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Help with new GF

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Chronos
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08 Aug 2016, 11:49 pm

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
She is not nearby; she is from a European country. I want her to eventually fly to me here in Texas.


If she wants to fly to meet you, fine. If you want to buy the tickets, fine, but whatever you do, don't send her any money ever, particularly if she is from Ukraine.

To be honest, if it's love you are looking for, you should really just meet someone locally.



Bridgette77
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09 Aug 2016, 1:41 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
I think females are far more likely to think it weird if a boy never had a girl.


It would be interesting to find out if that is really true or not.


Well, I'm a girl/woman who is also Neurotipical, if that makes any difference or not, and my boyfriend has never had a girlfriend before me, and I don't think it's weird. It didn't make me run away. It didn't stop me from asking him out either... I don't know if that helps or not.



TomS
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09 Aug 2016, 10:40 am

Be completely honest. Describe yourself exactly as you are. If that turns her off, its better to find out now then later in a personnal meet up. The above mentioned cautions about someone from a foreign country are sound. You have to be careful. Also remember serious online relationships are still a very early stage in terms of a real relationship. Most times that is all it will be and temporary, so take it in a casual way.



WilliamTheConqueror
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09 Aug 2016, 6:52 pm

Chronos wrote:
WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
She is not nearby; she is from a European country. I want her to eventually fly to me here in Texas.


If she wants to fly to meet you, fine. If you want to buy the tickets, fine, but whatever you do, don't send her any money ever, particularly if she is from Ukraine.

To be honest, if it's love you are looking for, you should really just meet someone locally.


Thanks for the heads up, but fortunately for me, I already knew that. No matter HOW much I'll end up loving her, I will never send her any money.
But I do wonder, why is it Ukraine specifically that raises such a red flag?



WilliamTheConqueror
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09 Aug 2016, 6:54 pm

Bridgette77 wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
I think females are far more likely to think it weird if a boy never had a girl.


It would be interesting to find out if that is really true or not.


Well, I'm a girl/woman who is also Neurotipical, if that makes any difference or not, and my boyfriend has never had a girlfriend before me, and I don't think it's weird. It didn't make me run away. It didn't stop me from asking him out either... I don't know if that helps or not.

That actually helps quite a lot. Thanks.



Chronos
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09 Aug 2016, 11:27 pm

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
Chronos wrote:
WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
She is not nearby; she is from a European country. I want her to eventually fly to me here in Texas.


If she wants to fly to meet you, fine. If you want to buy the tickets, fine, but whatever you do, don't send her any money ever, particularly if she is from Ukraine.

To be honest, if it's love you are looking for, you should really just meet someone locally.


Thanks for the heads up, but fortunately for me, I already knew that. No matter HOW much I'll end up loving her, I will never send her any money.
But I do wonder, why is it Ukraine specifically that raises such a red flag?


The country is a hot bed of dating scams which developed around the "mail order bride" industry.



Bridgette77
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10 Aug 2016, 12:17 am

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
Bridgette77 wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
WilliamTheConqueror wrote:
I think females are far more likely to think it weird if a boy never had a girl.


It would be interesting to find out if that is really true or not.


Well, I'm a girl/woman who is also Neurotipical, if that makes any difference or not, and my boyfriend has never had a girlfriend before me, and I don't think it's weird. It didn't make me run away. It didn't stop me from asking him out either... I don't know if that helps or not.

That actually helps quite a lot. Thanks.



You're welcome. Even if it doesn't go well with this one, don't let the fact that you've never had a girlfriend get you down or make you feel less confident. Just be careful while online dating as everyone else has said. Good luck.



rdos
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10 Aug 2016, 9:27 am

Just take it easy and let her know one thing at the time, and let her respond to that before going on so you know how she deals with your interests. Also, make sure you ask her about her interests as well, because that can be nifty in trying to find common grounds. For instance, if she is interested in something that you might want to learn more about, use that to ask her more and educate yourself. That way you can create new common interests.



13bunnyhop
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14 Aug 2016, 7:44 am

Re. OP

This coming from a NT female, be honest. Seriously. If she doesn't like you, then so what. Better to know now than to waste each other's precious time or worse - pretend to be someone you're not and then have to keep up the facade. I have definitely wasted too much time with males not being honest and upfront with me. If I like you, you could have killed a man in your past life and it wouldn't make a difference. But lie to me? Nope, that's a deal breaker.

(I just came out of an abusive relationship so sorry if I sound a bit bitter!)



WilliamTheConqueror
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14 Aug 2016, 7:45 pm

13bunnyhop wrote:
Re. OP

This coming from a NT female, be honest. Seriously. If she doesn't like you, then so what. Better to know now than to waste each other's precious time or worse - pretend to be someone you're not and then have to keep up the facade. I have definitely wasted too much time with males not being honest and upfront with me. If I like you, you could have killed a man in your past life and it wouldn't make a difference. But lie to me? Nope, that's a deal breaker.

(I just came out of an abusive relationship so sorry if I sound a bit bitter!)

I'll try to be as honest as I can with her because she does seem to like me quite a lot.