either.
I've loved your addition there, it shows you are growing a better backbone - that was a good tit for tat, judgmental based on little info vs judgmental based on little info, pre-rejection vs pre-rejection*.
Keep it up, keep your chin up.
*pre-rejection is a term I've invented for people who throw something "I would not date you X" without even checking whether X would even want to date them or even find them attractive, as if they take it for granted that X would beg them for dating. I don't like those people.
goldfish21
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Geeks are the most unattractive stereotype in media: awkward, mama-boys, dorky, virgin, basement dweller, anti-social...etc.
With this, you won't have much luck in attracting girls, not at all. And I guess the reason why you made this thread is because you are starting to realize that, you are starting to suspect your ability to attract girls.
The good news though, you're veryyoung, BaneBear- you are blessed to hear that too early and hopefully to be convinced to change.
Change BaneBear, change your style, be way less geeky, at least in appearance.
Get to the gym, get a shape, get better glasses or do eye surgery if possible, change the haircut, get hobbies besides your geeky hobbies, wear perfectly tailored clothes (get rid of those baggy ones)...etc
Change BaneBear, change. Start now.
While he may look a bit geeky, whether that's good or bad depends on location location location. It may be a bad thing where you are, if very masculine strong built guys are the ones who get all the girls most of the time. But here where we have quite the tech-sector, looking geeky isn't necessarily a bad thing at all - so long as you don't look like a complete dork with no sense of style.
I wouldn't lose the glasses or be worried about wearing glasses, either. They look decent vs. horribly ill suited to his face & purchased only because they were the only ones he could afford to pay for. Glasses also instantly make people look smarter, as well as draw attention to your face so people pay attention to you when you're talking. I wear glasses and don't mind it at all. I quite like the way my glasses look on me as well as the reactions others have to me when wearing them - thus my willingness to spend $1000 on them in the first place. Again, could be a location location location thing, but here, glasses are not necessarily an aesthetic downfall.
I agree with the first response or two, maybe wear a bit more "stylish" t-shirts & a bit more of a "trendy" haircut. But otherwise you look ok. Hitting the gym and eating right can never hurt, so at least you've got that already going. Geek can be chic.. just don't dress like a basement dwelling gamer slob when you go out. No need to spend huge $$ on a wardrobe, but being a "stylish geek" could score you major attention. People may get the impression you have an interesting and decently paying tech-sector job vs. assuming you're just some random nerd. Further, without overdoing it like some teenager thinking his wardrobe has to look like it came out of some mall store catalogue, dressing a bit more stylishly projects confidence - and that's a good thing if you're seeking to attract someone's attention.
*disclaimer: I don't care about fashion/style 98% of the time. I wear clean good condition t-shirts and jeans when I go out with friends. I'll dress up nicer if I'm going out to a party or event or something. My Monday-Friday thrift store jeans, t-shirts, very worn plaid zippered hoodie, tattered black rain suit, toque, nearly 20 year old backpack, and steel toed boots, complemented by my long full beard, sometimes has others appear to assume I'm homeless.


Also, thrift stores aren't necessarily anti-fashion. Myself and friends have scored some wicked good deals on higher end fashionable clothes at thrift stores. They can be a great source of inexpensive near-new clothing to try out new looks without wasting a bunch of money on full price retail stuff.
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goldfish21
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Better. At least that shirt is a bit better fitting than the one in your previous pic. Fit is far more important than brand or price, IMO. Clothes that FIT someone RIGHT make them look good in those clothes, period. It's funny seeing some people wearing certain expensive trendy brands that are CLEARLY very ill fitting for their body shape because it's obvious that they're ONLY wearing them for the brand recognition and appeal because they are insecure about their appearance.
I'm not sure if you have very long arms or not (I do) but anyways, for collared dress shirts I prefer Tommy Hilfiger because they have very long sleeves as standard AND have nicely tapered/fitted bodies vs. a standard dress shirt having sleeves that are too short & a body that's super wide that looks like a sail unless you're very overweight and can fill it out like a typical American. In store (here in Canada) they're not exactly cheap, but they can be bought on sale or online for a reasonable price - especially in the USA. Whether Tommy Hilfiger or another brand with a ) ( sort of side cut fitted tapered look, I highly recommend you try one on and see how you like it - especially if you prefer to rock the untucked look since the bottoms of fitted shirts are shaped and hemmed nicely and intended to be worn untucked. They just look.. better vs. the typical straight cut down the sides and across the front/back, especially on thinner people.
They look fine. Maybe not The Best that a pair of glasses could look on you, but definitely not bad at all. I'd keep them on if I were you.
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Chickadeesingingonthewrongplanet
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You look friendly, alert and cheerful.
And you have a twinkle in your eye. All good.
I think you look fine!
And:
radiating a sense of confidence and contentment with who you are is the most important of all. Anything
that helps with being able to project that is a plus.
In general, I think that as long as personal hygiene is okay, it's more important to wear the
things that make you feel fantastic.
However, you are the age of the merciless peer group are you? So
I suppose that making your peace and compromises with what's cool
among those your age might be something to consider.
Earlier on here someone posted I look like a 6/10, which is not a good thing in my opinion. 6/10 is a D on a test to me, I get that is just one person but frankly on average I look just average. Being called cute is nice but I wanna be sexy, since that is what tends to work out the best. Cute is like a puppy, girls like puppies, they wanna be friends with puppies, but they don't want to date or copulate with puppies. Sexy is a mate, someone they wanna be with and mate with.
goldfish21
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One persons 6 is another persons 8 is another persons 2. The only thing that matters is that you find someone who's perception of you is as their 7, 8, 9, or 10.
Similar with adjectives like cute or sexy. There are some people I would describe as "sexy" that I wouldn't want to sleep with, and others I'd call "cute" that are much more my type. Hypothetically, if a survey of many people said you were "cute" vs "sexy" then you'd quite simply have to find someone who is attracted to "cute" vs "sexy." Who cares, though? Labels, adjectives, blah blah - all just words. In the end you simply have to find someone who's attracted to you. It certainly doesn't hurt to do things like exercise & a change of wardrobe to increase your chances, though.
edit: Same thing goes for looking young. Others have posted saying it's likely going to be detrimental as many girls prefer a more mature/older looking guy. But not all. Some prefer younger & younger looking guys. You simply need to find someone attracted to you, even IF it holds true that the majority of girls might prefer an older appearing guy. Who cares about any of them, really? The one(s) your after are attracted to you, simple as that.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Ladies, stop promoting the fake confidence.
Confidence is the consequece of good competence.
When you get competent at something, you start feeling confident at it, that gives a lasting genuine confidence.
However too much of baseless confidence is dangerous, look at the candidates of singing conquests like American idol for example and look how many overconfident untalented candidates end up making them a mockery to the whole world, of course their confidence would be crushed instantely, they got their confidence before because probably their parents kept telling them they're good while they're not.
Sometimes I think you confuse confidence with "extrovert and charismatic".