First off, I notice a major problem in your thought process. You don't get a girlfriend because you want someone to show off to your family. Women aren't trophies you keep in a display case as proof of your masculinity. (I figured that out when I was 10 years younger than you.) You look for a girlfriend because, as a man, you are physically and mentally designed to enjoy life with a woman, and vice versa.
Also, this is an autism/Asperger's-based forum. Virtually all the people posting things here either have an autism spectrum disorder, have someone close to them on the spectrum, or otherwise know something about the spectrum. This is the worst possible place to be playing the "but I have autism" card. We know. Our advice to you is already factoring that in.
Lastly, what do you want us to tell you? The advice you've been receiving (go out and do things you already enjoy and allow yourself to meet people naturally) is really good advice for anyone. Go out to the movies or something with your guy friends or family and, when you see someone you like, try approaching them. (That's the hard part. It takes some practice, but it's worth it.)
Now, there is one thing you mentioned that does resonate with me: wanting a girlfriend and not just a friend. This I will admit, as an Aspie, is something I also have a really poor understanding of. As far as I can tell, when a guy approached a woman he doesn't know in public for any reason, she is assuming it's because he's attracted to her. That part does not need to be verbalized or indicated to her in any way. The girl is concerned with the man's personality over his appearance and she'd looking to see what kind of traits you posses (as far as I can gather, the traits that make a good boyfriend/husband to a woman are more similar to that of a friend than they are to girlfriend/wife to a man). (That was a very complicated sentence. Basically, women want to date someone who is like a friend to them, more than men do.)
Also, in the pictures you sent, you're not as ugly as you built yourself up to be. I've seen way uglier guys with gorgeous girls. The difference is that, when they want something they don't have, they don't go complaining about all the things stopping them; they better themselves as people however they can until they have it. And, if they never get it, the great part is that all their self-improvement remains anyway.
Also, please stop posting multiple times in a row. It's kind of annoying and you're just rephrasing the same information you've already told us. More replies will come as people with constructive thoughts to add stumble upon this topic. Also, people will be greatly discouraged from giving you advice if all you do is tell us your excuses for why you can't use their advice.
Best luck to you. You're not the only one who's been where you are now.
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11 Aug 2016, 5:05 pm
