Creepiness

Post Reply New Topic

I think the stereotype of socially-awkward, virginal guys being 'creeps' towards women comes from an impression of sexual frustration. I know it's not always true (I'm a virgin and I'm not remotely sexually frustrated) but if you are, or if you appear nervous/awkward, that might be the vibe you're giving off.

The 'creep'-factor can be exacerbated by guys asking out girls who are not into them/ may not be expecting them to make a move romantically. This must be harder for ND guys, because they might not pick up the little signals in a conversation that show a girl is/isn't into you.

One thing I would say though (as a ND girl); why do guys ask you out when they don't know you? I've been asked out by people I know in passing, but have never had a full conversation with. I don't find it creepy (it's possible a NT girl would), but I do find it confusing, I would love to know what motivates that kind of bold social move. I'm not talking about confident 'player' types either, just normal guys.

Like I say, I'm usually too confused to be creeped out, but I can see why a NT girl might be in this situation. If I don't know the guy, and have never spoken to him properly, then it's logical to assume his interest is driven by looks and/or sex. Sometimes a lady will take a compliment, other times she will be offended by the objectification; that part's just down to the individual.

Maybe it's because they'd rather not be friendzoned.

Argh, sorry for nitpicking, but I hate that term... In my mind there's no such thing as a "friendzone". Unless the person in question literally states that they maintain a "friendzone", and clearly tell you that you are in it, it's better to assume that they're just as confused and indecisive as any other human. /end rant.

It's no more fake than the bizarro concept of 'Nice Guys'. In fact it's a lot simpler to comprehend. Strangers have far more flexibility than those you've settled into neat little boxes marked "just friends" or otherwise.

I don't speak for all girls, but I don't like the term friendzoned; I prefer to look at it as being romance-zoned.

'Friendzoned' seems to imply that all male acquaintances start off automatically as potential sexual/romantic partners, and are then deliberately down-graded to just friends. This puts an expectation of sex/romance on the girl which can make things creepy. Really (and I'm working from observation here), many relationships seem to build in the opposite direction; people start as friends and get to know each-other, and then they realise there is a romantic spark there too.

Male heterosexual virgins are more likely to be sexually frustrated, because there’s usually noöne interested in having sex with them, much unlike female virgins, who are usually virgins because they themselves haven’t found anyone attractive or interesting enough to lose their virginity with them.

At any rate, if you’re sexually frustrated, your frustration doesn’t go away just because you behave properly, so, considering your sexual frustration is a sufficient reason for women to avoid you, they still want to avoid you. In fact, you could be accused of trying to fool them with your good manners to take advantage of them. Once frustrated, frustrated for life, as there’s no acceptable way to quench your frustration.



Every friend, acquaintance or romantic or sexual partner was once a stranger. Since strangers are meant to remain strangers, they have to break the rules if they want to have a chance. They’ve probably decided to take their chances breaking the rules.

Mate, only jerks get friendzoned, and all they do is piss and moan about it in an undiginified fashion, and go on about cucks and betas and s**t.

Anyone else endures unrequited love, and they create some of the greatest and most enduring testaments to human experience and longing.

Why would anyone pick the former over the latter?

Because that's what most society does. A date is o converse and get to know each other. It's a starting point from strangers to more. They think you're pretty and want to get to know you so they ask you out on a social gathering meant to do so aka a date.
I'm fare far to shy to do so despite being encouraged by people to do so.

Next time if a guy ask you and you find him attractive say yes(unless you don't want a relationship. Meet someone public and talk. This is how it was done since the 1900s.

I wish I had women asking me out , but it's me expected to ask random women out and I can't do that

That's very well stated, thanks for that... I hadn't considered approaching the issue from that angle.

Not really. Anybody that goes the friend path with me are permanently friendzoned.

Asking a stranger out is inherently creepy. An attractive, socially confident person can get past that though.

What an oddly brutal and slightly sinister way of saying, 'if you want to be my friend, I'll make you my friend for life'.

The point being that, unless these people were jerks, they wouldn't for a moment think 'oh, I've been friendzoned by rdos. Best go online and piss and moan about it'. Rather, they'd just get on with, you know, being your friend.

More like 'if you want to be my partner, don't try to make friends with me'. Naturally, for friends, they can be unfriended at any time I don't find them interesting anymore, but they still cannot attain partner status even if I regain interest in them again. They'll just be put back into the friendzone then.



If they are real jerks, they might end up in "you are air to me. you don't exist". That's usually a status for life.

Well, that's one way of going about it. Why do you call it a 'friendzone'? The word has a tone similar to 'the naughty step' or 'timeout corner', as though it's some form of chastisement.

For you, if someone wants to be your friend, that creates a mental block where they cannot become something romantic. Surely there's a better word and description for that than that you've 'put them in the friendzone'?



My point, perhaps lost in the subtleties of language, is that one has to be a jerk to first conceive of being in a 'friendzone'. If they are not jerks, they simply won't think of it that way.

"I have romantic feelings for someone and they are not returned" is unrequited love. "I have romantic feelings for someone and they are not returned, but they do like and value me such to be my friend" is a particularly poignant form of unrequited love. 'Friendzone' just sounds sneery and whiney, like a temper tantrum, and dismisses and denigrates what can be one of the finest things, what any number of members here want for when they talk about their loneliness - to be and have a friend.

I just think it's a sh***y, cheap term, which is indicative of a stroppy and solipsistic worldview and pisspoor thinking.

Those guys are probably white knight losers in real life.

Wait? Unrequited love is supposed to be a good thing? Everyone has always told me "if a girl friend zones you, stop being attracted to her."

What "friendzoned" actually means is when the girl says she wants to be friends, when she really doesn't mean it.