Mother in law thing: is this normal?

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I had two separate experiences with significant others whose mothers were very present in their lives, who turned out to be completely helpless. Stopped working, wouldn't clean... of course, I was dating narcissists [modeled on my father] then.

Something I always try [and struggle] to remember is that both people present in a relationship define the relationship.
He could object to her behavior - draw a boundary... and, all told, that may be part of the reason he's bought a house and is leaving the proverbial nest.

So, just because his mother wakes him and his brother up every morning - not necessarily bad.

It could be, like, a little ritual that is a remnant of their childhoods which makes them feel loved and supported.

Given my past experiences, if you are concerned, I would recommend examining the following:
1) Does he tell mom things about your relationship which make you uncomfortable, even if you ask him not to?
2) Does he expect her to do things for him (especially unstated things), and complain if she does not?
3) Does he treat her inappropriately (yelling, etc.) when she "mothers" him, rather than state his boundaries to her calmly?
4) Does he not know how to take care of himself (and especially, does he say he "can't" or that he "likes the way she does xyz"): can he not cook his own meals, wash his own clothes, do his own taxes, pay his own bills, clean?

...assuming, of course, he has the executive functioning capacity to theoretically be capable of those things.
Which, from your post, sounds likely.

You said she is a bit overbearing, and it really could just be that she is a bit overbearing, especially since she is facing an empty nest.
If I were you, I would feel encroached upon by someone giving wake up calls like that... but he may not.

Ultimately, I think you should be able to talk to him about behaviors of hers that bother you. When you do, you should feel like he is respectfully listening to you. He may not agree with you, but he should consider your feelings (at least as much as he considers hers), and he should try to compromise if necessary.
If you can have a healthy conversation about her behaviors, I think that's a good sign.

Thanks for your advices guys!

I have a different point of view on this. @OP I don't think your mother-in-law's relationship with her sons is unhealthy but I can well imagine your boyfriend's family functions differently than your own. From personal acquaintance I know that European men very often continue to live with their families until marriage. In North America, this is much more frowned on. I believe you are not originally from Europe so your reaction may be largely cultural.

As you have been together for 1.5 years, then you should know if you want to continue to be together. This does not seem like a good reason to end things and of course there are serious limits to how much you can change people.

It sounds to me as though your mother-in-law is actually trying to please you, she must very much care that you should think well of her and she probably considers you a bit exotic which makes her less sure of herself in this situation. I know how hard it is to empathize with another person's situation but I think this is how she feels - easier for me to recognize due to my age.

Please try to keep your mind open about this!

What you are saying is incorrect - men in Western and Northern Europe tend to Move out relatively quick, compared to the rest of the world. About my heritage: my mom is from the Caribbean (where People tend to stay with their parents much longer/have extend Family households) and my father is European. This makes me 50% European by origin and All European by upbriging/nationality.

I do think his mother is trying to please me in some ways but can't imagine a communication mismatch because of my percieved 'culture'.

So thanks for expressing An alternatieve view, I don't believe this to hold ground though.