When and how to approach a stranger

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nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 7:56 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

John:

If you play guitar (well) in the street, by a river, in a park, you have a better chance.

Better chance at what - getting chump change? I'd be thinking that he's homeless, Mr. K.

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rdos
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07 Aug 2016, 8:02 am

nurseangela wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

John:

If you play guitar (well) in the street, by a river, in a park, you have a better chance.

Better chance at what - getting chump change? I'd be thinking that he's homeless, Mr. K.

Yes, and NTs don't like the homeless for relationships, so he'd be out of luck.

At a park, with an ND, I think I'd have a much better chance with the eye contact game, but then I would need some way to arrange repeats, which would be hard to do unless I knew she went there regularly.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2016, 8:03 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I believe success is rare when one approaches strangers in the street. Most people will treat you decently...but as for dates: usually no dice.

Join clubs, attend lectures, get introduced....much better than cold approaching people.

I agree with all of this.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Aug 2016, 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:04 am

rdos wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

rdos wrote:

John 35 Alabama wrote:

This is for anyone trying to learn the social norms, not for anyone trying to avoid them. Sorry rdos.

Then you should remove the point about seeking NDs or Aspies, because that will not happen.

Besides, I'm not trying to avoid social norms. I'm advocating for seeking relationships the natural way as much as possible to avoid ND-NT incompatibility problems. But if you want to get together with NTs, go ahead with your method. It reminds me somewhat of catcalling, even if you probably plan to do it alone.

If I wanted to meet an Aspie I would go to an Aspie website. Oh wait! That's where I am! :mrgreen:

I thought you didn't want to meet another Aspie for a relationship, so why are you still here? :mrgreen:

What gave you that idea? I've never been in a relationship with an Aspie - just friendships.

It's getting hard to post cause I get signed off everytime I change screens again. Crap.

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
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Darn, I flunked.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2016, 8:06 am

Socializing in a grocery store is extremely weird.

Seriously, no one does it.

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:07 am

rdos wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Who better than me to tell him about how to approach an NT? :mrgreen:

Hey, that rhymed!

I'm telling you the grocery store. I'm a difficult one to approach so if I say that I would talk to a strange guy in a certain place then it's likely that that place is a pretty good setup and neutral spot.

But would you agree to date him? :wink:

BTW, I actually managed to meet an ND girl outdoors, but it wasn't cold-approaching, and there was no talking taking place either. And she was not alone.

How do you know? Was she wearing an "I'm an Aspie" sign on her forehead?

_________________
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
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Darn, I flunked.

rdos
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07 Aug 2016, 8:09 am

nurseangela wrote:

rdos wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Who better than me to tell him about how to approach an NT? :mrgreen:

But would you agree to date him? :wink:

BTW, I actually managed to meet an ND girl outdoors, but it wasn't cold-approaching, and there was no talking taking place either. And she was not alone.

How do you know? Was she wearing an "I'm an Aspie" sign on her forehead?

I got to know her after a few years of gameplaying. :mrgreen:

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Socializing in a grocery store is extremely weird.

Seriously, no one does it.

Don't listen to me then Boo. I talked to a guy a couple months ago in a grocery Isle who was looking for something and we were laughing too. Great opening.

That's probably why I don't meet anyone - I'm not going to go to any of those places Mr. K. mentioned. I belong to a knitting club. You want to learn to knit, Boo? Haven't went to any lectures lately. BUT everyone has to eat. Right?

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kraftiekortie
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07 Aug 2016, 8:16 am

Not true, Angela.

Girls just LOVE guys with guitars. Especially in a college town, one could meet people by playing music.

I know this to be true: I was upstaged quite a bit by guys with guitars back in the 80s. Girls flocked to them. Those guys weren't homeless; they usually were idealists from "good"'families.

If in a farm town in Kansas, different story. You'd do well in the artsy section of Topeka, though. Not in the prairies.

John lives in a capital city.

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

Why do you keep thinking that I live in a little house on the prairie? Kansas is a big city. You have to drive quite a ways to find a prairie. And you're talking about something a college kid should do - a lot of guys here - including the OP is not of college age.

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nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:31 am

We have a lot of "players" that play down on the Plaza which is where all the "richies" go.

I gotta get ready to hit the hay and get some beauty rest. And no, I have a real bed, not a hay stack just so you know.

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kraftiekortie
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07 Aug 2016, 8:37 am

I always thought you lived in a decent-sized city.

I don't see anything wrong with a guy trying to woo women through music.

Gordon Lightfoot, gray hair and all, certainly got girls.

Why not give playing guitar a chance? Better than pickup lines!

Outrider
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07 Aug 2016, 8:37 am

Screw that shíte anyway!

I am of near-college age and a musician, but not of the acoustic guitar variety.

I can't actually show off my talent at all as it's electronic I make. I don't even DJ (yet). All I can do is let people listen to my music, and/or give them photograph evidence of my home studio. Or directly show them the project files of the songs I'm working on.

Besides, the one instrument I'm actually taking the time to learn is the keyboard.

Even with a stand, it's a lot more impractical to be dragging around such a bulky keyboard and it's stand rather than just say carrying an acoustic guitar around.

I usually never see bass guitar players or drummers 'busking'/playing for tips either.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2016, 8:44 am

nurseangela wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Socializing in a grocery store is extremely weird.

Seriously, no one does it.

If you're at the fruit section, you can ask him about banana.

-"Are these Somali bananas? Oh I love them thick".

- "Actually, I was checking the melons".

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:45 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

Actually, you're kinda right, Mr. K. One of my Aspie friends is a poet and he sent me a poem and sung a song for me while playing a small guitar and I would have went for him in two seconds flat, but he's too young for me. He's also a genius, too. And a great personality to boot. It sucks getting old.

_________________
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I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

nurseangela
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07 Aug 2016, 8:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Socializing in a grocery store is extremely weird.

Seriously, no one does it.

If you're at the fruit section, you can ask him about banana.

-"Are these Somali bananas? Oh I love them thick".

- "Actually, I was checking the melons".

You're a hoot! Don't forget the cucumbers. I always blush handling the cucumbers when a cute guy is around. :mrgreen:

Ooh! That's a big one!

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

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