RetroGamer's Worst Date Ever!

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I'm very weird maybe that's why I'm single lol.

Even though I'm over 50, where I got my degree have still matters to women--they still ask.

That's hard enough with most girls but this girl was so expressionless. Her voice was so toneless. I think she was deliberately trying to avoid negative facial expressions and vocal intonations in an effort to "save face".

Also a lot of our conversations where while we were driving and I have to look at the road, not her face.

It's enough to make me miss my ex. She was very expressive in face and tone of voice. Also she never hesitated to straight up tell me when I did something she didn't like. She also told me when I did something she liked. She didn't mind that I didn't have a uni degree. Maybe because she didn't have one either.

At the time I thought she complained about a lot of trivial things but that's better thinking it and not saying it. At the time I disliked her crying fits but at least I can infer from that that I did something that she didn't like. Crying fits are easier to read than poker face.

I don't get how Chinese culture works. They never complain in order to maintain peace and harmony but that means you have no way to tell when you're doing something they dislike until they ghost you.

At first I found it sort of refreshing that she never complains about anything after four months of having a girlfriend who complains all the time. There's just no way to win. Catch-22.No wonder I'm so unassertive. No wonder I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 27. It's because I'm blind to body language. Yet perception of body language is absolutely required. FML

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 20 Aug 2016, 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Drawyer, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being weird. You just have to find a weird guy.

Just when I had finally convinced myself that my negative obsession with how shameful it is for me to not have a degree was irrational. When I'd finally convinced myself that most people don't care. When I'd worked out there are a lot of people at work with the same position who have IT degrees and if I had an IT degree I'd almost certainly have the same job I have now anyway. Just when I'd convinced myself that those other people at work with civil engineering degrees, art degrees or biology PhDs had wasted their time because they all ended up in IT due to lack of work in their field. I'd finally convinced myself they don't need that fifty thousand dollar debt for them to have the same job position as me because when I applied for the job they did not say a degree was required.

Well maybe my unhealthy obsession with regretting the past was right on the money. Maybe when I thought people will judge me for not having a degree was right all along.

Maybe when I was 18 I should have been in uni and not playing computer games like I was. It just seemed too difficult at the time. Yet other people were able to do it so why couldn't I? Was I some sort of weak willed jellyfish? Did I miss out on the tribal coming of age ritual? Why was I so immature back then? Don't tell me that all 18 year olds are immature because most of the people at work spent their 18th year in uni. Don't tell me it's an asperger thing because there's 11 other people at work with asperger diagnosees. Why was I so much less mature than other people? So she thinks I'm poor? I didn't think of that. It wasn't that I was unable to afford the bigger sandwich. It was just that at the Italian restaurant she couldn't get through her pasta. In my experience it's like that with petite girls. The petite Indian lady at work is about the same size and she can never finish a full size meal either. She'll eat half her chicken burger and say she's full.

I guess I have to make myself look wealthier so that girls think I'm a good provider. The ironic thing is, in my view, guys who spend a lot of money on elaborate things are terrible providers.

Guys who live simply and save their money are good providers. Girls think those guys are cheapskates when ironically, they'd be better able to provide for a family.

The scary thing is, this means girls will interpret things I do for one reason in such a way they thing I did it for another reason. It's like girls expect me to be perfect.

And this coming from a girl who expects me to order for her. If she wanted something else she should have ordered for herself. For her to get me to order for her and then dislike what I ordered is like her expecting me to be a mindreader.

I used to get annoyed when ex would order half the things on the menu but at least she ordered for herself.I'm doomed

I don't think you are doomed, I think you met a girl with a checklist, you ticked enough boxes to go on 5 dates, but as time passed you didn't tick the more subtle criteria.
Seems like a dehumanising outlook to me.

I think you should have taken her to the Chinese restaurant. She obviously likes it if she goes with her friends. If I went to China and someone offered me a barbequed burger and a beer I wouldn't be offended.



This is probably a deal breaker for her because of her parents' expectations.



Unsafe driving is a bad idea.



That's cold. But clear.


That's speculation and generalization and is not useful in personal relations.

Yeah, good point. I was actually planning to take her to a Chinese restaruant yesterday but because she took more than an hour to get ready we didn't have time to go to a restaurant.

I wasn't quite sure which Chinese restaurant to take her to since I think most of the suburban Chinese restaurants aren't authentic. They just put batter and sickly sweet sauce all over everything. I was thinking of driving us to Chinatown to find a real Chinese restaurant.Yeah. I should have gone to university like a normal person.Unsafe driving is a bad idea.[/quote]Yeah but she shouldn't wait an extra 45 minutes for a show that's starting soon. She was always late. Other times we'd agree to meet in the city at a certain time, I'd text her that I was there and at that time she'd leave home and catch the bus while I waited an hour.That's cold. But clear.[/quote]I think it's rude.

Maybe if she would just give me feedback on what I was doing wrong, then she'd have a better way than that to tell me I did something wrong.

or avoided a conservative chinese girl

there's always two sides to it. it makes sense to focus on the side you're able/willing to change and ignore the other one. and in my opinion, it would be pointless to go to college just to please someone else when you already have a good job. so it seems clear to me which side makes more sense to focus on

I understand that you enjoy the company of Asian women but maybe you have romanticised the prospect of dating one until you believed that the grass was greener in Asian culture.

She just wasn't a cool girl for you.

The other girl is of Chinese descent, if I recall correctly. Yet, she seemed much more Ausssie. More your cultural speed.

Just seek out girls who are more culturally like you, yet who are not as trippy as your ex.

I suspect that dating in Australia is similar to England and similarly casual.

Pubs and barbeques all around! Now I am curious if they have chip shops down under.

BAH!

The dating world isn't laidback here at all.

Our culture can be, yeah, we're a simple and laid-back and friendly one generally, but once you're on a date, that all goes out the window and it's about perfectionism and satisfying people's high standards.

Laidback, chill women who if you were friends would love to get some fast food or hot chips suddenly become absolute princesses who only expect the best if on a date.

In reality it is not greener, at all.
In Eastern cultures, man is viewed as "man", and woman as "woman" - with very predefined traits; if you lack a traditional predefined genderized trait, you get penalized in dating.
In Retro's case, the "not a man" traits she found out were: Lack of Uni degree (=lack of status), lack of wealth (retro phone), lack of leadership (getting lost) and lack of generosity (offering half sandwich).
If you think that there's no way one would analyze a man that deeply based on such little details - you're wrong - In East at least they calculate every material, every move, every word you say, every reaction, every breath...

I had dates who were checking even my shoes. lol

UK, US, English Canada, Australia and NZ are all one same mega culture; the differences are like regional differences within the same country.

i suppose "big city" and "small town" probably makes more difference