Why is everyone here obsessed with attitude

Page 2 of 4 [ 63 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

awkward facepalm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,114
Location: lonely

21 Jul 2016, 7:44 pm

why mods edit my posts



B19
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,993
Location: New Zealand

21 Jul 2016, 7:50 pm

You mean you don't want a future partner to have had many partners previously? It's fine to say so.

Try to avoid using very sexist words to describe your views, or editing may occur. Please don't repeat repost what you wrote a fourth time, it will be removed again and may incur a warning.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,953

21 Jul 2016, 7:57 pm

Perhaps the biggest problem for Aspie guys in their 20s is that they can't tell when girls are hitting on them.
How can you hook up when you don't know who wants to desperately hook up with you?

If you are lucky you will get better at spotting the clues as you get older.

OTOH, complaining that all the potential partners who do hit on you aren't pretty enough is an attitude problem.



anagram
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,433
Location: 4 Nov 2012

21 Jul 2016, 8:05 pm

i think the biggest problem for a lot of aspie guys is obsessively analyzing things from a superficial perspective when superficial contact is exactly what they're bad at


_________________
404


TomS
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2016
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 383
Location: Pennsylvania

21 Jul 2016, 8:08 pm

Jacoby wrote:
Anyone notice a lot of these bomb throwing pot stirring threads seem to be the OP's first and often times only post?


Yes, and have seen it often here and elsewhere. I interpret it as someone with an issue stuck up their chimney, or someone who just likes controversy but has to move forums frequently as a result.

Its the opposite of someone trying to find a like-minded community and perhaps a friend.



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

21 Jul 2016, 11:19 pm

BTDT wrote:
Perhaps the biggest problem for Aspie guys in their 20s is that they can't tell when girls are hitting on them.
How can you hook up when you don't know who wants to desperately hook up with you?

If you are lucky you will get better at spotting the clues as you get older.
And then when the aspie guys reach their 30's and learn the skill of casual/superficial approaches, all the women their age are in a mad rush to settle down, get married, and have kids, and no longer want to just date and have fun.

It's the main reason I stopped bothering with dating since last year. This mad rush to settle down is very terrifying.



wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

22 Jul 2016, 12:16 am

Aspie1 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
Perhaps the biggest problem for Aspie guys in their 20s is that they can't tell when girls are hitting on them.
How can you hook up when you don't know who wants to desperately hook up with you?

If you are lucky you will get better at spotting the clues as you get older.
And then when the aspie guys reach their 30's and learn the skill of casual/superficial approaches, all the women their age are in a mad rush to settle down, get married, and have kids, and no longer want to just date and have fun.

It's the main reason I stopped bothering with dating since last year. This mad rush to settle down is very terrifying.


Not all women, or all women in their 30s, want to have kids. It's like you are incapable of making a post without making a stupid baseless and sexist generalisation about women. Are you seriously incapable of having a conversation that doesn't involve talking s**t about women and PUA/"alpha" garbage?

Also, on behalf of women in their 30s everywhere, thank you for not dating anymore if this is your attitude. Those of us who are looking for a decent guy to NOT have kids with won't have to sort through you to get to someone who's not going to only see them as a sexist stereotype.


_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War

(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Arizona

22 Jul 2016, 12:33 am

TomS wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
Anyone notice a lot of these bomb throwing pot stirring threads seem to be the OP's first and often times only post?


Yes, and have seen it often here and elsewhere. I interpret it as someone with an issue stuck up their chimney, or someone who just likes controversy but has to move forums frequently as a result.

Its the opposite of someone trying to find a like-minded community and perhaps a friend.


I think it is usually more a poster here that made another account that thinks they're playing puppet master and gets a kick out of it or some previously banned user.

I wish this board had better more modern software, there is so much they could do to make this forum better. Maybe not being able to post until you made an introductry thread or at least not be able to create thread, that would certainly help with these drive by trolls and spammers. A working ignore button obviously as well!



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

22 Jul 2016, 12:37 am

wilburforce wrote:
Not all women, or all women in their 30s, want to have kids. It's like you are incapable of making a post without making a stupid baseless and sexist generalisation about women. Are you seriously incapable of having a conversation that doesn't involve talking s**t about women and PUA/"alpha" garbage?
You have no idea how wrong you are this time. I totally respect women in a platonic sense. I even have friends (albeit casual friends through social groups) who are women. We play sports, go bowling, and occasionally dance together. They said multiple times they want me to keep coming to the group. But because they're just friends, I can socialize with them with no fear whatsoever.

And while "not all" women in their 30's want to have kids, all my long-time friends' girlfriends sure want to have kids. At least give me credit for learning to get along with them and no longer feeling ill at ease around them.



wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

22 Jul 2016, 12:50 am

Aspie1 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
Not all women, or all women in their 30s, want to have kids. It's like you are incapable of making a post without making a stupid baseless and sexist generalisation about women. Are you seriously incapable of having a conversation that doesn't involve talking s**t about women and PUA/"alpha" garbage?
You have no idea how wrong you are this time. I totally respect women in a platonic sense. I even have friends (albeit casual friends through social groups) who are women. We play sports, go bowling, and occasionally dance together. They said multiple times they want me to keep coming to the group. But because they're just friends, I can socialize with them with no fear whatsoever.

And while "not all" women in their 30's want to have kids, all my long-time friends' girlfriends sure want to have kids. At least give me credit for learning to get along with them and no longer feeling ill at ease around them.


If you respect women so much then why can't you talk about them without making sexist generalisations? Your actions (constantly making sexist generalisations about women here) belie your description of yourself as being respectful of women. Can you not see that just because your friends' girlfriends want kids doesn't make it OK for you to say all women are like them? This is not what respect is; you use the word respect but I begin to doubt if you know what it means.


_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War

(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)


anagram
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,433
Location: 4 Nov 2012

22 Jul 2016, 12:54 am

"i have nothing against women. or gays or blacks or anyone really. i even keep one of each in a freezer at home to prove how much i love to be around them"

:lol:


_________________
404


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

22 Jul 2016, 8:27 am

You're talking like people who don't want kids are everywhere, and I'm just so stupid that I keep missing them. That's far from true. The majority of women in their 30's want kids very much. It's nothing bad; it's just basic biology. And the ones who don't want kids are hiding or are too young for me :(. So dating has become highly terrifying, because I worry that a woman will say she wants to settle down with me, or worse, get herself pregnant with my "material" without my consent. Heck, last year, after I kissed a woman on a first date, she ranted for 20 minutes how she's 34 and her time is running out! Which I interpreted to mean "biological clock"/marriage, and it scared the daylights out of me. That's when I decided not to call her again, and to drop out of the dating scene.

Oh, and anagram, I see what you did there :).



anagram
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,433
Location: 4 Nov 2012

22 Jul 2016, 2:51 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Oh, and anagram, I see what you did there :).

:mrgreen: well i'm glad you didn't take offense then

if you don't want to come across as misogynistic, then you really need to review the way how you react when people interpret you as such. your previous reply instantly evoked that "freezer" image in my head. obviously, i did take a little bit of poetic license (especially with the macabre element of it... :lol:), but that was what you sounded like to me. "i even have black friends", for instance, is one of the most classically offensive and racist things you can say when you're accused of being racist. it implies that black people aren't regular people, and that you have black friends despite their being black, as if you're doing them a magnanimous favor

sometimes it's just a matter of wording. everybody gets uneasy when it comes to issues of discrimination, and it's easy to end up saying the wrong thing, simply because you're overthinking. but most of the time it's not just wording, but essentially a matter of what you consider as fairness, respect and so on between people from different backgrounds with different attributes than your own. in other words, it's essentially a matter of attitude instead -- bingo! we're back on topic :D

you're like a woman-repellent. because you're ugly? because you're stupid? no. it's because you have a glaring resentment against women in general, and probably the only people who don't pick up on that (or don't care about it) are the ones who are too self-involved to notice it. those are the people you'll attract


_________________
404


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,157
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

22 Jul 2016, 4:01 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
Not all women, or all women in their 30s, want to have kids. It's like you are incapable of making a post without making a stupid baseless and sexist generalisation about women. Are you seriously incapable of having a conversation that doesn't involve talking s**t about women and PUA/"alpha" garbage?
You have no idea how wrong you are this time. I totally respect women in a platonic sense. I even have friends (albeit casual friends through social groups) who are women. We play sports, go bowling, and occasionally dance together. They said multiple times they want me to keep coming to the group. But because they're just friends, I can socialize with them with no fear whatsoever.

And while "not all" women in their 30's want to have kids, all my long-time friends' girlfriends sure want to have kids. At least give me credit for learning to get along with them and no longer feeling ill at ease around them.


But from you're posts I'd imagine you assume if they were in a relationship with a guy they'd morph into boring women who never like to go out and have fun and only go to mudane family gatherings and fancy dinners, its like you think only women not in a relationship can have fun or like to go out for drinks and things like that. Also you have to stop focusing on your friends and their girlfriends clearly they have different preferences and goals than you.


_________________
Metal never dies. \m/


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

22 Jul 2016, 11:01 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
But from you're posts I'd imagine you assume if they were in a relationship with a guy they'd morph into boring women who never like to go out and have fun and only go to mudane family gatherings and fancy dinners, its like you think only women not in a relationship can have fun or like to go out for drinks and things like that. Also you have to stop focusing on your friends and their girlfriends clearly they have different preferences and goals than you.
But from my post, it's 100% true. Let me share a personal account to help understand why I believe it to be true.

Sometime in May, my two close friends, their girlfriends, and me were supposed to meet at my friend's apartment and drive a few towns over to a karaoke bar. Now, I love karaoke. It lets me vent out work stress and life frustrations by singing aggressive hard rock songs. Not to mention, karaoke is something I can do as a 5th wheel without looking and feeling like a pathetic loser.

So I show up at my friend's apartment around 8:00 PM, knowing we're supposed to leave at 9:00 PM. We hang out, drink beers (except the driver, who was one of the girlfriends), and soon enough, it's 8:55 PM. When I ask my friend, he says: "We'll go in a few minutes, once the girls are done talking." "A few minutes" pass, and its 9:20 PM. My other friend tells me to be patient, and soon, it's 9:45 PM. The girls keep talking and talking and talking. I stupidly decide to give people the benefit of doubt, and continue waiting. It's 10:30 PM! Then the girls decide they want to stay home and relax (which they've already been doing for 2 goddamn hours!! !), and the guys give in without question. That's when I permanently lose respect for my friends, and vow to stay away from LTR's until I'm old and boring myself.

Oh, and to get the thread back on to original topic, experiences shape attitude, not the other way around.



anagram
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,433
Location: 4 Nov 2012

22 Jul 2016, 11:16 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Oh, and to get the thread back on to original topic, experiences shape attitude, not the other way around.

well, okay then. it sounds like you have decided you have no power over your own choices, which implies you've also decided you're not responsible for them. from now on i'll just assume i'm talking to a brick wall whenever i bump into you anywhere around here. good luck!


_________________
404