What should my first message be on a dating site?

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Okay, okay ... how about "That picture was taken when I was ten. I had to scan it off a milk carton ..."

You may as well get the real important things out of the way, I say.

I mean, "favorite book?" Bah.

Or,

"Do you collect the discarded toenails of people because it gives you sexual pleasure like it does me?" This is what you need to know to determine if the match is solid.

Now this is the kind of message that would get my reply!

This would probably get me to laugh, but I would also assume it was sent to 99 other people (whose profile may or may not have been read) and so I would not reply.

(To a very gorgeous girl).

"Hi Miss lottery, I am probably the 10002564th guy messaging you here, right?"

Subject: :"My 18+ stripping pictures".

Message content: "I made you check, you pervert".

The version that I would send to yellowtmarin.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not a cannibal. You?

PS: Yes, I sent this to plenty of women before, problem? :trollface:"

I met my soon-to-be Wife on eHarmony and I still agree that the overwhelming majority of women on these sites are not serious, especially the ones who state they are serious and looking for a relationship. It drove me crazy: sure I am a little 'weird' in real life but how can someone get the vibe I was 'weird' from boring small talk?

It took years before it sunk in that real life women are almost nothing like online women. All it did was give me a bad attitude and a warped sense that women are.... warped. I found my match in spite of online dating, not because of it as she already had her eye on me before we met. To be honest if it wasn't for eHarmony's guided system I would have never messaged her. We had no common interests, were way off in age and she was not fan of hockey or other sports. We were engaged after a few months and still have yet to have a single fight (and she is a very stubborn and independent feminist!).

For the record, all the women who wrote me first always wrote one sentence messages. If you are going the online route, there is no reason to stretch out a first message, especially given the abysmal response rate. In my case, out of the 30-40 women I messaged first, only ONE responded with anything meaningful. I was NOT doing the shotgun method either: these were probably the top 10% in my eyes.

^^ Yeah, and there are those who demand in their profiles for super creative first messages.

Ie. If you are not of my type and you don't message me with something creative and out-of-the box then I won't reply you.

Very high sense of entitlement.

Fear not, for if you received something from me, only you would be privy to the contents.

It also wouldn't be on a dating site.

Perhaps on your doorstep.

Haha like a dead rat? I do love a thoughtful gift.

Hi I was also on ok cupid and I wouldnt worry about it too much. My now boyfriends first message to me was 'I don't know what to say but I really wanted to message you... so here it is'. I found it really sweet

picking out something you have in common like a common video game you both like is also a good idea. For example : ' in noticed on your profile you really like mass effect, did you here they are currently making another one?'

This way they can respond more in depth rather then a short response like 'I'm alright'.

That gift on your doorstep would be my brain in a box.

I apparently don't need it.

Ooh, a literal 'thoughtful' gift, even better!

I don't know about others, but I figure you should give to people, such as the first [and last] message, something worthy of what the possibilities can entail and of their infinite uniqueness (no one will ever be like them or anyone else). Which would be uniquely personal, and to hopefully contain something that may uplift someone's day, no matter if they want to "date" you or not. There's already enough pain to go around to get upset with in the dating game.

If you can make someone feel unique and brighter, that's all that matters as far as I go.

Well, that's what I figure. I don't do the dating site thingy.

Pup, how's it going with your first messages?
Have you sent any out since?