Attracting The Wrong Types

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People tend to settle for what is readily available. Only a person in demand can afford to be picky for superficial reasons like height, weight, looks, etc. Otherwise you have to be flexible. Have standards, but make sure that they are realistic, and are based on substantive qualities.

Normally the best you can do in this situation is to move on. She has a boyfriend and you'll waste much mental energy on a woman who already has someone else. Waiting for her relationship to end is usually a bad idea as well. Unfortunately in dating good things don't happen to those who wait, but to those who act. Also you have to consider if she actually sees you as someone she could be romantic with. You seem to feel that she doesn't, and knowing that can actually help you move on. Most in demand women are constantly on the receiving end of male attention. They can afford to be picky.

Sadly I've made many of same mistakes I'm advising you against in my past. Don't feel down. It hurts, but most of us have experienced this pain at least once. You're not alone.

Good luck.

I try not to be too superficial by setting my standards too high. But personality-wise the people I run into are the opposite.

Ironically, they repel me while I attract them.

How? No one's forcing you to date them. Why do you feel compelled to keep going out with them if they have such noxious personalities?

My guess: You are unattractive. Therefore, you attract unattractive partners.



Here's a way to break the cycle. Stop being friends with these women. They are not attracted to you, but they are using you for the emotional support that they don't get from their boyfriends, to whom they are sexually attracted. Because of saps like you, women are able to "cheat" and get the best of both worlds.

Interestingly, a girl who was interested
in me seemed to believe that the opposite
was the case, and that attractive people
have difficulty finding attractive partners.

Primarily a matter of the most attractive
females end up with the most aggressive
males. The aggressiveness comes to make
up for various image issues. Then, the remaining
females become more aggressive. 'Course, she
counted herself in the attractive females category,
and I'm not sure it was really that true.

Nah, attractive females always have attractive boyfriends.
Why wouldnt they ?, they have tons of guys who want to get with them so why settle for less ?
I know this is superficial, but it is also the hard truth.

Yes being agressive also helps.
Females like macho type guys, guys who make them laugh, guys that have lots of storys to tel.
Guys with lots of experience outside of theyr house and computer.
Most of them like self confident guys who have it all figured out.
Ofcourse there is also that few that like the more shy types and like taking the innitiative.
But trust me that is a small minority.

Besides this there are also the types that go for people with money.
So having money also does attract some females like a magnet.
But i don't think most people posting here are that loaded aniways.

You're looking at things like an RPG game, just put alot of points into say "Charisma" and suddenly everybody likes you, but it doesn't work that way, different people have different standards and different interests and you have to conform to those interests and standards and that's the hard truth.

Your belief is incredibly black and white and sadly it's all too common, you think "Oh if only I had this this and this I'd be happy and content blah blah blah", frankly it's nauseating.

I tend not to attract anybody. Ever.

Even that mystery Valentine I had for three years at work was probably a cruel joke...

Doesn't it just suck when people do that? Like we can't figure out that it's either pity or a prank.

Dear NTs: Either include us or don't, but don't patronize us. Please.

Yeah that's...not accurate

I've been taking the first step by rejecting requests on websites like Myspace and Facebook.



My phony personality I used to use to socialize better has fed all this. I've started to be less passive, since. Some people were really attracted to me, though.

However, I've known a few people were not attracted to me and used me. A fake name or number was used in both cases. This is rare.

Dude are you that stupid ?
In case you hadn't noticed, this isn't a self pitty story.
I have no problems finding a girlfriend and i have one currently.
So what's with this oh if i had this and that bullcrap story.
Charisma and a good sence of humour are incredibly important trust me.

You're post just seemed that typical my life is a horrible mess whine that's all.
Well that's pretty sad then.
Good for you, maybe you should have explained that.
Your "advice" sounds alot like the bleak cr*p that gets thrown around here alot in my opinion, people with no experience giving up before they've hardly even started then coming on and trying to get people to see how horribly pointless dating is because women are demonic creatures that will only use you or whatever.
Not in my experience.

Also bull. Unless you mean a lot more by attractive than
mere physical appearance - like money, arrogance,
and other such attributes. I've seen a lot of really
attractive women with guys that seem way out
of their league.

Like I said, she had a pretty high opinion of her
looks, and was probably pretty upset that her
housemate was the one who caught me.
But, it was her own fault, as I was
chasing her first, and she kind
of felt sorry for her friend.

Frankly, I thought that her bf was pretty
attractive too - but I guess he just wasn't
her type.